


Zuko's Nightmares

by Firelord_Eva



Series: Zuko's Nightmares AU [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Gen, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, How Do I Tag, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Aang/Katara, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, On Hiatus, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Protective Sokka (Avatar), Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), Touch-Starved, Triggers, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), dadkoda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 63,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25427962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firelord_Eva/pseuds/Firelord_Eva
Summary: Zuko joins the Gaang at the western air temple but is trusted quickly after past trauma is revealed in his nightmares. The Gaang realizes how much Zuko really needs their help.Trigger warnings: Proceed with caution, please read all tags and notes. Follow me on Tumblr for upload and posting details @Firelord-Eva
Relationships: Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Zuko's Nightmares AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029435
Comments: 555
Kudos: 1610





	1. Hello, Zuko Here

**Author's Note:**

> There are potential trigger warnings further in the story, but at the beginning, it is simply an introduction to Zuko and his nightmares. Hope you enjoy and continue to read. I'm not sure how often I'll update but I have a lot typed after just two days. Just going to let it take me where it wants to, there is a loose plot as of right now. I haven't read through it yet so feel free to tell me if anything is wrong.

Chapter One: Hello, Zuko Here

Finally, he could breathe. The Gaang hasn’t accepted him as a friend yet, but they did allow him to join and be Aang’s firebending teacher. Sokka had shown Zuko to a room, but soon after he settled in he realized how close he was to the other members of Team Avatar. Knowing about his tendency to have (rather loud) nightmares he makes the decision to try and find another suitable place to spend his nights. 

After about half an hour of mindless wandering, he makes the decision to sleep in the room with the giant pai sho table. It reminds him of his Uncle. He decides to leave his things in his assigned room as to not seem ungrateful for what he was given. He figured he could go to his room at night and after everyone was asleep go to the pai sho room, he would make sure to be up early enough to sneak back into his room again. 

He had managed to keep this routine for exactly three days before someone caught him. That person was none other than Katara, the one person who still actively hated him. She didn’t call him out on it when she saw him, but made sure to do so the next day at the campfire for dinner. 

“So, where have you been sneaking off to every night Zuko?” Katara asked during a lull in the conversation. “Plotting to double-cross us again?”

Everyone looked stunned, Katara was the only one who had seen it happening and was also the only one who refused to trust him at all. Zuko just turned red and stopped eating. It had been hard enough getting him to sit with them in the beginning, and as soon as he had Katara decided to attack him. 

Aang quickly jumped to Zuko’s aid and said, “I’m sure Zuko has a very good reason for leaving his room at night. He probably just had to go to the bathroom!” Aang supplied helpfully, shooting Zuko a sympathetic look. Somehow Zuko managed to turn redder. 

Zuko responded after an uncomfortable silence. “I’m not plotting against you.” Not sure what else to say, he left it at that.   
“You may be telling the truth about not plotting against us Sparky, but you still ain’t giving us a good reason for sneaking off” Toph said after he showed no signs of adding on to his comment. “Tell us what’s going on.”

“Fine.” Zuko sighed, he really didn’t want to tell them about the nightmares, they were weak and stupid and he was entirely too old to be having them. “I get nightmares almost every night, I didn’t want to wake anyone.” He said calmly. Not giving anyone a chance to say anything he moved further into an explanation. “I was afraid you would be upset with me if I woke you in the middle of the night because of how close the rooms are, so on my first night I found a place far enough away that I wouldn’t wake you.”

Immediately Aang jumped in and said, “No one would be mad at you, we all get nightmares, it’s common occurrence from the war.” Everyone else seemed to nod in agreement. Sokka even said that he speaks in his sleep sometimes. 

Zuko nodded and proceeded to ask “Are you sure you wouldn’t be upset? Because that room isn’t exactly the best for sleeping.” He said with a bashful smile. Everyone confirmed that they would not be angry with him and that he should stay in his room. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sleeping in an actual bed, Zuko had managed to avoid loud nightmares for two whole nights before they came back. The third night, the gaang was woken with a blood curdling scream from inside the temple. Everyone had immediately ran out of their respective rooms to see what had happened. After doing a head count they realized the only person not in the hall was Zuko, which meant that the scream could only have come from him. 

The past two nights Team Avatar had heard the whimpers and cries from Zuko’s room, and didn’t say anything because they knew to expect nightmares now that he had told them. But tonight was different. This was a scream of pain and anguish followed by sobs. They had not expected this and immediately assumed that Zuko was being attacked in the night. Rushing to his room weapons drawn, they kicked open the door. They didn’t know what to expect, but it was not the prince of the fire nation curled up in a corner rocking back and forth and sobbing. 

Zuko was having a panic attack. He woke up from another nightmare of the Agni Kai and lost control. He sobbed loudly and scurried away from the door once he had heard footsteps. His panicked mind thought he was back home and his father was coming to yell at him for waking him with yet another nightmare. 

Sokka and Aang sent the girls back to bed stating that they could handle this. In reality they had no clue what to do. Aang made quick work of putting out the fire on Zuko’s bed, while Sokka settled on trying to talk to him. He had stopped sobbing, but he was still whimpering every so often. Sokka couldn’t believe that this was the same teenager that had been chasing them for the past few months. He looked so small. 

Both Sokka and Aang quickly learned that Zuko was not to be touched in this state when he firebent at them. Sokka ended up sending away a reluctant Aang because whenever he used his bending Zuko seemed to get more afraid than he already was. Upon the young bender’s exit Zuko seemed to calm slightly. 

Sokka crouched down in front of the prince but was careful not to touch him. “Hey buddy. Can you talk to me?” Sokka asked softly. All he got in reply was a strangled whimper. 

Sokka wasn’t sure what to do so he sat next to Zuko and just kept him company while he calmed down so they could talk about it. Eventually after about an hour and a half, he was calm enough to register what was happening and that he wasn’t in danger. 

“S-Sorry.” He managed to choke out. Sokka was at a loss for words, he was apologising to me. What on earth was going through his head that made him think that he needed to apologise?

“You don’t have to apologise. It’s not your fault.” He said as soon as he managed to find his words. Zuko’s response came almost instantaneously. 

“It is my fault, I’m far too old to still be having nightmares, I don’t deserve to be comforted when I woke people up. Why did you stay?” Zuko asked.

Sokka replied much faster this time. “Zuko, I stayed because that’s what friends do, they help after nightmares, and make sure they’re ok” He hated to see Zuko so upset at himself over something as simple as having a nightmare. “Can I ask what it was about?” Sokka was morbidly curious, but also didn’t want to push him. 

Zuko was stunned, no one was ever nice to him, and they especially didn’t ask about his nightmares. “It was about when I got my scar.” He stated in as calm of a voice as he could manage. He wasn’t quite ready to tell them the story but he also was relishing in the chance to talk about his nightmare with someone. 

Sokka responded with a simple “Okay.” before adding “Do you want me to stay, or do you want to get back to sleep?” He was willing to stay, but it was clear that Zuko didn’t want to explain the story of his scar yet. 

“No, you can go back to sleep, I might try to get a few more hours before sunrise as well” He said before adding “Sorry again for waking you, this is why I went to that room across the temple” He didn’t want to keep Sokka awake any longer than he already had, even if he did want him to stay by his side for a little longer. 

“Dude, seriously, don’t apologise, it’s not your fault. You sure you’re going to be ok?” Sokka asked. He got a short nod in response. As much as he wanted to keep helping Zuko, he was exhausted and decided that he could talk to him more in the morning. He could’ve sworn he saw the prince shed a few tears before he shut the door behind him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka couldn’t sleep the rest of the night, regardless of how tired he was. His head was reeling with the revelation that Zuko had nightmares that bad. No one realized that they were that bad when he mentioned it. He said he was loud, but he had just assumed that he was referring to the whimpers and cries from the last few nights. 

Sokka recalled the last two breakfasts, he had asked if Zuko slept well hoping that he would open up and tell them about the nightmares from the night before, but he had always said he slept better than normal being in the bed. 

He suddenly came to a startling realization, what happened tonight, that was normal for the 16 year old boy. That was what his every night was like, that’s why his quiet cries were good nights. The thought broke the warrior’s heart. He had disliked Zuko until the nightmare thing came up, he immediately sympathized with the prince as he had some pretty heavy nightmares sometimes, but he couldn’t relate to what woke him up that night. 

He came to the decision to lay down and calm his thoughts, he planned to talk to the gaang in the morning about this and then Zuko.


	2. Nightmare Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko explains that he has nightmares to the Gaang, and Aang finds one of Zuko's triggers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop writing this. I think I've become obsessed. It might be because I've been sitting on some of these ideas for over a month but haven't had the courage to write anything. This is the first fic I've ever written tbh. I hope you enjoy the continuation however. No smut yet, but soon.

That morning everyone ate in silence. No one knew what they were supposed to say to Zuko. It was the prince himself who broke the silence when everyone was finished. 

“I’d like to apologize to everyone for what happened last night, I understand if you want me to go back to sleeping on the other side of the temple.” He said calmly, almost as if he was expecting to be sent away. 

Everyone looked shocked at that statement. No one other than Sokka was expecting him to apologize and offer to go sleep elsewhere in the temple. They had expected him to pretend it didn’t happen or wait for it to be mentioned by one of them, but an apology from Zuko was not only weird but under the circumstances, was also unwarranted. 

Aang spoke up first. “Zuko… Zuko you don’t have to apologize. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through to end up with a nightmare so bad that it leaves you screaming. No, you don’t have to go back across the temple. If anyone has an issue with it then they’re the ones who should be leaving the area. You shouldn’t be punished for something you can’t control.” The rest of the group nodded enthusiastically.

Zuko looked confused but grateful. “Why are you being nice? I woke everyone up with a childish nightmare, it was my fault and I should be adequately punished for it.” Everyone else looked shocked.

Before anyone could protest Zuko had told Aang that it was time for practice, and they were off. Zuko just wanted time to think about what had happened and figured 20 minutes of meditation should do it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Go ahead and start your meditation Aang.” Zuko said once they were in their training area. Before Aang could protest or try to talk to him he sat down and started his meditation. He didn’t think Aang would be able to tell if he wasn’t really meditating, but of course, he did because he’s the all-knowing avatar. 

Aang interrupted his thoughts after about two minutes, he would’ve interrupted sooner than that but he decided to give him time to clear his head. “Zuko, are you okay? You still aren’t meditating.” He didn’t know how he knew, and he couldn’t figure out what he was thinking about, but he knew his head wasn’t calm like it needed to be during meditation. 

“I’m fine.” Zuko stated plainly. “How do you even know that?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“It’s an avatar thing I suppose.” Aang replied. “I can’t tell what you’re thinking, but I can tell that your mind is racing.” He added upon seeing his worried expression.

“Go back to your meditation Aang, don’t worry about me.” Zuko had hoped that that would get him off his case, but he suspected that it wouldn’t. He was surprised when Aang listened to him, but it didn’t last long. Especially when he had decided to actually try and meditate this time.

“Zuko? Zuko, will you please tell me what’s wrong?” Aang said after another five minutes of Zuko’s attempts at meditation. He could tell that the older teen was struggling. He also noticed that he was actually trying to meditate this time and failing miserably. “If you don’t want to talk then maybe we should take today off, wait until tomorrow when your mind is clearer.”

“No Aang. We aren’t canceling practice, and I’m not going to tell you what’s wrong because there is nothing wrong.” Zuko said. Little did he know, Aang had been practicing his earthbending and could tell he was lying. 

Aang decided to give it up and finish the meditation anyways. Zuko only managed about five minutes before the timer went off and they started. Zuko was doing better than Aang had expected without the full 20 minutes of meditation, but he could tell that he was still off when they got around to the sparring section. Aang made the decision to go easy on him, but not let it show. 

Zuko noticed as soon as Aang started to take it easy on him, but he didn’t mention it. He was actually kind of grateful for it, he wasn’t thinking straight and he was definitely going to lose and he’d rather not get burned as well. 

The young avatar ended the match rather quickly with a fire-fist to Zuko’s neck. He flinched violently and seemed to space out for a second. 

“NO! No please!” Zuko stuttered when the fist came towards his face. This is how they always ended their matches, with a fire-fist towards the other’s neck, it was the same with swords and other bending. He was always fine before, but he hadn’t managed to get enough meditation in before they started so he wasn’t all there. He had the same thoughts every time they sparred and Aang won, but he was always able to keep his mouth shut because of the meditation. 

Aang of course had noticed Zuko flinch when he won, but he didn’t think anything of it, he had assumed that it was just adrenaline from the fight. He immediately put out the fire when Zuko said that. He was scared for his well-being, he was trembling and had unshed tears in his eyes. 

“Zuko?” Aang tried to get the boy’s attention with no response. “ZUKO?! Zuko are you ok?!” He still didn’t get a response, but the teenager seemed to snap out of it. 

The older boy looked up at Aang with fear in his eyes. This time it wasn’t from what his father did to him, but because he had freaked out in front of someone for the second time in 12 hours. His face turned bright red and the tears finally started falling. He scrambled away mumbling apology after apology and curling in on himself. When he finally calmed down enough to make any sense he addressed the avatar. 

“I’m so sorry Aang. I didn’t mean to freak out, I should’ve put more effort into my meditating before we started, this never would’ve happened if I did.” Zuko confessed. He didn’t want the younger boy to think he had done anything wrong. 

Aang was stunned at Zuko’s first response when he calmed down. “Zuko, you don’t have to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. I noticed you flinching before now, but I never thought anything of it. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.” Aang said quickly before the prince could put himself down any further. 

Zuko was confused, everyone had been nice to him since the nightmare thing came up. Even Katara had stopped fighting everything he did. Now even Aang was apologizing for winning the spar fair and square. He hadn’t thought that his flinching was bad enough to be noticed either. He finally spoke up after what felt like an eternity. “Why are you being nice to me? I don’t deserve this.”

Aang was angry at whoever did this to Zuko. “Zuko, everyone deserves kindness in their lives.” He stated plainly. He realized that whoever did this to him was probably the person who gave him the scar. He made the decision to ask about it, but be careful as to not scare him away. “Zuko, you know you can talk to us about anything wrong right?” He asked hoping to coax him into opening up. He just got a blank stare and decided to try again. “Do you want to talk about what happened today?”

“I don’t know?.” Zuko said, and after a pause seemed to decide, “No, no I don’t. I don’t need to talk about things. Just go through your Katas again and call it a day.” He immediately proceeded to get up and wander off into his room. 

Aang was left to think on his own. He didn’t manage to do his Katas until about 30 minutes later. He finished just in time for Katara to call for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, I hope you all enjoy. Kudos and comments appreciated. I will try to respond to them all when I can.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka tries to comfort Zuko through a nightmare and quickly realizes how bad they really are. Katara finally realizes how bad Zuko's trauma is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of title on this chapter. I kinda suck at labeling things, but I hope you enjoy. No smut in this chapter, but it comes in next chapter.

Zuko wasn’t at lunch or dinner. Aang was starting to get worried about him. He assumed he had some food in his personal supplies from before he joined to eat, but it still worried him that he didn’t have an actual meal. He finally spoke up at dinner when Sokka asked where Zuko went off to. 

“He was acting really strange all day.” Aang said. “He avoided us at breakfast, during practice he struggled with his meditation, and he freaked out when I won. He refused to tell me what was wrong and I don’t think he left his room since.” 

“Wait. He struggled with his meditation?” Sokka asked. “He’s always said how good he was at it.”

“You’re worried about his meditation?!” Katara exclaimed. “He attacked Aang when he won, who is that sore of a loser?”

Aang put a quick end to that. “No Katara, he didn’t attack me.” He was going to explain but Katara didn’t give him a chance. 

“You said he freaked out when you won, even if he didn’t attack you, he shouldn’t be such a sore loser.” Katara huffed indignantly at being told she was wrong. 

“As I was saying before I was interrupted,” Aang said as he glared at Katara. “It was like last night, he started begging me not to hurt him.” He continued before anyone else could interrupt. “It was like he wasn’t there, he was somewhere else. When he realized where he was he scrambled away and apologized a lot. He blamed himself for it and said he shouldn’t be acting so ‘childish’” Aang said with a look of concern on his face. 

Sokka piped up and said, “Zuko was saying the same kind of things last night when I tried to comfort him, he said he didn’t deserve to be comforted.” The Gaang all looked stunned. No one could believe that a prince of all things, had such low self-esteem that he believed he didn’t deserve help and that he was at fault for what appeared to be trauma. “I hate to say it,” Sokka started, “but I think he’s being abused. Or was at least.” Even Katara looked worried. 

After a lot of arguing, they decided to take turns at night going past his room to try and comfort him after nightmares and wake him up during them. Sokka took the first shift after insisting multiple times. They assumed he had already gone to sleep so they would tell him in the morning what their plan was. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The night was a little rough on Sokka. He didn’t know what to do, but he realized upon getting there that Zuko was still awake. He was shuffling around his room and he could see the torch flickering. He made the decision to make his normal rounds to everyone else with ‘goodnights’ and then make his way back. 

After Sokka had told everyone goodnight he went back to his own room to get a torch, his scrolls, and a blanket to make himself more comfortable. He settled down just outside Zuko’s door at an angle that his torch shouldn’t be noticed. He had stopped shuffling in his room by the time he got back so Sokka assumed he had either gone to sleep or was meditating. 

He got his answer about two hours later when he started to hear whimpering from Zuko’s room. He left him alone for a few more minutes to see if he would settle on his own. He was going to just enter, but he realized that he had ‘needs’ himself sometimes and figured it’d be better to knock just in case it wasn’t a nightmare. After he knocked and didn’t get a response he entered deciding it was safe.

Zuko was thrashing in his bed and his face was tear-stained. It was definitely a nightmare. Sokka went over to his bed to shake him awake but soon thought better of it after remembering what happened last time he touched him without him being fully aware. He settled for just calling his name to wake him up. 

“Zuko. Zukoooo. Wake up buddy, you’re having a nightmare” Zuko stirred but didn’t wake. Sokka decided to shake him lightly and hope he didn’t get burned. “Zuuukooo. Wake upp” Zuko’s eyes snapped open, he looked terrified. 

“NO! Father, no, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you!” Zuko exclaimed and started crying. He hadn’t quite noticed where he was yet. 

Sokka was shocked that he was afraid of what his father would do if he woke him up with a nightmare. He didn’t quite comprehend it, his father had always been sure to comfort him after nightmares. “Zuko, it’s me Sokka. You’re safe, nothing is going to happen to you” Sokka hoped that it would calm the boy down, but he just seemed to become more upset. He started apologizing for waking Sokka up again and again. Sokka decided to try to touch the boy, his father rubbing his back always seemed to calm him down so he tried it. 

Zuko was dumbfounded. Sokka wasn’t angry with him, he wasn’t even leaving. He started rubbing circles on his back. He had to admit that it felt nice, but he started to pull away because he didn’t deserve comfort. He didn’t deserve anything but pain. He was still crying which just made him feel small. He hated that feeling and wished he was stronger. 

Sokka noticed Zuko lean into the touch and immediately notice himself and pull away. Because he had leaned into it first Sokka didn’t let him pull away. Zuko eventually turned so he couldn’t keep comforting him with touch, so Sokka decided to try and talk to him about it. 

“Hey, are you ok?” Sokka asked, hoping to get some insight into what had happened to him. 

“I’m fine.” Zuko mumbled. “I’m sorry for waking you up again” He stated. He was unsure of when it had happened but he was sure he had screamed again, otherwise, Sokka wouldn’t be there. He wasn’t worth helping, he probably only helped last night to ensure he could go back to sleep without being woken again. 

“You don’t have to apologize. We decided at dinner that we would take turns at night making sure you don’t have nightmares, and if you do, to wake you up.” Sokka said calmly in the hopes that it would make the boy feel better. 

Zuko was stunned. No one had ever been so nice to him before. His father had always punished him for waking him with nightmares. He tried to avoid it as much as possible, but avoiding the nightmares just made them come more often. He decided he was going to take this opportunity to actually talk about his nightmares since he wasn’t sure if he would ever get the chance again. “I get that nightmare a lot.” He stated plainly in the hopes that Sokka would show him if he could continue or not. 

Sokka was happy the reserved prince was opening up to him. “Okay. What happened in the nightmare?” He asked before quickly adding “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do.” Sokka was relieved when Zuko looked like he was going to talk again. 

“It was right after I got my scar. I was banished and it was my first night on the ship. I was in so much pain that I was vomiting and I think the infection had set in. I was homesick and every time I cried the tears made my burn hurt all the worse so I just cried harder.” Zuko explained. 

Sokka was disgusted at how his father could banish him before he was even healed. “Your father was horrible for not letting you heal before you were sent away. It’s bad enough that he banished you at all.” He wasn’t sure how he got the scar, but he wasn’t going to push. He wanted Zuko to trust him which meant letting him tell him on his own time. He went to give the banished prince a hug bug he pulled away before he could. 

“You should go back to bed.” Zuko finally said after Sokka tried to hug him. He didn’t deserve any of this. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone, but I’m staying outside in the hall. Come get me if you need me.” Sokka said before leaving the room and going back to the scrolls he was working on. 

Zuko decided to go back to sleep rather than dwell on what had just happened. He was exhausted and crying made him even more tired. He didn’t have any more nightmares that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Kudos and comments appreciated. X )
> 
> P.S. You all have been so nice to me. I've never written a fic before, and I love creative writing, but I never finished anything. I always thought my writing sucked so I dropped the stories. I might post some of my old ones eventually, but I can't tell you guys how much the comments mean to me. Updates will be sporadic, but I'll try to do at least one per day, working on editing the next chapter now. I also try not to read through them before posting because I know I'll end up hating it and never post it. (Sorry for rambling. Hope you enjoyed though)


	4. Not a Nightmare...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is woken by Sokka from what Sokka had assumed was a nightmare. A very embarrassing conversation ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has some smut, but it's not graphic. Hope you enjoy the awkwardness of these two teens. Sorry if it's a little long, the conversation at the end was a little tricky to write.

They stayed on the rotation for checking in on Zuko at night. Katara was the only one who didn’t do it. She always made sure to give him extra breakfast on the nights she was woken up to screams though. None of them told the others what Zuko had told them in the early hours of the morning. They respected his privacy and allowed him to tell them only what he wanted to. Some nights he didn’t say anything at all, some he talked, and some he just sent the others out of the room wanting to be alone. No one questioned it. 

It had been two weeks of this rotation. Which means Zuko had been with the Gaang for three weeks. Zuko had taken Katara to deal with the man who had killed her mother, but they never went to boiling rock. Sokka went on his own and escaped with Suki and Hakoda in the cooler the first time. Zuko didn’t find out he had gone until he came back with the two of them. Hakoda didn’t trust Zuko yet, but he didn’t do anything to hurt him. 

Zuko was terrified as soon as Hakoda came to the camp. He had never heard of a father who didn’t hurt their family. He did his best to protect Sokka and Katara, and never left them alone with their father, but he was too afraid to confront him directly. Hakoda figured it was just because they had a mutual distrust of each other. 

No one clued Hakoda in on the night rotation of Zuko’s room so he didn’t find out until three days later. After an ‘incident’ kept Sokka and Zuko from looking at each other without blushing.

Sokka had been confused as to why Zuko never seemed to have ‘man problems’. He never had a boner around any of them, only ever had nightmares, and when he woke he went straight to training. Maybe he’s just good at hiding it. Sokka thought. He decided to think about something else. He went to work on his scrolls again and eventually forgot about it altogether. 

Tonight it was Sokka’s night on rotation Zuko realized. The thought of that made his cheeks flush. He had managed to develop a small crush on the boy over the last two weeks. It only got worse when it was his night on rotation. Over the years in the palace and on a ship full of males, he learned how to conceal himself at all times. He was rather proud of how good he had gotten. He wished he was better at hiding when he blushed though. Sokka had taken to sitting next to him during meals and it never failed to turn him on. 

Zuko hadn’t had a chance to ‘relieve’ himself since the day the rotation had started. He stayed up late dealing with himself and went to sleep soon after. As soon as Sokka had mentioned the rotation he hadn’t given it a second thought, but the next time he was hard he did. He hasn’t jerked off since then and it was getting to him. That night he went to bed with a hard-on, he couldn’t deal with it knowing Sokka was right outside his door, but he realized very quickly that not doing so was a bad idea. 

Sokka started to hear whimpers from Zuko’s room again sometime in the middle of the night. He had knocked and gotten the usual lack of reply so he went in. He didn’t look at what was going on and just set to waking him up. However, he soon realized that he should’ve listened and looked a little closer before doing that. 

Zuko woke up with a start and seemed almost angry. That was new, he seemed scared sometimes, other sad, but never angry. “Why did you wake me up?” He asked angrily.

“Because you were having a nightmare?” Sokka said. He wasn’t sure why he was upset at being woken up from a nightmare. 

“No, no I wasn’t” Zuko said before realizing he must’ve been making noise. “Shit… Was I making noise?” He asked. He was actually having a very pleasant dream at the time, about the man in front of him no less. He flushed bright red at the thought that he was heard.

Sokka replied before realizing what had happened. “Yeah, you were. What do you mean it wasn’t a nightmare?” It dawned on Sokka very quickly what had happened. “Shit, shit, sorry. Um… I’ll just… go and let you deal with that.” He said awkwardly as he noticed Zuko’s boner. He stumbled out of the room and grabbed his stuff figuring he could give the teen a little while to deal with it. 

Zuko was mortified and angry for multiple reasons. One, Sokka had heard his wet dream and proceeded to wake him up. Two, he was painfully hard and didn’t know what to do about it, he was on the verge of orgasm when Sokka woke him. And three, the other teen had expected him to ‘deal’ with it and left him alone. He really wanted to take Sokka up on his offer of privacy, but he didn’t think he could. He made the decision to see how far Sokka went before making a decision on what to do. 

After doing a thorough check near his door he realized that Sokka was nowhere near his room to hear. He was in too much pain at this point to not do anything about it anyways. He would’ve done it without checking, but he had learned that he wasn’t quiet when he touched himself so he looked to make sure Sokka wasn’t there before beginning. 

Sokka didn’t know what to do. He had walked in on another man’s wet dream. He would’ve killed Zuko on the spot if he was woken from one, but Zuko just sat there, probably in pain, and embarrassed as hell. Sokka was embarrassed, but he figured it was going to happen sooner or later since Zuko never jerked off. Sokka was more embarrassed by the fact that he had gotten a boner upon realizing what he had walked in on. No wonder the boy looked angry when he was woken. Sokka decided to deal with his own issue and wondered if Zuko was doing the same. 

After Sokka had finished he realized that his very male friend had given him a boner. He was straight wasn’t he? He was confused as hell. He decided he wouldn’t go back to Zuko’s room tonight to listen for nightmares, he didn’t want to hear what was happening and he felt too awkward anyways. 

~~~~~~~~~~

That morning at breakfast the boys sat as far apart from each other as possible. Everyone noticed but didn’t say anything assuming that it was related to the nightmare rotation. 

Zuko was still mortified, his face turned bright red anytime he caught sight of Sokka. Why did it have to be him on rotation that night? He couldn’t imagine it being worse if anyone else had been there that night. He was dreaming about Sokka himself for spirits' sake. He was also embarrassed because it took him under a minute to finish after Sokka had left. He blamed it on the dream before though. 

Hakoda decided to confront Sokka on what was going on between the boys. He noticed that they were avoiding each other but at dinner the night before they were cracking jokes and sitting next to each other. 

“Sokka, what happened between you and Zuko?” He was prepared to end the bender on the spot if he had hurt his son. He noticed the embarrassed blush that was on his son’s face which he had previously thought was anger. 

Sokka decided to tell him about the nightmare rotation but avoided details of last night. “Zuko gets nightmares most nights so we take turns to stay up outside his door and make sure to wake him when he has them. I was on rotation last night” He dropped it at that, hoping that his father would drop the subject. Of course, he didn’t.

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain what happened between you two.” Hakoda said, hoping his son would open up to him. He wasn’t sure what had happened and wanted to help

Sokka still refused to say it, but he wanted to tell someone. “I woke him up thinking he was having a nightmare again, and he, wasn’t.” He hoped that it was enough for his dad to know what had happened, but his father still looked confused.

“So he wasn’t having a nightmare, but that doesn’t explain why you’re embarrassed. Do you feel bad about not knowing he was ok?” He asked, figuring his son was just upset that he couldn’t read his friend as well as he wanted to. 

“No.” Sokka replied. He paused before continuing. “He was having a very nice dream when I woke him up…” Sokka said as he flushed a deep red. He wasn’t going to say anything else if his father didn’t get it. Thankfully he did. 

“Oh. Oh.” He said. He finally realized what had happened. His son had woken Zuko from a wet dream assuming it was a nightmare. He hadn’t even thought of that as an option. They were teenagers, of course their hormones were going crazy, and when would they find a chance to relieve themselves without the others knowing. Sokka broke him from his thoughts by speaking. 

“Should I apologize to him?” Sokka asked. He was unsure if he should do anything. It was awkward as hell either way. He felt really uncomfortable just talking to his father about this, let alone Zuko himself. 

“You probably should. I would suggest against making a big deal about it or telling the others, but don’t forego an apology altogether.” Hakoda suggested. He didn’t seem any more comfortable with this situation than his son did. He really hadn’t wanted to know about the young prince’s wet dreams. It finally dawned on him that his son was so uncomfortable with this because he knew what was happening to Zuko. That thought hurt Hakoda, he had learned without his help. 

“Thanks dad. I’ll make sure to do that next time I see him.” Sokka said as he pulled him into a hug. He was determined to make this up to Zuko. He was just glad that he had been the one to catch this rather than Aang or Toph, they were too young to be involved in this. 

Sokka left his dad in his thoughts to go find Zuko. He should be done with training for the day and it isn’t mealtime so he would be alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko had been meditating in the afternoon sun nearby. He heard someone approach but he didn’t want to be bothered so he ignored it. Someone sat down next to him and after a couple of seconds, he realized they weren’t going anywhere so he opened his eye. He was aggravated that not only did they interrupt his meditation but they sat on his left side so in order to see or hear them properly he had to turn his head. 

“What do you want?” Zuko snapped before realizing who it was. Sokka sat next to him, he looked like he was deep in thought. “Oh, it’s you…” Zuko said upon realizing who it was. “What do you need?”

Sokka sat there for a second still thinking before starting “I’m really sorry about last night Zuko, I should’ve been more observant and not woken you.” He flushed almost the same shade of red Zuko had when he mentioned last night. Zuko had been acting as normal as he could around the others, but every time he was near Sokka he blushed furiously.

“Uh. It’s okay I guess.” Zuko said awkwardly. “It might’ve been worse if you had, you barely stopped me from making a mess.” Somehow he managed to turn a darker shade of red upon realizing what he just admitted. He quickly turned away from Sokka’s stare.

Sokka didn’t know what to do with this new information. He seems to find his anger from last night more and more justified. He thought he was just upset about waking him, but he had woken him just before he had gotten the chance to cum. “Yeah… Sorry about that. Did you- Did you ever sort yourself out?” He said before blushing almost as red as his blood itself. He shouldn’t have asked that. 

“Uhh. Y-Yeah, I did.” Zuko replied. He knew he’d much rather be honest. He didn’t like lying, but he knew if he didn’t reply Sokka would have his answer anyways. He could’ve lied regardless, but he didn’t want this conversation to continue with awkward apologies either. He wanted to go climb into his bed and pretend none of this ever happened. He managed to ask a question before he went completely mute. “D-Did you tell anyone about what happened?” He was dying to know so he knew who to avoid.

“Kinda,” Sokka said, he continued upon seeing Zuko’s face. “I told my dad about the rotation and that I woke you up at an awkward time and asked if I should apologize, but I’m not sure how much he caught on.” He didn’t want the firebender to think that he went and gave his father all the details of the situation. 

“Okay. We’ll find out how much he knows based on his reaction next time he looks at me.” Zuko says wishing he had told literally anyone else. 

Sokka decided to get all the awkward questions out of the way if Zuko would let him. “Can I ask you a question Zuko?” He hoped that he would say yes because his curiosity would force him to ask again at a later time, and he didn’t want any more weird conversations. “Or rather a few questions.”

“Sure I guess. Can’t guarantee that I’ll answer though.” he said. He had an idea as to what he wanted to ask and wasn’t sure if he would be able to answer without ruining a friendship. 

Sokka was surprised he even said he could ask so he took advantage of it. “Okay, first question. What were you dreaming about? I’m not going to be upset if you don’t answer by the way.” He didn’t want to pressure the prince into anything. 

“Couldn’t you tell? I thought it was pretty obvious.” Zuko said, knowing full well that he didn’t mean it in that way.

“I meant detailss Zukoo” Sokka whined. He was beyond curious and was frankly looking for something to fuel his next solo session. He wasn’t going to push if he said no, but until he did, he was definitely going to try to get him to open up. 

“Yeah… Not going to happen Sokka.” Zuko mumbled as his blush returned again. “Next question please” He added. 

“Finee. Second question, what on earth caused it to happen? Don’t you ever, you know, take care of it before it gets to that point?” Sokka asked. He had been wondering this since the first night he heard the whimpers from his nightmares. He had noticed that he never jerked off, at least to his knowledge. 

“Ummm. Not really, not since the first night of the rotation. I was too uncomfortable doing it knowing someone was right outside, and I didn’t want to chance being caught in the day.” Zuko replied honestly. He hadn’t realized that it would be noticed that he wasn’t masturbating, but he supposed that’s better than being caught doing it. “Why do you ask?” He added realizing he was curious now too. 

Sokka didn’t expect him to ask anything but was more than willing to answer if it meant that he wouldn’t stop talking. “I seem to have a problem with my curiosity taking control of my actions. I know I deal with my own problems almost daily and had noticed that you never seemed too. Not to mention that you’re the only other dude I have to compare to. Aang is too young for this stuff and I can’t talk to my dad for obvious reasons.” He had never told his dad about any of his teenage issues because he didn’t want his father to think he was unable to control his hormones. 

Zuko was stunned, he had assumed he was judging him, but it seemed as if he was actually worried about his own habits. “Uh, yeah. I used to deal with my problems as you so eloquently put it, almost daily. But with someone outside, I just couldn’t. It had become a real problem some days though. Someone would’ve found out if I hadn’t had years of hiding it in public, being a prince and all.” He said. He had noticed Sokka’s boner quite a few times since he got here, along with him sneaking off for up to an hour at a time. He had almost caught Sokka once but avoided the area upon hearing noises. 

“You know, you could’ve done it on my rotation, I have horrible hearing and never would’ve noticed. I always knock when you have nightmares unless you’re screaming because I didn’t want to interrupt any of your “private” time.” Sokka said. He hoped that it would make Zuko feel better and keep him from waiting that long next time. The only time he had ever had wet dreams is when he went too long without relief during the day. 

“I-I tend to be kind of loud…” He said while blushing again. He never wanted to admit it, but he was always loud, the quietest he had ever been is whimpering. 

“Oh” Was Sokka’s only response. “Are you ready for the next question?” Sokka asked after a small pause. He wanted to say more to try and comfort the bender, but he was trying to avoid the tightness he feels in his abdomen at the thought of Zuko moaning and writhing while touching himself. 

“Sure, go ahead.” Zuko replied, not sure what his next question could possibly be. Hadn’t Sokka asked everything he wanted to?

“How do you hide it so well? If I had waited for two weeks before I came, I would spend the entirety of the second week hard as a rock.” Sokka was genuinely curious about this. He had hoped for some pointers from Zuko if he was being honest. He wasn’t looking forward to another awkward conversation with Aang or teasing from Katara. 

“Doesn’t every guy know how to hide it?” Zuko asked honestly. “I’ve been taught how to hide myself since my first erection at 11.” It was the truth, the royal family couldn’t show any signs of weakness, which included bodily functions. He was taught comfortable ways to hide himself without it showing while soft or hard, he was even taught ways to hold his bladder and bowels for extended periods of time. 

“My dad wasn’t really around during the early years when I would’ve learned that stuff, and the rest of the men were with him fighting the fire nation.” Sokka said, with a sad look coming across his face. 

“That sucks.” Zuko stated plainly. “My dad never taught me anything either. I was taught by an etiquette tutor. We couldn’t show our bodily functions because they were a sign of weakness. I can try to teach you what I know if you want.” Zuko offered.

Sokka spoke up immediately. “I’d love that. I really don’t want to end up having another awkward conversation with Aang or get teased by Katara again if I’m honest. I usually don’t have to worry about hiding it, but it seems to be becoming more of an issue lately.” Sokka cringed after mentioning his last conversation with Aang about why his ‘dangle’ was hard. 

“Alright, but I’m not going to give any demonstrations.” Zuko said, blushing at the thought of demonstrating. Sokka nodded and Zuko delved into an explanation.

Sokka paid close attention and at the end of Zuko’s explanation, he started to get up before deciding to say something. “You might want to start taking care of your issues more often before someone else ends up catching you in a situation like that. Katara said this morning that she was going to join the rotation.” Sokka decided to make the prince an offer before finally leaving. “If you want, I can give you about an hour after everyone goes to sleep before I come over for nightmare watch on my shift. That way you have a chance every few days to deal with the ‘issues’. It should prevent another situation with one of the others.”

Zuko sat uncomfortably for a few minutes contemplating what he should respond with. He ultimately decided that it would be best for his general sanity to accept the offer. “Uh. Yeah, sure I guess.” He replied awkwardly. 

Sokka had gotten his answer and decided to take a double night since Katara wanted to join the rotation. It would give them a baseline. He left afterward and went straight to the campfire hoping to tell everyone before they went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far. I'm starting to really enjoy writing for you guys almost as much as I write for myself. All of the comments and support just makes me want to write more. I put the text through a grammar program but still refuse to read it through for fear of hating it. Please feel free to point out if there are any mistakes. New chapter being written now. X)


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka has made his offer and now Zuko decides if he going to accept or not. Zuko finds some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is really short. It was either this or ridiculously long. I'll post another one in a few minutes so you can keep reading. Hopefully you enjoy my version of Zuko's backstory.

That night when Sokka went to watch over Zuko again. As he got to the room he remembered the reason why he was there for a second night. He knocked softly on his door waiting for a response. He was surprised that rather than a mumbled ‘Come in’ Zuko actually came to the door. 

When Sokka had knocked on the door he was immediately reminded of what was about to happen. He decided to face it head-on and got up to answer the door. “Hey.” He said awkwardly as he opened the door. He gestured for Sokka to come in. 

“So…” Sokka started before deciding to face this head-on rather than beat around the bush. “Fuck it. We both know what’s going to happen today so I’m just gonna get it over with, I’m not any more comfortable with this than you are.” He said bluntly. He quickly noticed the growing blush on the older boy’s face. “I’m going to go to my room and sort out a few things, I’ll be back in an hour. Do what you need to do.” He said and then abruptly left the room before the prince could see his blush. 

Zuko stood uncomfortably still. He knew what he was supposed to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it with Sokka knowing what he was doing. He sat down on his bed uncomfortably before ultimately deciding to go to sleep. 

Sokka came back after a little over an hour having managed to distract himself from what was going on in Zuko’s room towards the end. He was baffled by the fact that every time he thought of his friend his pants grew a little tighter. He was not gay. At least that’s what he chanted to himself every time his friend entered his mind. 

Little did Sokka know when he came back to Zuko’s door, he would have been asleep for the last hour. He busied himself with his maps before his mind could wander. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning was a little less awkward for Zuko, mainly because he hadn’t done anything the night before other than sleep, but he still blushed a little when he caught Sokka’s gaze. He realized quickly that he was falling for his best friend, and he was falling hard at that. 

This thought made Zuko feel ashamed to be alive. From a young age, it had been drilled into his head that being a homosexual was wrong. His mother was the only person who ever allowed him to be himself. His father had thought that even feeding the turtleducks in the pond was too feminine and had banned him from doing that as soon as he had suspected his eldest child was gay. In hindsight, if Zuko had been a little better at hiding his feminine side, his father might’ve been a little better to him, but he was never good at hiding it. 

Zuko had learned early on in his banishment to do that though, on a ship full of men, it was obvious to them that he was gay. He blushed when he was caught staring and always managed to get himself in trouble trying to hide it. He refused to be feminine on a ship surrounded by burly men who were the opposite of him. 

The day before the Agni Kai was the most furious he had ever seen his father. Sure he had been hit and burned before, but he always deserved it. His father had hit him whenever he was less than nice to Azula, which he knew he deserved for being mean, and he got burned when he didn’t do well in school, but he also deserved that because he was being a disappointment. But the day his father walked in on him kissing one of the servant boys, he was sure his father was going to murder him on the spot. 

He hadn’t meant to kiss the boy, it just kind of happened. The boy was cute and was the only one who would ever talk to him when he was bored or upset. He didn’t know what being a homosexual even meant, but he never thought that it was liking a boy. His father had told him that he was going to fight for his right to be a man the next day. He made up a story to tell his people that he had spoken out of turn in a war meeting and was fighting for his honor, but he knew the truth. 

The next day, Zuko stood in the fighting ring, and as soon as his father showed his face, he bowed and apologized. He begged his father not to make him fight, he swore that he was his loyal son and that the boy didn’t mean anything. His father reached over and cupped his face. He thought for a second that his father was going to let him live, but he soon realized that he was going to be hurt badly. 

“Zuko,” His father whispered in his ear. “by not fighting you are giving up your right as a man in this family. You have always been too feminine to be one anyways.” His father sneered. And that’s when he felt it, his father’s hand beginning to burn him. It wasn’t bad at first, just uncomfortably warm. Then it happened, he had caught fire, melting his skin, and forcing his eye and ear closed. 

Zuko screamed and cried, but that only made his father heat his hand more. The tears from his burned eye hurt like a thousand suns until his eye was melted shut. He passed out at that point and didn’t wake up until he was on the ship. 

He hated reliving those memories, but he knew that his father could no longer hurt him, at least not while he was with the Gaang. That thought turned his scowl into a small smile. He was safe here. Zuko finished his breakfast happily, enjoying hearing his friends (Shit… he can call them friends now) talking about anything and everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and can't wait to keep writing this. Comments and Kudos accepted and greatly appreciated. <3


	6. Zuko Comes out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko finally tells someone who he is without being attacked. Hakoda wants to get to know the young prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved this chapter as I wrote it. Zuko is so damn awkward and I love it. I can't wait to post the next one. Thanks for reading this far! 
> 
> P.S. If you guys want longer chapters, just tell me in the comments. I struggle with the breaking of chapters, so if I'm making them too short I can definitely break them further along than I am.

Zuko wanted to train with Aang again that day. He had been teaching him some forms, but they had avoided sparring since the last time when he freaked out and refused to talk. He had suggested it at the last practice, but Aang refused to spar until he knew exactly what was going on. Zuko caved today, knowing that both he and Aang needed the practice. 

“Aang, we really really need to start sparring again, it’s the only way you’re going to get any better. The only way either of us is going to get any better.” He stated hoping that Aang would drop the incident from a few days ago. 

“We can spar as soon as you talk to me about what happened the other day.” Aang stated calmly while looking at Zuko with concern.

“It’s really nothing Aang. I’m fine. It won’t happen again.” Even as he said it, he knew that he couldn’t possibly promise him that with what has been going on. “It was a one-time thing.”

“We both know that that’s a lie. You flinched every time I came near you, with or without fire. I can’t ignore it now, and I shouldn’t have ignored it before.” He said. He was going to get his mentor to talk to him one way or another. Aang hated the thought, but Sokka had been right. Zuko was abused. 

“Fine.” Zuko said after a few minutes. He didn’t let Aang say anything else though. He jumped right in. “You can’t tell the others this.” He made Aang promise.

“Okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Aang responded, happy that he was finally going to open up.

“I’m gay.” Zuko said, while mentally reprimanding himself for the opening line. “My father always taught me that it was a horrible crime to be homosexual. I wasn’t allowed to show even the slightest bit of femininity, or I would be burned. I couldn’t say anything rude to Azula or I would be beat, and I couldn’t mess up in class, or I would get another burn on my leg.” Zuko sighed at the end. He really didn’t want to talk about the scar, but he knew he would have to. He let Aang say something before continuing though.

“Zuko. Zuko I- You know we wouldn’t ever hurt you right?” Aang asked after abandoning his initial thoughts. He was horrified that Zuko might think he would hurt him for being himself. “And it’s fine that you’re gay. We don’t mind. Actually, you’d be surprised at how many of us aren’t straight.” Aang finished. He knew he himself was pansexual, as most of the monks were, and he was pretty sure Toph was not entirely female. He knew Sokka thought he was straight, but it was obvious he wasn’t based on the looks he sent Zuko’s way. 

Zuko looked stunned. He had never come out to anyone and had it end well other than the boy that got him burned, and his uncle. He didn’t even come out to his uncle on purpose, he was just fed up with him setting him up on dates with women that he could never ever have feelings for. (Of course, it backfired and he ended up being forced into dates with men, but it was still better than before.) How had it gone so well with Aang?

“Could you elaborate?” Zuko asked after a few minutes of confused silence. He really wanted to know who all wasn’t straight. They had all seemed heterosexual, but he was pretty sure he had the worse gaydar ever because of his father. “Who all isn’t straight?”

“Well, it’s not my place to tell, but I myself am pansexual.” Aang replied as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He quickly noticed the confused look on Zuko’s face and added. “It means I like everyone regardless of their gender identity. I suppose being LGBT isn’t welcomed in the fire nation is it?” Aang asked sadly.

“No, it isn’t. I never really got a chance to look into any of it either. I heard the words, but never got definitions for them.” Zuko said. He was still terribly curious as to who the others were, but he knew that it really wasn’t Aang’s place to tell him. “Will you keep me being gay a secret for now?” He asked. He didn’t think he would be kicked out, but he still didn’t want them to know yet. 

“Yeah, I will. But before we spar, you need to tell me about your scar. I don’t need gory details, and you don’t have to tell me right now, but I’m not going to spar until you do. I don’t want to make anything worse by triggering you again.” Aang said. 

“Okay.” Zuko said. He left a pause long enough that Aang figured he wasn’t going to say anything and started to get up. Before he could, Zuko started speaking. “It was my father. He found me kissing a servant boy and told me to fight for my right to be a man. I refused, he burned me anyways. Next thing I knew I was on a ship and told not to come back until I proved my worth as a man by finding you.” The words all but tumbled out of his mouth. “Can we please spar now?”

Aang looked horrified for a few moments before realizing himself. “Yeah. Yeah, let's spar.” He said trying to make the prince feel better. He offered a hand to him which he gratefully accepted. 

They spent the rest of the morning sparring, and after, Aang was left with his thoughts. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko felt relieved. He had come out to Aang and it wasn’t met with overbearing awkwardness or burn marks. He felt the most comfortable talking with Aang about it because he was a monk. They were fluid people and just let things happen. 

He was significantly more nervous about coming out to the rest of the Gaang. He didn’t know how they would react, and he was most terrified by Katara. He had seen her bloodbend and never wanted it to happen to him. Actually, he was probably more afraid of Hakoda honestly. He was already afraid of fathers in general, let alone what they do when you tell them you’re gay. 

He decided he was only going to come out to them when he was asked, or it made sense to be brought up in conversation. He wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. He was in the middle of this thought when a figure appeared beside him. 

“Hey.” Hakoda said. He wanted to talk to the young prince. It was clear he wasn’t comfortable around him, and he wanted to know why. He had thought it had been about him being new, but he never did warm up to him, and then he suspected it might be an issue with adults. That idea was shot down too when he was fine around Chit Sang. 

Zuko was terrified from the instant he recognized the man. His entire body tensed as he managed to stutter through a hello. “Uhm. Uh. H-Hello sir.” He didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t want to be hurt again. Hakoda wasn’t a bender, but his father didn’t always use bending on him so he knew there were other options.

“You know, you don’t have to call me sir.” Hakoda said with a chuckle. He reached out to pat Zuko on the back but thought better of it when he saw how badly he flinched at the raised hand. He immediately got a sinking feeling and he thought he finally understood why he didn’t like being around him. 

“S-Sorry sir-I mean, Hakoda.” Zuko hated himself for this. He was being a failure like his father always said he was. He couldn’t even make it through one sentence with the man. He waited patiently for the blow that always came when he messed up. It never did. 

Hakoda noticed the way the boy seemed to be waiting for a hit when he messed up. He decided to try and talk to the boy in a comforting manner so he didn’t seem as dangerous. “It’s alright Zuko. I’m not mad. But I would like to know if I’ve done anything to offend you. I noticed that you seem to avoid me and flinch anytime I move towards anyone.” He stated as calmly as possible.

“N-No sir. Crap, Hakoda.” He corrected after screwing up again. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry if I’ve come across as unwelcoming.” He said quickly trying to avoid the inevitable blow to the face. Once again, it didn’t come. Zuko was starting to get confused. 

“It’s okay, really. We can talk more later. I’ll leave you alone for now.” Hakoda said. He had realized that Zuko was getting more afraid, rather than more at ease while talking to him. He would be sure to make it through to the young man before they parted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I appreciate all of the kudos and comments you guys leave. I'm working on more now. <3


	7. Chapter 6, Part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I kinda fucked up. This was supposed to be part of the last chapter but I couldn't get it to fit, but it also doesn't make sense in the next one. Hope you enjoy it and the next chapter will be up in a few minutes.

That night Zuko laid alone in his room. He couldn’t sleep after what all had happened today. Besides, tonight was Katara’s first night on watch, he didn’t want to make it difficult for her. 

She had said before he went into his room that she would probably doze off, but she was a light sleeper so she wouldn’t sleep through any noises. That made Zuko feel slightly better about letting her keep watch. He hated keeping any of them awake. 

His mind kept going back to his father, and the conversation he had with Hakoda. He felt so worthless at that moment. He had fucked up bad when talking to the man, and he found out that he had been worse at hiding his apprehension towards the man than he thought. He hadn’t felt like this in a while, but he decided to give in. 

On nights when he was exhausted he used one of his dao blades, but on nights like this, he just used his firebending. Zuko was angry at himself, he hated the way he had handled the last few weeks and he gave in. Pulling up his pant leg, he put one finger on his shin. He felt it heat up just to the point of burning. He left it there, waiting for it to hurt. It seemed to hurt less and less the more he did it, but it still hurt enough. He left about 10 new burns on each of his legs before he went to sleep. 

Zuko had been doing this for years, he knew he had old scars from his father to hide behind. It always worked as long as he didn’t show pain. He never took his pants off anyway, so it wasn’t an issue with being seen. He hadn’t done it since a couple days after getting here. He was glad that he didn’t feel the need with the Gaang, but the thought was always there. 

His sleep was somewhat peaceful that night. His only dreams were those few nightmares that don’t leave him waking the others. Dreams of lonely nights, and painful burns. He never once cried out during those. Burns and cuts were just a part of his life at this point. 

He hoped that the Gaang would never notice his depression, it made him weak and worthless. He wasn’t even worth the worry that they would undoubtedly send his way.


	8. The Second 'Incident' Katara Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko fucked up by not taking Sokka's opportunity, now he has to deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is once again a little short, but it doesn't fit well with the jump in subject to the next. Hope you enjoy this poor boy's humiliation. <3

Zuko still had yet to take Sokka up on his offer. He never failed to leave an extra hour after everyone went to sleep for him to actually take the offer, but he didn’t. It was too awkward. 

Sokka gave him another chance the night before and he almost took his chance, but as soon as he started he realized he just couldn’t with Sokka being aware. He rolled over to sleep still hard and prayed that he wouldn’t have another dream about the water tribe boy. 

Thankfully he didn’t have any dreams at all that night, but he was afraid of the next night as well. He spent the whole day half erect and unsure of what the night was to bring. Katara had finally accepted him as a friend since her second night on rotation. He had woken up sobbing because of another nightmare, and Katara came and just sat with him. She didn’t touch, or ask to talk about it, she just sat with him. He was grateful and thanked her when she left a couple hours later. He really didn’t want to make it awkward with her. 

That night, he did end up having a wet dream. He woke shortly after orgasming and realized that Katara never woke him up. He was very very grateful that she said she was going to sleep. It meant that he had a chance of sneaking past her. He figured he hadn’t made any noises, because she had always been good at waking up when he did. 

Zuko had made noises actually. Katara had woken up but didn’t act right away because she was still half asleep. Right as she was about to go get him up, she heard him start talking. She heard him beg, but it wasn’t for his attacker to stop. She flushed bright red at that realization. She simply tried to go back to sleep and pretend it didn’t happen. 

As much as Katara wanted to, she couldn’t ignore the sounds. He was loud but she also knew how angry her brother was the last time she woke him from one of his pleasant dreams. She was about to go to her room when she heard a particularly loud moan that sounded oddly like Sokka’s name, followed by a mumbled “shit” and shuffling in the room. 

Zuko had made quick work of gathering his soiled blanket pants and undergarments. He put on a clean pair of boxers and sleep pants, and walked down to the nearby stream to clean them. He prayed to Agni that Katara would stay asleep as his door creaked. 

At that very moment, Katara made the decision to have fun with this. “Hey Zuko.” She said. “Did I miss a nightmare?” She asked. Before she noticed that he had bundled everything. She hadn’t expected him to clean everything that night. 

“Uh. N-No you didn’t. You can go back to sleep” He said, hoping desperately that she would forget she saw him by morning. 

Katara decided to make him as uncomfortable as he had made her. “Did-Did you wet the bed?” She asked, her voice dripping with fake concern. Zuko’s face went through about five different emotions and then went bright red.

“No!” He exclaimed. He hadn’t thought that she was going to go there. He wasn’t sure if the alternative was better or worse. “J-Just go back to sleep Katara.” He said. He desperately wanted her to go back to sleep. 

“What happened then? Why else would you wash your sheets?” She asked innocently. She really wanted to see him squirm. 

“Nothing happened. It was just a dream.” Zuko said hoping she would drop it. 

“A dream?” Katara said, faking confusion and innocence. “Oh. That kind of dream.” She said, pretending to have just caught on. Zuko turned a brilliant shade of red that was visible in the dim moonlight. 

“Uh. Yeah.” That’s all Zuko managed to say before scrambling away to the creek.

He washed his stuff with his mind racing. Now two people know about the fact that he can’t control his hormones. Hopefully, he doesn’t have to have an awkward conversation with Katara like he did Sokka. It was at this moment that he decided he had to start taking Sokka up on his offer. He couldn’t go through this with the younger ones. Aang would have a million questions, and Toph would just make fun of him. 

When he returned to his room Katara was asleep, or at least pretending to be for his sake. He fell into an uneasy sleep after that, but there were no nightmares. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Katara dropped the subject and pretended it never happened. The only one who was uncomfortable with it was Zuko. Katara had long since become used to Sokka’s dreams because she shared a room with him through his early teen years before he discovered ways to prevent them. It was uncomfortable at the moment, but it was fine afterward. 

The only thing was, she couldn’t put his climax out of his mind. She swears that she had heard Zuko moan Sokka’s name. Was he gay? Did he have a crush on Sokka? How would that even work? Sokka was straight as far as she knew. She immediately felt bad for Zuko. If he did have a crush and Sokka was straight it would hurt. She’s fallen for a gay guy before and it sucked. 

She didn’t know what to do. She felt like she needed to find out the whole story now. Maybe this had something to do with why Sokka and Zuko were so awkward around each other that one day. Had he had another wet dream while Sokka was there? Had he heard the same thing she did? Her mind was swirling with possibilities now, but she decided to leave it be. She would have a talk with the prince eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter is going up asap. Comments and Kudos appreciated. <3


	9. Zuko needs love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is caught hurting himself, what will happen when everyone finds out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some serious trigger warnings in place here. I hope I did a decent job at representing a breakdown, I only really have my own to base Zuko's off of. Sorry if this offends, and apologies for its long length, but thank's for reading. <3

That evening, Zuko lay watching the stars. Everyone else had gone to sleep, and somehow even Aang had managed to fall asleep while he snuck away. He felt like he did on the ship with his uncle, having to sneak out at night and all. He couldn’t sleep, he wanted to think but he could hear Aang snores, and his room felt confining. 

The Gaang didn’t mind if Zuko couldn’t sleep and went out, but whoever was on watch usually followed him and tried to get him to talk. He just wanted to be alone at the moment to think. Just think about everything. He realized that he hadn’t had a full nightmare in a long time. He never managed to reach the most terrifying point of them when he would scream. He doesn’t think Hakoda even knows how bad they are. 

After that last thought, what Sokka said came tumbling back to him. Not only was Zuko making a horrible impression on Hakoda on his own, he now knows how horrible he is at controlling his body. Sokka had told him. That thought alone made him think of hurting himself. He didn’t, not yet at least, but he thought about it. 

He wasn’t sure how much Sokka had heard. He never told him what all he said in his sleep, but he prayed to Agni that he never said his name. How the hell did he manage to not wake Katara if he had been loud enough with Sokka that he thought it was a nightmare? Maybe she was a heavier sleeper than she said. But that wouldn’t make any sense, she had woken up to the smallest sounds at the beginning of his nightmares. 

Zuko went back to basic logic trying to figure this out. He started with the facts. Katara was a light sleeper. She woke up at the smallest sounds from his nightmares. Katara also didn’t seem to know what happened when he left his room. He had made enough noise for Sokka to think it was a nightmare. The pieces didn’t seem to fit together. She had to have heard him. His dreams were never quiet. 

All of a sudden, a horrible thought hit him. What if she had heard him? What if she was just playing it up to make it seem like she didn’t know. That worried him. She had an older brother, and they shared a room, she had to have heard things from Sokka at some point. What if she was just doing it for his sake?

Zuko shook these thoughts from his head before he spiraled again. He decided that he was going to practice his firebending for a while to try and tire himself out. Somewhere in the middle of this practice, his mind wandered again. Before he knew it he was on the ground spiraling. 

Zuko didn’t know what to do. He was failing at everything. Hell, he couldn’t even sleep right. He didn’t cry. He hasn’t cried other than from nightmares in almost four years. This wasn’t a nightmare, so he simply did what he knew. He punished himself. He used his swords this time because he was too tired for more firebending. 

Three long cuts were made on his upper thigh, he figured if his burns got seen he could pretend it was an accident, but cuts, cuts weren’t so easy. He made a few more on that leg before switching to the other. Little did he know, Aang had woken up and realized Zuko wasn’t in his room. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Aang had woken not long after Zuko had left, but it took him a while longer to realize he wasn’t in his room. He finally figured it out after hearing firebending not far away. He decided to take a closer look. 

He assumed the older boy had trouble falling asleep that night and wanted to burn off some extra energy, and if he wasn’t so tired he might’ve joined him. Instead, he sat quietly and watched. Something about the firebender seemed off though, he was distracted and soppy compared to normal. 

Aang watched as the prince seemed to give up on his firebending and sit down. He was about to go over to him and sit with him before the teen started to shake. He looked like he was about to cry. As much as he wanted to comfort the firebender, Aang felt like this was a private moment that he shouldn’t be a part of. 

Zuko had gotten up and was making a move towards his swords. Aang got up too, assuming he was going back to his room to sleep, but instead of grabbing them and leaving, the prince grabbed one and sat back down. Aang just watched unsure of what was about to happen. 

Aang watched as Zuko pulled up his left pant leg all the way. Zuko was still shaking and made three long cuts on his leg. Aang was shocked and didn’t know what to do. He wanted to tell the boy to stop but he seemed to have lost the ability to speak. He watched in horror as the boy added a few more cuts on that leg and almost started on the other. 

Upon seeing Zuko lifting his other leg, he found his words again. “Zuko! Zuko stop!” Aang all but shouted. He ran over to the older boy not entirely aware of his actions. 

Zuko looked stunned and ashamed. Shit, he thought. He didn’t hear Aang come over. “It’s not what it looks like.” Zuko said as calmly as he could as he pulled his pant legs back down. He hoped that the blood wasn’t obvious on his pants and dao. 

“Zuko.” Aang started. He didn’t know what he was seeing, or why it was happening so he just let himself talk without thinking. “Zuko, why? Why would you do this to yourself?” Aang sounded so distraught. 

Zuko filled with shame. He wanted nothing more than to punish himself for what had happened. “I didn’t do anything” Zuko lied, hoping that Aang wouldn’t question it. 

Aang saw right through it and without saying anything set his blade aside and set to looking at his legs. “Zuko.” he said sadly upon seeing all of the damage on his body. “How long have you been hurting yourself?” Aang asked. Some of the scars looked to be well over three years old, and he remembered what he said about his father. 

“Not long.” He lied again. “Most of the scars are from my father” he tried to brush Aang off and recover his legs, but he wouldn’t budge. “I deserved every one of my scars, burns, and cuts Aang.” He stated honestly. 

Aang felt his heart shatter at that. His friend thought he deserved this, he was doing this to himself as punishment. “Zuko, you need to look at me and listen to me hard.” Aang said. He didn’t continue until Zuko made eye contact. “You didn’t deserve any of this. You never did. You have made up for it time and time again. Please, please for the love of all the spirits, stop doing this to yourself.” Aang pleaded. He wanted the other boy to understand that none of what happened to him was his fault. He couldn’t hold back anymore and just hugged the boy as tight as he could. 

Zuko was stunned. He did deserve it didn’t he? He had been such a horrible person to them all, he wasn’t normal, and he kept fucking up. He did deserve it. But then Aang dragged him into a hug. He tried to resist at first, but he just couldn’t. He melted into the hug and just sobbed. He had been holding back tears for too many years of his life. 

Both boys sat in that position until Zuko stopped crying. Aang’s legs had started to hurt, and he was sure that his arm was falling asleep, but he refused to move until Zuko stopped crying. When he finally did and Aang pulled away, Zuko didn’t expect to miss the touch as much as he did. 

“You ready to go back to bed?” Aang asked Zuko. He only nodded in reply and stood up. They returned to their spots from before, and Zuko passed out as soon as he hit his bed. He was too tired for nightmares. 

~~~~~~~~~~

That morning Zuko canceled bending practice. He normally couldn’t sleep after the sun came up, but he just couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. He didn’t go to breakfast and the Gaang took the opportunity to ask questions. 

“What happened last night Aang?” Katara asked. “I heard you yelling at Zuko to stop.”

“Yeah, I think we all heard it.” Sokka said, and Toph nodded in response. 

“Well…” Aang started not sure where to start. “I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.” Aang proceeded to tell them all of the events from the night before. He felt helpless when it came to Zuko and he just wanted to make sure the boy was okay. He checked on Zuko in the morning before practice and Zuko just told him to take the morning off. 

After telling everyone and them not believing him (other than Toph who could clearly tell he was telling the truth) he took them back to where it happened. His dao was still there with a small amount of blood on it, and there were a few drops on the ground. He had gone to sleep before he collected his things. When they finally believed him they knew they had to make a plan. 

It was only Katara, Aang, Toph, and Sokka who knew. Chit Sang and Hakoda slept in and Zuko didn’t show for breakfast. They went back to their food and started planning. 

They didn’t get farther than the idea of taking his swords before the adults joined them and they had to stop talking. Hakoda looked unhappy that they all stopped talking when he got there but he didn’t think anything of it, nor did he think anything of Zuko not being at breakfast. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hakoda was completely lost when dinner came around and he realized that Zuko hadn’t been at a meal since lunch yesterday. He skipped dinner in favor of swimming. He decided to set out looking for Zuko since none of the others seemed too interested in finding him. 

He looked in all of the places he would expect Zuko to be other than his room. He didn’t want to intrude if he was hiding away unless he had to. After looking everywhere he could possibly think of he finally admitted defeat and went to the boy’s room. 

Hakoda knocked softly hoping that he wouldn’t scare the boy. He didn’t like how he reacted last time, and he hoped that he would be able to put him at ease this time. 

Before he knocked again and gave up, he heard a soft sniffling. Zuko was crying. He had never seen the boy show any emotion other than fear and occasional happiness, the rest of the time his face was unreadable. He heard shuffling in the room and soon the door opened. 

Zuko had cleaned his face. The only visible way to see that he had been crying was the redness to his good eye. He looked around the room and realized that he hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. His clean clothes were still folded neatly, his bed unmade, and most obvious of all, the boy was still in nothing other than pajama pants. 

Zuko tensed as soon as he saw who it was. What could he possibly want with him? Maybe he was there to yell at him for not being with the group, or maybe he was upset that he hadn’t left his room. He prepared himself for some form of assault, whether that be physical or verbal. Nothing happened though. When he realized Hakoda was waiting for him to speak he simply went to his bed and mumbled “You can come in.” before he could regret it. 

Hakoda stepped inside his room and thought carefully about what he was going to say next. “Are you okay? You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday and you haven’t left your room today.” Hakoda asked. It seemed safe, he wasn’t angry, and he didn’t ask what was going on. It was a simple question.

“I’m fine sir.” Zuko said without any hesitation. It sounded like this phrase was common to him as if he had said it a million times. The thought made his heart ache. Hakoda decided right then and there that this boy was his child, just the same as he had done with Toph and Aang. 

“You’re not fine though.” He said hoping the boy would open up. He got the opposite reaction, the prince tensed even more and shifted uncomfortably. When he shifted, however, Hakoda noticed something alarming. “You’re bleeding through your pants.” He said. He was unsure what could’ve caused that much blood to spill from his leg. 

“It’s nothing.” Zuko said, hoping that he would drop it. He moved again to hide it from his sight. 

“I’m going to get Katara.” he said before exiting. He hoped he was doing the right thing, but at this point that didn’t matter. The boy was hurt and needed healing. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After Katara had healed Zuko, Hakoda wanted to reprimand her. She clearly knew the boy was hurt and didn’t do anything about it. He was just about to, but when he saw the look on her face he realized that there was more to the story than he was being told. He would have to find out on his own. 

Hakoda decided the best option was to try to talk to Aang. He was the one on nightmare watch when it would’ve happened. Hopefully, he would have more information. 

He found the boy sitting by the fountain practicing waterbending alone. “Hey, can I ask you something Aang?” He asked before sitting next to him. The boy stopped waterbending and gave him his full attention. 

“Sure, I’m all ears.” He said jokingly while pulling on his own ears. 

Hakoda let out a small chuckle at Aang’s goofiness, he was glad that even under all this stress, he could still be the kid that he was. “Do you know what happened to Zuko last night? He was bleeding this morning and I’m getting worried. He won’t talk to me and I’m not entirely sure why.” He said.

“Oh…” Aang said. He didn’t think it was his place to tell him everything, but Hakoda was an adult, and he deserved to know what was happening. “I think I can tell you parts, but I can’t tell you all of it without breaking his trust.” the boy said honestly. 

The chief understood that it wasn’t Aang’s story to tell but he still needed to know some things. “Okay. Tell me what you can, I want to be able to help the boy.” He said honestly. 

“From what I know and can tell you, Zuko is really depressed. He’s found a way to make everything his fault. His father is an abusive man, and I can’t tell where his father’s scars stop, and his own start. Last night was a bad night apparently. I caught him cutting his leg with one of his dao swords. He had a few burns on his legs that looked to be less than a week old too.” Aang said. “That’s really all I can tell you, but there’s a lot more that I haven’t said.” 

Hakoda had his worst suspicions confirmed. Zuko was abused by his father, which is probably why he was so afraid around him. “I understand. I’ll have to talk to him and try to get him to understand that I’m not like his father. We need to keep a closer eye on that boy to make sure nothing else happens to him.” He said. 

Everyone knew they had to help Zuko one way or another, but none of them knew how. The boy had firebending, they could take away his dao, but that’s as much as they could do. If Zuko hid in his room all day, they couldn’t prevent him from burning himself, and they couldn’t keep him from his room without taking away his freedom. 

That evening was spent in silence. Not too long after his talk with Aang, everyone went to sleep. Toph was in charge of Zuko tonight and she knew what was happening so hopefully, she could prevent him from hurting himself more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, I was kinda in a bad headspace when writing this if you can't tell, but I should have more lighthearted stuff up soon. Thank you to everyone who has left comments or kudos so far, they're all appreciated. <3


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph and Sokka try to comfort Zuko after one of his nightmares, this leads to an awkward morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only fair to you guys that I tell you some things that are going on. I feel really bad about not posting the last few days, but there is a reason. My mother has been off of work for the last couple weeks because my dad passed away earlier this month. Because of his recent passing, my already shaky mental health has gone to complete shit. I was not stable enough to be left alone for more than a few hours before he passed, but at this point, I am no longer able to be left alone at all. I am staying at my grandparent's house when she is at work to prevent me from doing something stupid, but they live in the middle of nowhere with no service, and the internet connection over wifi is too unstable to edit and post without risking losing all progress. I am not looking for sympathy, but I felt as though I should mention this so everyone knows that I will not be posting as much as I want to. I will try to post two or three chapters when I am home, but I make no promises. Please forgive the inconvenience and enjoy the next couple of chapters that I post. <3

Zuko’s nightmares were bad that night. Probably due to Hakoda showing up in his room. He was apparently quiet for the night until he screamed. Toph came running in to try and help him, but he had woken everyone up. 

No one had heard a screaming nightmare since the rotation started, so they thought he was hurt. Everyone ran to his room to help. They didn’t expect to see Zuko curled up in a ball in the corner like the first time he screamed in his sleep, but here they were. Sokka and Toph sent everyone back to bed. 

Sokka was the one who tried to talk to him, and Toph just held him in a tight hug. She was the only one who could touch him during one of his panic attacks, and Sokka was the best at calming him after one. They worked together to calm the boy and get him to talk. Eventually, he was calm enough that he wasn’t hyperventilating. 

“What happened tonight Toph?” Sokka asked. He hadn’t had one like this in a long time, they always woke him up before this point. 

“I-I don’t know. He didn’t make any noise beforehand, and he wasn’t thrashing in his bed like normal. I didn’t even know he was having a nightmare until he screamed.” Toph said uncomfortably. She felt like she had failed the boy who had become her older brother. 

Zuko hated being touched. Well, that’s not exactly true, he loved it, but he knew he didn’t deserve it. He refused touch from everyone but Toph. Toph had made it clear that she was going to hug him whether he likes it or not. She could tell he liked being hugged, but she didn’t tell the other because she didn’t want him upset with her. 

When Zuko had finally calmed down enough to speak he was leaning into Toph exhausted. “S-Sorry.” Was all he managed to choke out. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Dude, stop fucking apologizing. It’s not your fault.” Sokka said. He was annoyed that the teen was blaming himself for this. He wanted to hug him, but he knew better. Besides, Toph was already hugging him. He settled on asking Zuko if he wanted to talk about it. 

“No, I’m fine. You all can go back to bed.” Zuko replied. He really did want to go to sleep, but he also wanted to talk. He settled on sending them away so he could get back in bed. He was surprised when they didn’t listen.

“We aren’t going anywhere Sparky.” Said Toph. “You don’t have to talk to us, but we’re staying.” She wasn’t going to leave the boy alone after a nightmare that bad. Sokka nodded in agreement before grabbing Zuko’s blanket. 

Sokka sat down on the other side of Zuko and draped the blanket over the three of them. “We’re here for you, not ourselves,” he said. He began rubbing small circles on his back, and he didn’t pull away this time. He was glad that the prince was accepting comfort.

Not long after, Toph fell asleep. Shortly after her falling asleep, Zuko fell asleep on top of her. Finally, after Zuko was asleep, Sokka let himself drift off as well. Zuko didn’t have any more nightmares that night, he would never admit it, but with the two of them there, his dreams were actually happy ones for once. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko was the first one awake the next morning. He blushed furiously when he realized that he had fallen asleep in that position. He quickly realized that he couldn’t move without waking the other two. He hadn’t decided if it would be better or worse to get up and risk waking them or be caught awake when the others wake on their own. 

He spent too much time thinking and missed his opportunity. Sokka woke up next and he too blushed at the situation. Sokka had fallen asleep against the wall but ended up curled around Zuko at some point in the night. Zuko was sure of one thing, he was far more okay with Toph clinging to his side than Sokka. The longer Sokka was there the worse his problem became. 

Zuko couldn’t do anything but thank Agni for the memory of his uncle in the hot springs, and for the young girl clinging to his other side. When Sokka finally woke enough to move from his position, he seemed to scramble away from him. Zuko felt a small pang of disappointment at the loss of heat next to him, but he quickly shut that thought down. 

“Shit. Sorry Zuko.” Sokka said a little too loudly. Both boys flinched as they heard Toph grumble. Thankfully she didn’t wake up though, everyone knew how Toph feels about being woken up early. 

“It’s okay,” Zuko said much quieter. “But maybe keep it down until she wakes on her own huh?” Zuko chuckled at the way Sokka cringed after Toph moved. He didn’t want her to wake anymore than Sokka did, but he was well aware that if she had woke one of them would be in a lot of physical pain before they even noticed. 

“I probably should’ve known that I would end up like that. Katara always complained that I was clingy when I slept.” Sokka continued to blush as he said this. Zuko decided that he wouldn’t mind it one bit under different circumstances. 

Zuko put an end to that thought. It was a dangerous place to be with Sokka only inches away from him and Toph still snuggled into his side. He decided to angle his thoughts towards what had happened. “You really don’t have to apologize. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine. I was the one who had the nightmare and didn’t put you all back to bed when you fell asleep.” Zuko said. Self-hatred was a good place to be. 

“Zuko how could you say that? It was a fucking nightmare, you can’t control them. Not to mention that you were both asleep before I was.” Sokka defended. He said that last part a little louder than he should have, but Toph didn’t wake. She did however, stir and remove her arms from Zuko’s middle. 

The firebender wasn’t sure if he was relieved or more uncomfortable afterwards however. Toph’s hands had ended up in front of her, but her head ended up in Zuko’s lap, right on top of his dick. He didn’t know what to do, if he moved at all, it would end up being more uncomfortable. Sokka seemed to understand what just happened as he cringed. 

“That’s rough buddy,” Sokka said, seeming to forget what Zuko said moments before. He was just staring at the small earthbending girl and thinking about the discomfort Zuko must be in. He wanted to help the firebender, but he wasn’t exactly sure how. 

“You think?” Zuko snapped back, grateful that Sokka didn’t continue his argument. He really hoped that Mr. Plans could figure out how to get Toph off of his lap before she woke. It was somewhat his fault that he was in this situation in the first place. He was once again glad for his uncle in the hot spring. Zuko vaguely wondered when he would stop needing that image, if he ever would. 

“You want some help with that?” Sokka asked. He knew he would end up with a boner regardless of who it was unless it was family, he couldn’t imagine how Zuko wasn’t in a worse position. Maybe he’s gay. Sokka thought. He had no clue why that was on his mind but it was gone as fast as it came. 

“Um. M-Maybe?” Zuko said. He wasn’t sure what kind of help Sokka was offering, but his mind took that offer and spun it in a million different ways. This was decidedly not helping Zuko’s situation. “Y-Yeah I guess.” He needed Toph off of him before she woke, his uncle was not helping him anymore, and he didn’t want her to wake up under any other circumstances. 

“Okay,” Sokka said. He decided to try and pull Toph off of Zuko by his feet, but upon seeing her head shift and hearing the older boy’s gasp he realized that it wasn’t going to work. He went for the more productive but awkward approach with her head. He grabbed her in the only way he could without touching Zuko’s crotch and successfully pulled her off. Unfortunately, he didn’t miss what was in the front of Zuko’s pants before he curled up into a ball. 

Zuko was mortified. There was no other way to put it. He had managed to keep himself from getting hard right up until Sokka tried to move Toph. Her head pressed right into him and he could no longer control his body’s natural reaction. It didn’t help in the slightest that Sokka of all people was the other person in the room with him. 

After Sokka watched the boy curl in on himself he didn’t know what to do. He could try and be comforting, but the firebender was such a dark shade of red that he doubted anything could console him. He settled on just taking Toph to her room and leaving the prince alone. “I’m gonna go put her in her own bed, she’ll wake up on her own soon enough,” he said quietly as he left. 

It took Zuko very little time after they were both gone to get back to normal. He was too embarrassed to be aroused at that point and he just wanted to hide, but he had practice with Aang in about an hour and needed to prepare. He reluctantly went to the training area to start his warm-up before the younger boy woke for training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I will continue to try and upload as much as I can and I might set up a schedule soon so that you guys can see what's going on. I have started a Tumblr so I can update you on posting and stuff like I mentioned before. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aubriravenclaw. Hope you enjoyed reading and will enjoy the chapters to come. <3


	11. The Missing Dao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's dao go missing, and he realizes that maybe these people actually care about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kind comments after the last chapter, I love you all so much and hope you continue to enjoy the story. The next chapter will be up as soon as I finish writing it. <3

Exactly 45 minutes after the Toph incident, Zuko set to waking up Aang. He would’ve waited the extra 15 minutes, but he knew the kid wanted some time to wake up before they started. Zuko set to getting himself ready. After that morning he didn’t think there was a good reason to not take an extra 15 minutes of meditation. 

Zuko lost track of time while meditating. When he finally came around to the world, Aang was beside him meditating as well. He broke the younger boy’s concentration to ask how long he had been meditating. 

“I’m not sure how long you’ve been here, but I’ve been meditating for about 20 minutes.” Aang supplied. They normally only went for about 15 minutes, knowing that they needed to get on with practice, but neither boy seemed to mind. 

“Damn” Zuko muttered under his breath. He didn’t think it had been that long, but somehow he managed to do more than double their time, and not even notice when Aang showed up. He told himself that it was a good thing to be out of his head, but he couldn’t help but feel vulnerable because he could’ve been attacked and not noticed. 

Zuko looks like his mind wandered off, so Aang decided to speak up. “Ready for practice sifu hotman?” Aang knew he hated the name, but being annoyed at that had to be better than his undoubtedly self-deprecating thoughts. 

“Yeah, but I told you not to call me that,” Zuko said in a huff. He wasn’t sure why he hated the nickname, but he knew he did. The name made him feel things that he couldn’t identify, and he wasn’t sure how to handle that. 

Aang and Zuko made quick work of their lesson and sparring session. Zuko was due to spar with Sokka next, but he realized that he couldn’t find his dao. He decided to ask the young airbender before he went looking. “Hey, Aang? Have you seen my dao anywhere?” He knew Aang had been the last one to see him with them, but he wasn’t sure what had happened afterward. 

Aang looked sheepish and Zuko immediately knew something was off. “I kinda hid them from you,” Aang said quietly. The boy wasn’t sure how the prince would react, but he was sure it wouldn’t be good. 

“Why? There was no reason for you to take them.” Zuko said, honestly confused. He hadn’t done anything wrong with them. Ok, yeah, Aang caught him self harming, but his father had once and simply praised him for it. “Glad you finally realized that you need to be hurt you worthless child” Zuko didn’t like remembering those words, but he knew they were true. 

Aang was finally beginning to see how much Zuko was hurting. He thought he realized before, but now he sees that he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. He knew that he shouldn’t do it in front of people, but he didn’t understand that he shouldn’t be doing it at all. “Zuko, you were hurting yourself, I can’t take away your bending, but I can take away one of your other sources of harm,” Aang stated solemnly. He hated that Zuko couldn’t see his worth. 

“But I needed to be punished. I was fucking everything up and I couldn’t do anything right. Sooner or later I would end up being punished for it, and I’d rather the punishment come from myself than someone else.” said Zuko. 

It hurt Aang so much to see the truth in Zuko’s eyes. He believed he needed to be punished for just being alive. He couldn’t do anything to help him other than to keep showing him that he cares. He needs to get Zuko to talk to Hakoda, he needs to see what a good family can look like, and what it means to not be hated. “Zuko, I’m going to give you your dao back for sparring, but you have to promise me some things, ok?” Aang said.

“Ok, I guess,” Zuko replied. It was unclear what was going on in the younger boy’s head so he needed to be careful here. 

“I need you to promise that you’ll give them back after sparring so you can’t hurt yourself with them, I need you to promise that if you feel like hurting yourself you’ll try to come to us, and I need you to promise that you’ll talk to Hakoda soon,” Aang said. He needed the teenager to agree to at least the first one in order to get his dao back, but he wanted to throw in a few more to try and help. 

“I can agree to the first one, I make no promises on the second, but I don’t understand the third. What on earth does Hakoda have to do with this?” Zuko said. Apparently he wasn’t getting his dao today, he knew he couldn’t promise the second one. 

Aang had been expecting this and was quick to answer. “Hakoda is a good father, he is a good man in general, and I think you need a better father figure in your life.” Aang hoped that Zuko would agree to at least talk to the man before he gave up. 

“I guess I could try to talk to him…” Zuko said. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to, but he thinks he wants to try. He hopes that it’s enough to get his dao, but he didn’t promise the last two so he doesn’t think it will be. 

“Okay. I’ll get your swords in a few minutes. The first one was the one that was important, and you said you’d at least try the other two.” Aang says. It was more than he could’ve hoped for and was glad he had mentioned the other two to him before giving him his weapons. 

~~~~~~~~~~

True to his word, Zuko gave his dao back to Aang when the sparring match was over. The thought of not having them near frightened him, but he was happy that someone cared enough to take them away he supposed. 

Knowing he didn’t have his dao his mind unconsciously looked for other ways to punish him. Food has always been his comfort, he used it whenever he was lonely or upset at someone other than himself. His mind decided that it was a good punishment for not hurting himself. 

Quickly after receiving his lunch his mind was plagued with voices telling him he didn’t deserve the food, that he was stealing it from people who needed it. He ended up picking at the food until everyone else was done. This didn’t feel normal, this wasn’t his lack of hunger when he was upset, he just didn’t deserve to be fed. 

Everyone noticed Zuko not eating, but they didn’t say anything. No one wanted to upset the firebender, but it worried them nonetheless. Breakfast was the only meal he had eaten in almost two days, and this seemed different. He had always eaten when food was given, if he didn’t want to eat he just stayed in his room, today he came out and eagerly accepted his meal only to avoid eating altogether. 

When Zuko finally excused himself to his room everyone started asking questions. No one seemed to have an answer, and they went about their day with worry and confusing swirling in their heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this, if you have any ideas or suggestions feel free to send them to me on tumblr (aubriravenclaw). I can't wait to read all of the comments you guys send, and appreciate all of your kudos and kind words. <3


	12. Truth: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko finds out someone else cares about him, and learns about a new game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really really really sorry about this chapter being put up so late. It's been a hell of a week, I was finally cleared by my doctors to get my permit, I finally got my music for this band season, and to top it all off we found a kitten on our back porch. I'll probably be posting pictures of our new kitten on my tumblr (aubriravenclaw) soon. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to read all of the comments.

Sokka was freaking out at this point. Zuko wasn’t at dinner yesterday, he didn’t eat lunch, and he hasn’t been at breakfast or lunch today. He decided that he needed to bring food to the firebender. He would begin to starve soon enough, and he himself knew how much hunger threw off your game. 

He knew everyone else was worried too if the neverending storm of questions thrown at him and Toph was any indication. They had all decided that because him and Zuko were the closest, and he let Toph near him and touch him the most, they had the answers. After quickly confirming to them all that they had no answers, he told them he was going to bring the young prince his food. 

After gathering a large portion of food, Sokka went off towards Zuko’s room. He knocked but when he didn’t get a reply, he went in assuming he had gone to sleep. Upon looking around the room, Sokka realized that the prince wasn’t in his bed. He had half of his body out of the window. 

Zuko hadn’t eaten in days, even though he knew how his body would react. He was hanging out the window vomiting. Well, if you could call it that, all that was coming up was the stomach acid that had been eating away at him from the inside. He hated how his body always fought his mind. He stopped feeling pain when he knows he deserves it, he sleeps when he didn’t earn it, and worst of all so far has to be his stomach turning itself inside out at the lack of food. 

Sokka was stunned to see Zuko throwing up of all things. He hadn’t eaten in days, as far as he knew, vomit was not a normal reaction to lack of food, but he didn’t really know as he had never gone that long without food. He rushed over to the prince and started rubbing his back the way his mother would do when he got sick as a kid. 

If Zuko hadn’t had stomach acid halfway out of his mouth, he would’ve attacked whoever touched him, but because he couldn’t, he found that he didn’t hate it as much as he thought he should. He finally calmed his stomach enough to turn towards the presence that he had yet to put a name to. 

“S-Sorry, Sokka,” Zuko said after realizing who it was. He hadn’t yet noticed the food sitting on his bed, nor had he noticed the concerned look on Sokka’s face. 

“Why do you keep fucking insisting on apologizing for things that aren’t your fault?!” Sokka asked. “Seriously, you haven’t eaten in almost two days, you’re vomiting out your window, and you still feel the need to apologize. It’s ridiculous.” Sokka said.

“Uh. S-” Zuko stopped himself from apologizing again. He had just been thoroughly reprimanded for saying sorry, so apologizing for apologizing didn’t seem like a good idea. In the end, he couldn’t stand the silence so let himself finish his last thought. “Sorry.” 

Zuko wanted to give him reasons for apologizing after such a sign of weakness, but he knew Sokka would win the fight with what he called logical thinking that didn’t end with it’s your fault Zuko like it should have. 

“Are you apologizing for apologizing now jerkbender?” Sokka asked hoping that the joke would brighten the mood. “I brought you some food. You’re probably hungry.” 

Zuko finally saw the food and upon seeing it the smell reached his nose. His body screamed at him to eat, his vomiting from the last hour proves that, but his mind was reminding him that he wasn’t worth it. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly hungry Sokka.” He mumbled. 

“I don’t give a shit if you’re hungry or not, you haven’t eaten in two days, and if you don’t want to eat this I’ll go get you something easier to stomach and force it down your throat,” Sokka said. He knew the firebender was either reacting to hunger in a strange way or was sick, but he still needed to eat something. 

“Sokka, I don’t need anything to eat. I’m not hungry, and if I can’t even manage to go to meals myself, then I don’t deserve food at all.” Zuko said. He hadn’t realized what he had said, but he knew he said something wrong if the water tribe boy’s face was any indication. 

“What do you mean you don’t deserve it? Everyone deserves food, it’s not something that you earn, it’s something that you get for simply being alive. Even your father deserves food Zuko, and that’s saying a lot.” He didn’t want to bring his father into this, but he knew that was one of the only ways he was going to get through to the older teen. 

Zuko was stunned. He didn’t deserve food. He never did anything to earn it, and he knew if he didn’t earn it he couldn’t attend meals. He couldn’t put the pressure of looking bad on anyone if they didn’t feed him. His father had made sure Zuko knew that he wasn’t to come to meals unless he earned it. His father always said that by attending meals he was forcing his father to reward bad behavior because it would look bad if he didn’t feed his son at the family meals. 

“Food is earned Sokka. I know I haven’t earned it, that’s why I don’t go to meals. I can’t pressure you into feeding me if I didn’t earn it. Father always got angry if I made him look bad by not feeding me at family meals.” Zuko said. He immediately realized what he had said and tried to backtrack. “I-I mean- I um.” 

“Your father didn’t feed you unless you earned it?” Sokka asked. Zuko immediately knew he had fucked up and now had to explain everything to him. But this didn’t stop him from trying to backtrack one more time.

“No, that’s not true. I was allowed to eat, I just couldn’t eat the food prepared for me. I learned to cook when I was 5 after getting my firebending because I had to make my meals if I didn’t earn them.” Zuko hoped that Sokka would see that it wasn’t that bad, but the look on the younger boy’s face was enough to know he had to tell him ‘everything’. 

“That’s fucking awful man. No kid should have to make their own meals that young, especially when they have an entire palace of staff to make it for them. I mean, helping family cook is one thing, but leaving a five-year-old to make an entire meal on their own because they didn’t earn it? That’s bullshit.” Sokka felt bad for getting so angry, but he knew what had happened to Zuko was horrible and he felt the need to rant about it. 

“It’s not like I deserved the food that I made either,” Zuko mumbled. He knew everyone in the group ate whether they earned it or not, which is why he had been attending meals even when he didn’t earn it, but not only did he feel like he hadn’t earned it, he now felt like he was a complete failure and needed to be punished. Sokka was bringing him food and insisting he deserved it for just existing. That couldn’t be right. 

“ZUKO!” Sokka exclaimed after hearing what he said. “Dude, seriously, everyone deserves to eat, and I don’t care if it only stays in your stomach for five seconds before you vomit it up, you’re going to eat something.” He knew the older boy needed to be forced to eat, Zuko didn’t look or act particularly sick other than the vomiting so he was sure it was from not eating. “Eat the damn food that I brought, and I don’t trust you to not throw it out when I leave so I’m staying until you eat all of it.”

Zuko was stunned. He didn’t think he deserved any of this, but he knew he had to eat immediately and quickly so he didn’t waste any more of Sokka’s time. Zuko grabbed the bowl and sat on his bed staring at it. He didn’t expect just simply picking up the spoon would be as hard as it was turning out to be. After about 10 minutes of staring at the bowl, he picked up the spoon with shaking hands. He couldn’t waste any more of Sokka’s time if he didn’t want to be more of a burden. 

Sokka saw how badly he was shaking, it looked like he was on the verge of tears, but he didn’t think the firebender realized it yet. “Hey, are you okay dude?” Sokka asked. He was genuinely concerned for the boy and he tried to keep his tone soft. His voice seemed to shake him out of his head. 

“I’m fine. I’m okay, just a little shaky.” Zuko said. After realizing what he said he backtracked. “I-I mean, I’m fine.” He finished. Zuko couldn’t make Sokka think he had to take care of him. He wasn’t going to be a burden. Upon deciding that he wanted to talk to the boy less than he didn’t want to eat, he shoved the spoon into his mouth and swallowed quickly. The food felt amazing going down his throat and into his stomach. He quickly realized he was sitting there for too long after that bite before quickly eating the rest. Well, trying to quickly eat it. 

“Hey man, you need to slow down. The food’s not going anywhere and if you keep eating that fast you’re going to get sick again.” Sokka desperately wanted Zuko to keep his food down, he wasn’t prepared to go to Katara with a sick teenager that she didn’t particularly enjoy being around. He didn’t miss that he said he was shaky but with how quickly he backtracked he was sure he didn’t want to talk about it. 

Zuko most definitely did not slow down. He shouldn’t have been able to eat all of it, but he shoved it into his mouth to try and get Sokka back to things he had to do. His mother used to sit with him after his father and sister had eaten and eat whatever he had made with her. His father made sure that he knew she had better things to do during that time the second she left. He was absolutely positive that it was his fault she left, he was too much of a burden and he didn’t want to make it worse with these people. 

Sokka watched as the prince ate faster as he got to the end of the bowl. About halfway through the food, he looked like he was going to vomit again but he didn’t slow down. After what he was told about his father he was certain that he didn’t want to know the reason for this behavior. He was going to ask anyway when the older boy had finished and seemed in less danger of being sick. He continued to watch until he was finished and put his bowl down. The firebender looked decidedly greener and Sokka stayed to make sure he wasn’t going to be sick and to talk to him. “Hey, you doing okay there buddy? You look kinda green.” He decided that this would be a decent way to start. 

Zuko glared confusedly at the boy, he was certain that he would leave as soon as he was finished and go back to the things that he had to do or things that he wanted to do. “I-I’m fine. Why are you staying?” He asked, he didn’t want to keep the boy if he didn’t want to stay. 

Sokka’s heart broke at the fact that the prince was genuinely confused as to why he stayed. “Dude, you’re my friend now, and you don’t seem to be doing well. I also wanted to talk to you for a bit. If that’s ok that is.” Sokka answered nervously. He was going to leave if the teen wanted him to, but he doesn’t think it’s going to come to that. 

“F-Friend? You want me to be your friend? No one has ever wanted to be my friend, the only person who was ever even nice to me was Azula’s friend.” He said truthfully. “I don’t care if you stay or not, but I figured you had other things you’d rather do.” He wanted to bring that up so he didn’t accidentally keep him from his other duties. 

“Yes, friend. And I don’t have anything else I have to do, and I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while.” Sokka said. “How about we play a game. We can play truth if you want, or you can suggest something else.” He wanted to make the boy feel comfortable and if he wanted to play he was going to milk it for all it’s worth. 

“Um. We can play truth I suppose… I don’t exactly know what that is though.” Zuko said the last part with a blush, he didn’t like admitting that he didn’t know what something was, it was a sign of weakness. 

“That’s fine, I’ll explain it then I’ll start so you can see what it’s like. It’s basically truth or dare without the dare part. We take turns asking questions, and the other person has to answer truthfully. You’re allowed to not answer if it truly upsets you, but if it just makes you uncomfortable you still have to answer. Sound good?” Sokka asked. He had a lot of questions that he wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to upset the boy so he figured he would let him avoid answering. 

Zuko nodded, he was terrified of what the questions would be and was trying desperately to think of some that he could ask the other boy. He decided that he would answer all of them honestly no matter what he was asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'm really sorry for this one being up so late. I hope you don't kill me for my attempt at a cliffhanger, but I promise I won't make you wait as long for the next chapter as I did for this one. Hope you enjoyed and I can't wait to read the comments! <3


	13. Truth: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Sokka have a talk, Hakoda wants to have one with the prince too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it took so long, I finally managed to finish this chapter a couple days ago, but completely forgot to upload it. The next chapter should be up today too, I've been working on it as well. I hope you enjoy and aren't too mad about my ADHD brain trying to murder this fic.

Sokka asked the first question of the game. “Alright, I’ll go now. Why haven’t you been eating? Other than today you haven’t seemed sick and I assume today was from lack of food rather than actually being sick.” He hoped this wasn’t overstepping on the first question. 

“Oh. Um, you’re probably not going to like the answer…” Zuko stated honestly. He didn’t want to upset the younger teen.

“It doesn’t matter if I like it or not, I was the one who asked the question.” Sokka said. He wanted a truthful answer and didn’t care if he liked it or not. 

“Um. Okay I guess. Aang took away my dao so I couldn’t hurt myself without bending, I think not eating just took its place. My father never let me eat unless I earned or made it myself, and you guys always insisted on me eating regardless so I hurt myself to compensate. I’d use my bending but I’m usually too tired by the end of the day to generate enough heat.” He wanted to answer them truthfully so he decided to make this stuff stayed secret. “Are you going to tell anyone what I answer to these questions?” he asked. 

“I’m not going to tell anyone unless you ask me too.” Sokka said. He wasn’t going to break the boy’s trust so he was going to keep the secrets. “It’s your turn to ask me a question.” He was dying to know what the older boy would ask so he waited patiently. 

“Okay, um…” Zuko had no idea what he was going to ask, thinking of questions didn’t go well and he didn’t want to do something like ask his favorite color. He settled on asking about his father. “How does your father treat you and Katara?” He hoped this wouldn’t get him in trouble. People always got in trouble when they asked about how his father treated them. 

“Oh! I definitely wasn’t expecting that, but he treats us good. He’s an amazing dad and he always takes good care of us. He’s never hurt us or denied us things we need if that’s what you’re asking about.” He answered truthfully, he hoped the firebender was planning on talking to his father soon. Everyone in the Gaang knew he needed a better family and that includes a father figure. His dad had already basically adopted Aang and Toph, and seemed to be making an effort with Zuko. 

“That’s good. Aang seems to think I should try and talk to him. Says something about needing a better father.” Zuko said honestly. 

“He’s not wrong you know.” Sokka replied. The two sat in awkward silence for a while before Sokka broke it. “I suppose that means its my turn now.” he said with an awkward chuckle. “Here’s a weird one. Do you ever actually use the time I give you on my rotation nights?” He asked, adding yet another awkward chuckle to the end. He wanted to know but he didn’t want to make the boy uncomfortable. 

“O-Oh.” Zuko definitely didn’t expect this conversation to turn sexual all of a sudden. He blushed a bright red as he squeaked out his answer. “Yes” he wanted to deny it and he also wanted to die of embarrassment, but he just sat there hoping Sokka would be the one to break the silence before he had to. 

“Oh, um, that’s good I suppose. It’s better than what happened last time.” He was about to say it was the prince’s turn, but he heard the firebender say something. “What was that Zuko? I didn’t hear you.”

Zuko flushed even redder than before, but he still repeated himself. “I-I said the last two times…” He really didn’t want to admit that his sister had heard him, let alone what she thought and that it was the reason he started taking advantage of Sokka’s offer. 

“Oof… Listen, I know it’s your turn and all, but you have to tell me now. Who was on nightmare watch that night and what happened?” Sokka was now eager to hear the whole story, he was going to let the prince ask his question if he insisted, but he was going to ask the next chance he got anyways. 

“Um, It was your sister…” he all but mumbled. He seemed to have a never ending spectrum of colors that his face could be, which means he went a shade darker. “Do I have to tell the story?” he asked. The pitch of his voice made it almost sound like a whine, but the mighty firebender didn’t whine. Ever. 

“You don’t have to, but I am going to ask it on my next turn if you don’t.” Sokka said with a mischievous smile. Now that he knew it was his sister he had to have the whole story. 

“Fine. Shit, I really don’t want to do this…” Zuko said, but before Sokka could tell him he didn’t have to until next round he started explaining. “I had another dream and she didn’t wake me up so I assume I didn’t make noise but I’m not sure. I left my room to do my sheets and clothes but your sister woke up when I opened the door. She asked if I wet the bed, when I told her no she seemed to catch on. I left to clean my stuff and when I went back she seemed to have gone back to sleep. Happy?” He asked. He wanted to sound annoyed, but his blush and fidgeting made that hard to notice. 

Sokka just started laughing. He couldn’t help it, his sister had asked him if he wet the damn bed. Zuko had to be mortified at this point, and his laughing wasn’t helping so he did his best to stop. “Dude. That must’ve sucked man.” Sokka said through fits of giggles. Zuko’s nod was all the confirmation he got. When he finally got the last of his giggling under control he told Zuko it was his turn. 

“Fuck. I had a question then you distracted me.” Zuko said frustrated. He didn’t remember what he was going to ask. “Can’t you just ask the questions and I answer? I suck at coming up with questions.” He said. 

“I asked the questions that I wanted to, and you ate, so we can be done if you want.” Sokka said. He was honestly out of questions, he had asked the two that he wanted to know most. He was planning on writing down some more questions for another time if Zuko ever wanted to play again. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’m kinda tired anyways.” Zuko wanted to end the game but he didn’t want the other boy to think he didn’t like it. It was embarrassing as hell sure, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He would play the next time he asked. 

“Alright. I’m going to trust you to come to breakfast tomorrow, but if you don’t I will be coming to find you and forcing you to eat again.” Sokka said. He was serious but he used a playful tone so he didn’t scare away the firebender. “Have a good night Zuko.” He said. 

“Yeah, you too.” He said plainly. He wanted the boy out of the room so he could think on some things. He also needed to decide what he would do about Hakoda. He knew it was his night on watch so he couldn’t leave his room after saying he was tired but that wouldn’t change his racing mind. 

After Sokka left the room he started to think. He gave the firebender his usual hour without him watching over the door, and spent the time thinking on what he was told that night. He wished he could be the one to take on Ozai. He would never survive hurting Zuko like he did. The boy needed a better father and he was determined to have his father take over that role. 

Zuko’s mind raced, he was thinking about anything and everything. He didn’t even realize that Sokka was still giving him his hour of free time before bed. He just let his mind wander until he fell into a light sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

That night was nightmare free and Zuko managed to take himself to breakfast. He hoped that he wouldn’t be bombarded by questions or accusatory glares. He didn’t think he could handle being treated like he was going to kill them again, at least not without full access to his dao. 

Sokka had told everyone about the fact that Zuko wasn’t feeling well, but wasn’t sick. He told them that if he wasn’t at meals someone should bring him food and make sure he eats it. They wanted to tell him the truth but he said he wouldn’t. He had just finished telling his father to talk to Zuko when the focus of their conversation showed up. 

Katara made sure to give him extra and thoroughly tell him to eat all of it since he didn’t eat for two days. He looked uncomfortable but did as he was told. Today he ate much slower because he didn’t want to be sick in front of everyone. He was glad that today was Aang’s earthbending and sparring day so they only did the simple daily exercises that help him with control rather than a full training and teaching. He planned on avoiding sparring with anyone and hiding in his room again before Sokka asked him specifically. 

“Sure,” was all he said after he was asked. He didn’t feel like he could say no after what he did last night, even if he didn’t want to. He also figured he would appreciate the chance to be out of his head for at least a little while. Sokka was telling jokes again but Zuko just stared at his food. He had barely eaten and people seemed to be taking notice. 

“Hey Sparky, you’ve barely eaten and you’re fidgeting. Are you okay?” Toph asked. He hated that she could tell exactly what he was feeling and doing. What was the advantage to a blind teammate if they noticed more about you than the seeing ones. 

“I’m fine. Just not really hungry.” He shot Sokka a pleading look hoping that he would help him. Sokka usually sat by the firebender but had decided to sit by his dad and sister that day. He also hoped that Toph wouldn’t point out that he was lying to the rest. He didn’t need more people worried about his health. 

Sokka seemed to notice how afraid the firebender looked and came to his rescue. “Hey jerkbender, can you do me a favor?” He hoped it wasn’t too obvious that he was distracting from the conversation. 

“Sure,” He said. He was willing to do just about anything to avoid being called out by Toph. 

“When you’re finished go grab my sword from my room. Your’s are already in the training area where Aang put them this morning for sparring.” He hoped that this would be an easy out for Zuko. He knew Katara didn’t actually mean he had to finish all of his food, especially after what was said, but his offer also allowed for him to stay and eat for a while if he was still hungry. 

“Yeah,” He said. He ate a little bit more before accepting his out. He wasn’t really hungry but he knew he had to be strong enough to train Aang tomorrow which means eating today. He left to get the sword and head to the training area. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka showed up to spar not long after Zuko got his sword. Everyone else was still eating so they would most likely be able to have a decent spar without Zuko’s anxiety kicking in. He wants to talk to Hakoda after the spar but he knew if he started thinking about that now it would ruin the spar. 

“You ready to meet your doom jerkbender?” Sokka asked playfully. He had hoped that the older boy would take the bait and they would have a fun spar rather than one that was just for practice. The firebender seemed like he needed a good distraction. 

Zuko knew exactly what Sokka was doing. He was baiting him, and he took it anyways because he wanted the distraction as much as Sokka wanted to give him one. “You think you can win peasant? I’ll crush you easily” Zuko said as he got in a fighting stance. He was ready for this, he wanted to fight until he forgot why he was a horrible person. 

The fight was on. Sokka made the first move with a strong swipe of his sword. Zuko had decided to dodge for a while knowing it would tire both of them out and he wouldn’t go down anytime soon. He executed several skillful dodges and a few flips just simply observing what fighting style Sokka had picked. Today seemed to be fire nation sword fighting. He was still amazed that Sokka had managed to learn fighting styles from all four nations so quickly, he had done it before even the avatar had. 

After a few more swipes from the water tribe warrior Zuko finally decided to attack back. He longed for the ache of tired muscles and the feeling of exhaustion that will allow him peaceful sleep tonight. He used his left sword to block Sokka’s attack and his right to make a swing at his legs. They always made sure to avoid the neck unless it was after the other was down, they didn’t want any fatal accidents from sparring. 

After Sokka managed to jump over his attempt at being knocked down Zuko backed off, not wanting to end the fight so soon. Sokka seemed to notice this because they went into familiar attacks and dodges that they’ve accomplished hundreds of times. 

The spar went on for about another hour before both boys were starting to get truly exhausted. Sokka made the first move that wasn’t predicted and Zuko caught on to the fact that he was ready to end the fight. The prince was agile enough that he could take down Sokka in a matter of seconds, they both knew this, and it was the reason he never truly tried to win until one of them was tired. 

Zuko made quick work of knocking Sokka down. If he wanted to keep sparring he would jump up and go back to attacking, but he simply said he yielded. 

Both boys laid panting on the ground, neither noticed that people had been watching them long before they decided to finish the battle. Shortly after Zuko steadied his breath he sat up and opened his eyes. He immediately stood up and offered Sokka a hand after seeing Hakoda watching them. The last thing he needed was Sokka’s father deciding he was worthless like his own had all those years ago. 

Sokka was confused but accepted the hand anyways. Zuko almost never helped him up. Okay, that makes it sound like he’s a jerk, he always asks if he wants help up and helps him if he says yes, but he almost never accepts it, preferring to lay there for a while. Upon seeing his dad he realized the reasoning behind him offering without asking. 

“Thanks Zuko” Sokka said. He hoped that the older boy would read his face, which was telling him that his father wasn’t a threat. He doubted it though, Katara was the only one who seemed to understand his secret language.

As expected Zuko remained just as tense. “No problem Sokka.” Zuko said. He wanted to get as far away from Hakoda as possible, which meant helping Sokka up and excusing himself quickly. “Good spar, I’m going to go clean up.” They were both aware of Zuko’s routine of bathing and cleaning his clothes after every spar. He hated the feeling of sweat on his skin and hated smelling bad even more. 

“Sure thing. See you at dinner.” They usually ate breakfast and dinner as a group but lunch was left to the individual person, which meant that Zuko usually skipped it. Sokka knew he wouldn’t see he prince again until dinner if he saw him at all again that day. 

Sokka went off to find some lunch while Zuko went in the opposite direction towards the stream. The temple had a shower and bath room, but Zuko despised the idea of being seen so went to the stream instead. Before he had the chance to scamper away a voice stopped him. 

“Hey Zuko. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” Hakoda asked. He wanted to talk to the boy without the chance of the others interrupting. He didn’t miss the way Zuko tensed upon seeing him. 

Watching his son and the prince sparring was quite entertaining. He arrived shortly after the two boys had started, the very beginning made it look like Zuko was going to easily beat his son, but the prince only laid two moves on his son before making one that even Hakoda could predict, his son responded with what also seemed like a practiced block. Both boys seemed to fall into a routine that they probably practiced for most of their spars. Hakoda continued to watch the two in what almost looked like a dance. 

After about an hour Sokka made a move that was a lot less predictable and less than two minutes Zuko had taken down Sokka. Hakoda was surprised to realize how easily Sokka went down after they went back to the actual fight. He watched as the prince and his son laid on the ground out of breath from the fight. He figured Zuko could use the tiring practice to allow him a decent sleep that night. Only after remembering the scream from a couple nights before did he decide to speak up and see if he could help the teenager in any way. 

“Um… Yes?” Zuko said. He didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he couldn’t take it back. He really didn’t want to talk to Hakoda, but he knew what would happen if he didn’t answer with the one Sokka’s father wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again that it took so long to upload, but I hope you enjoy. I broke it off in a weird place, but it will make sense when you see the next chapter. Updates might get even slower because band starts up again tomorrow, but I'll try my best. Thanks for reading. Comments and Kudos greatly appreciated. <3


	14. Hakoda is a good Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakoda finally talks to Zuko, and Zuko lets himself believe for a few minutes that he isn't worthless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is significantly shorter than the last one, and for that I apologize. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, mainly because I've kinda hit a wall and don't know where to take it next. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to read the comments.

Hakoda didn’t like the hesitation in Zuko’s voice when he responded. He hoped that the boy knew he could tell him if he didn’t want to talk. Either way, Zuko had agreed to talk to him so they would. Hakoda led the prince to a random room. The pai sho table in the middle was amazing, but the water tribe chief was on a mission and didn’t take the time to admire it. 

Zuko was terrified. He knew logically that neither Sokka or Katara had any bruises or cuts on them that would’ve been caused by Hakoda, but he also knew that words could hurt more than physical pain. He didn’t think from what he had seen during their interactions that he was like his own father, but he had no other adults to relate him to. He wasn’t nearly as happy as his mother was, and he was also never quite as calm as his uncle. He was an unknown, and that terrified him. 

“What did you want to talk about sir?” Zuko asked. He knew if he wanted to get this over with he had to be the one to start it, his father would just let him cower until he decided he was bored enough to yell and hit. Hopefully, he would be able to protect Katara and Sokka if he decided to bring them up. He did it for his sister, and he could do it again. 

Hakoda was stunned. He didn’t expect Zuko to be the first to speak, the boy looked like he was preparing for a fight that he knew he would lose. That was a confusing thing to notice. “I wanted to ask you if you have a problem with me being here. I noticed that you tense when I’m around and you always seem to be on guard.” He hoped to get the prince to tell him what Aang had before he had to tell him that his friend told him behind his back. 

“N-No sir, there’s no problem,” Zuko said. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was, he should’ve known better, now he was going to get hurt not only for having a problem with him, but for having lied to the man about it. 

“Zuko, this might seem random, but I want you to know that I would never hurt a child, especially not my own, or their friends.” Hakoda realized that he was getting nowhere with the prince and he needed to be frank with him. 

Zuko was petrified. He didn’t think he was being that obvious, and now he had gone and upset the man by questioning his parenting. His mind kept spiraling until what Hakoda said hit him. He would never hurt a child, especially not his own or their friends. Does that mean that he isn’t mad at him? Of course, it doesn’t, it also doesn’t mean that he’s not going to get hurt, he doubts any of them actually consider him a friend, he’s just a valuable asset. 

Zuko’s mind came to yet another halt after he realized that he had been staring in shock for the last two minutes, and Hakoda was asking him if he was alright. He immediately straightened his posture and made sure he would remember his manners before he angered the man more. “ Yes sir, I’m fine.” He said. He knew it probably sounded rehearsed, mostly because it was his standard response to almost all adults, but he said it anyway. 

The response was painfully practiced. It was almost worse than the ‘I’m fine’ from a few days ago. He hoped that he could break through to the boy at some point tonight. “I hope you realize that I include you in the category of my children’s friends.” He hoped that he could make it clear that he wasn’t going to hurt him, but the shocked look on his face hurt Hakoda. “I won’t ever hurt you, or anyone here. I hope you can come to trust me at some point, but I understand that it will not come easy to you after what your father did to you. I want you to know that you can come to me if you ever need to, whether that be as a friend or a parental figure. I won’t ever be angry at you for wanting or needing to talk to me, nor will I be angry or upset if you can never fully trust me.” Hakoda wanted the boy to know that he understood that what his father did would not happen to him if he needed to talk. 

Zuko was stunned. He thought tonight would end with another scar, maybe some more negative spiraling that led to him giving himself more self-inflicted scars, but not this. He didn’t expect the chief to offer himself as a father figure in his life, nor did he expect to be told that he wasn’t going to be hurt if he couldn’t trust the man. He was speechless, he had no clue what he could possibly say to that, and even if he did, he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t start crying the second he opened his mouth. He wanted to thank the man, he still didn’t trust him in any way, but he also was able to believe him when he said that he wouldn’t hurt any of them. 

Hakoda could almost see the thoughts spinning through the boy’s head. He was about to drag the boy into a bear hug, but he thought better of it before he scared the boy. “Zuko, can I hug you?” Hakoda hoped the boy would say yes, but he also knew he wouldn’t be upset if he said no. 

Zuko felt pure confusion at the question. His uncle was the only person who ever asked if they could hug him. His mother knew she would always get a yes if she wanted to hug him, and everyone else just assumed they could hug him regardless. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he nodded warily. He didn’t want to be hurt in the way his father would when he was given a hug, but he also didn’t think Hakoda would do that. 

Hakoda immediately pulled the boy into a massive hug. He felt the boy tense as if waiting to be hurt, before relaxing into the hug. He hated the fact that his father could have very easily hurt him in a hug like this, he didn’t only hate it, it made him sick. He just held on all the tighter. After about half a minute of the hug, which he wasn’t willing to end until the boy did, he felt the teenager start to shake with silent sobs. He began rubbing circles on his lower back to try and soothe him, it seemed to calm the boy enough to let him stop holding back his tears. He felt his shoulder grow damp, but he didn’t dare say anything for fear of upsetting the boy. 

Zuko was sobbing on this man’s shoulder. He didn’t deserve this comfort, but he was too selfish to push the man away and leave. They stayed inside the embrace until he had no tears left and found the mental strength to push the man away. He immediately felt the loss of warmth and almost started crying again. He hated himself for being so needy when it came to human touch, it was weak and a waste of other people’s time. 

“Fuck…” Zuko mumbled under his breath. He immediately realized what he had said and cowered away. His father made it very clear that those words were for commoners and punishments. He hoped that Hakoda wouldn’t be angry enough with him to go back on what he said. 

Hakoda was shocked with the use of language from the prince, but he was more concerned with the reason he said it, and even more so at the way he cowered after realizing what he had said. “Zuko, what’s wrong?” He said. He said it in a tone that one would use when approaching a scared animal. He didn’t want the boy afraid of him after they made so much progress. 

“I-I’m sorry. Such language is unacceptable for a prince to be using, even after banishment. I accept whatever punishment you have to give.” Zuko had said this every time his father had heard him swear. It became a frequent thing after getting back to Caldera after his years on the ship. He was bound to be less conscious of his swearing habits after living with sailors for three years. 

“Zuko, I’m not worried about your language, if you haven’t noticed, Sokka and Katara swear all the time. My own mother swore worse than a sailor when she was upset. It’s not a big deal where we come from. I asked what was wrong because you felt the need to say something in the first place.” Hakoda wanted the boy to open up but he got the sinking feeling that the conversation was almost over and he wouldn’t leave it with answers he enjoyed. 

“O-Oh, um, I-I um-I wasted your time with my weakness and I got your shirt wet, and then I almost cried again afterward, and then I lost control of my language. I was pathetic and weak.” Zuko thinks he’s starting to see what his uncle meant when he said he seemed like he was asking for punishment. If he had just lied and said it was nothing then he would be fine, but he had to go and point out everything that he had just done wrong. He started to feel the tears well up again. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay Zuko. Accepting help isn’t a weakness, it’s one of the hardest things for a person to do, and if I was worried about my shirt I would’ve said something. And sometimes you need to lose control to make sure you can control yourself when it really matters.” He wanted to say that needing human contact wasn’t a weakness either, but he had a feeling that he would just push the boy away further if he did, so he kept that part to himself. He made sure the prince could clearly see that he was about to touch him and that he could stop it if he wanted. 

Zuko didn’t know what to say. He just sat there as Hakoda began rubbing his back. He couldn’t do anything against his reaction to relax into it. He missed being touched more than he cared to admit, but he’s starting to think that he was helping Hakoda as much as he was helping Zuko. “Okay,” He mumbled. It was barely loud enough to be heard by Hakoda, but somehow he managed. 

The two sat together like that for a while, but when Hakoda realized that dinner would probably be ready soon he spoke up. “Hey, you still want to get cleaned up before dinner? I’m sure Sokka will be pissed off enough to yell at you if you skip another meal.” Hakoda ended this with a chuckle. He hoped that it would cheer the boy up and give himself enough time to process what had happened that day before he had to face the others. 

“Y-Yeah. S-sorry again for this.” Zuko said quietly. He felt horrible for breaking down like that, but he gets the feeling that Hakoda wouldn’t mind. He still felt sticky from sweat and he felt the layers of dirt on his skin from rolling on the ground trying to deflect attacks. 

“You don’t have to apologize Zuko, come find me if you ever need to talk to an adult. Remember that I won’t ever be angry or annoyed.” Hakoda then got up and wandered away before the boy could try and argue reasons as to why he deserved to be punished. 

Zuko wanted to argue, but he just stood up and wandered to the creek where he bathed and washed his clothes. 

~~~~~~~~~

Everyone was happy to see the Zuko at a meal and actually eating. Whatever happened between Hakoda and Zuko during lunch seemed to put him at ease enough for him to eat most of his food. They were going to ask questions but they decided against it after seeing the pointed look Sokka sent them. 

Conversation flowed nicely. Hakoda had said something, although he wasn’t sure what it had been, that made him realize that he was hungry, and maybe he could actually eat without hating himself for it. It was wishful thinking, but he got most of it down before he started feeling like he needed to be suffering again. 

No one seemed to really pay attention to Zuko after he ate about half of his food. Zuko managed to excuse himself before he started to look suspicious. He wandered off to his room hoping to get some privacy before anyone else showed up to check on him. 

He was emotionally exhausted, but not physically. He felt horrible for eating as much as he did, and he soon found himself gripping his leg without being fully aware of what he was doing. It wasn’t until he felt his hand heat that he realized what he was doing, and why it wasn’t a good idea. Of course, at that point, it was too late to take it back. He felt the burn on his leg and he felt horrible for breaking his promise to Aang. He cried until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for sticking with me for this long. I'm thinking of jumping into Ember Island next chapter, but I'm not sure. Feel free to give me your opinions in the comments. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to post the next one. Can't wait to read the comments! <3


	15. Zuko is a sacrificing idiot sometimes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula is a bitch, Zuko is an idiot, everyone else is terrified for the idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to get some writing done this weekend before band picks back up and school starts again. I'm sorry if anything in here doesn't make sense, I'm working with very little sleep and even less food. Sorry it's short.

Zuko woke up early that morning with the pain in his leg as a reminder of how much he screwed up. He wanted to hide away again, but he knew Aang still needed training, and apparently people here felt the need to make sure everyone, including him, was ok, which means he has to be careful not to burden them. He quickly got ready and made sure he carefully covered the burn in a way that wouldn’t show during training. 

Aang woke with the sun, not because he wanted to, but because he had subconsciously decided he’d rather wake with the sun than to Zuko shaking him. He made sure to do his meditation in his room before he went outside, he’s gotten into the habit of paying attention to Zuko’s meditation to determine if he’ll be able to spar normally. He also took the time to check for any new self-harm burns or cuts. He hasn’t seen any in a while, but that doesn’t mean anything since he always wears long pants. He assumes Hakoda talked to him the day before based on how he was acting at dinner that night, but he doesn’t know for sure. 

Aang went out to their practice area to find Zuko fiddling with his left pant leg. Before he could ask what was wrong Zuko was getting into his seated position for meditation and gesturing next to him for Aang to do the same. Aang knew today he would have to be careful with his attacks during sparring, Zuko wasn’t meditating again, and he knew from past experience that he shouldn’t bring it up. 

Zuko knew that Aang could tell when he wasn’t meditating, on those days he took it easy and made sure to keep all of his attacks below his collar bone. He would’ve mentioned it to him, but he knew bringing it up would do nothing to stop him, and he was actually really grateful for his actions. 

About halfway through their training, and about an hour after everyone else woke up, Azula arrived. She looked like she was getting less and less stable with him gone. She was never really mentally stable to begin with, but he was usually the one who was able to break through to her when she was about to do something stupid. He didn’t think it would work this time however, mainly because she was yelling something about ‘celebrating becoming an only child’. Some part of him deep down felt happy to see her again, but it was almost immediately killed when she started attacking them. 

Zuko, being the stupid idiot he was, ignored everyone yelling at him as he went to attack Azula. He knew she would kill them all if he went with them, at least this way he could distract her and let everyone else get away safely. He wanted to take the time to see if the others were okay, but he knew if he looked back he would be killed. He was vaguely aware of the sounds of Appa growling and the gaang trying to coax him into a tunnel. He hoped they would be okay. Before he could even push the thought away and keep fighting, he was falling off the airship, apparently so was Azula. 

He had accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to make it. He was too far away to make it to any ledge with firebending before he hit the ground, and he had protected the closest thing he had to family. He had just processed the fact that he was going to die and accepted it when he felt a hand grab his arm. Someone was saving him, he could only hope it wasn’t Azula wanting to finish him herself. 'Of course it isn’t Azula, she doesn’t give a shit how I die, as long as I do. Father probably sent her.' It was Katara who pulled him up. Sokka, Katara, Aang, Toph, and Suki were there, but the others were nowhere in sight. He was confused about this before he looked up and felt a pang of hurt when he realized Azula probably wasn’t going to live. 'Of course, she did, why would anything else happen, and why the fuck am I relieved about her survival?' His thoughts were interrupted by a very angry voice. 

“What the fuck were you thinking Sparky!?” Toph yelled the second he was on the saddle. She was terrified from the second she felt his feet leave the ground. She didn’t want to lose the closest thing she had to a brother. “You could’ve died!” She wasn’t sure what she expected out of him, but it wasn’t what came next. 

“Better me than any of you.” Zuko knew this was true, not only was he the least liked in the group, but he kept them up with his nightmares and harming habits, and he was also the oldest one there. He couldn’t let any of them die because of him. 

“Hey. Yeah you, the self-sacrificing idiot. We could’ve gotten away without you fighting her. You know you didn’t have to do that right?” Sokka was annoyed with the firejerk for thinking he was worth less than the rest of them, but apparently he had felt that way since the day they met. Maybe longer. Sokka was upset that he had to leave some of the others behind, but he knew they would get away on their own, his priority now was making sure Zuko knew he was an idiot. 

The rest of the group took their turns arguing with Zuko about the fact that he was an idiot who deserved to live, and he shouldn’t have tried to fight her on his own. Zuko finally got them all to shut up by pointing out that they didn’t have a plan for where they were going. No one was steering Appa and they had no particular direction from what he could tell. 

“My family has an old beach house on Ember Island. No one will think to look for us there. Azula hates the place, and my father assumes I do too after what happened last time. We’ll be safe and it’s only a few day’s flight from here.” Zuko hoped that they would go for it and stop berating him about the fact that he tried to fight Azula. He hated the place and he knew his nightmares were going to get worse while there, but he knew they would be safe. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The gaang sat in silence for a while, it was a long ride before they were ready to find a camping spot, and everyone was exhausted. Soon, only Sokka, Zuko, and Aang were awake, and Aang was steering so he couldn’t hear them. Zuko broke the silence with the one question he had been afraid to ask. 

“Hey, um. What happened to the others?” He was afraid of there being a fight after bringing it up, but he wanted to know what had happened and if they needed to go back for them before they got too far away from the temple. He immediately felt bad upon seeing the sad look on Sokka’s face. 

It wasn’t like Sokka hadn’t been thinking about them since they left, but the reminder being outside of his head still hurt. “They got away through a tunnel while you were fighting your insane sister. Toph closed it back off after making sure they had some supplies, then we went to get you. We were all going to go through the tunnel together, but Appa refused. We realized that Appa couldn’t get away safely with all of us, but we needed to keep Aang and his teachers together, and I came too.” Sokka said. That last part made him feel very inadequate, but he ignored it. “Speaking of which, we left them with some of our tents. We have two, Katara is staying in one, Toph is probably going to make her own, me and you will probably be sharing, and Aang is either going to join us two or make his own earth tent. Hopefully, you’re okay with that.” 

“That’s fine. I’m really sorry though. I should’ve been able to hold her off for longer, and if I was less conspicuous when I left Caldera, maybe she wouldn’t have found us.” He knew he was talking himself into a hole, but he needed to apologize for being such an idiot. He put everyone in danger and not only that, but he screwed himself over because the only safe place they had left was Ember Island. 

“Shut up,” Sokka said. “Seriously, stop fucking blaming yourself for everything. You are fucking amazing and powerful and adorable, Azula being there was not your goddamn fault, we stayed for too long already and weren’t being careful enough to see when she arrived.” He hadn’t quite yet realized that he had called Zuko adorable, but he noticed the other teen’s blush and figured it out quickly enough. “Shit… Sorry man.” He didn’t know what else to say so he just said he was going to take a nap and rolled over before his own blush was noticed. 

'Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck! Sokka just called me adorable! What the fuck do I do with that? He’s still fucking talking, he can’t just throw that shit out there and expect me to keep listening. Does he even know that he said it? What does this mean?' To say Zuko was kind of freaking out was an understatement. All he got out of what Sokka said was ‘Stop blaming yourself’ and then a few compliments, and then his mind short-circuited. The person he had had a crush on for the last week had just called him amazing, powerful, and adorable within the span of 10 seconds. He could feel himself blushing, but he wasn’t paying attention. He had no clue how much time had passed, but the next thing he knew Sokka was apologizing and going to sleep. He decided to follow for fear of letting his brain continue. 

I wasn’t until he heard the prince settle down on the saddle for sleep that he let his mind freak out. He was such an idiot, how could he have let that slip so easily. He had finally figured out that he had a crush on the damn firebender, and now he had to go and ruin it with a careless slip of his tongue. Fuck, he had to share a tent with him that very night. How the hell was he supposed to do that without making it worse? That was his last thought before sleep finally claimed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, hopefully I will actually be able to do enough writing to have some uploads during the week, if not, I sincerely apologize. I hope you enjoyed, and I can't wait to read the comments! <3


	16. And then they were gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka comes out to Zuko by making Zuko come out to him, like idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short so I apologize, but I managed to post two chapters in two days, which is very exciting. I have all day tomorrow to write as well. The next chapter is almost done, but it probably won't be posted until Monday. Hope you enjoy our idiots yet again!

Aang landed Appa as softly as he could. He was as tired as the rest of them were, but he let them sleep until they got to the nearest island, everyone deserved it, especially Zuko. He woke up Sokka and Katara and left the other two sleep. Toph was even younger than him and looked peaceful as she slept, and even though Zuko never slept well, he just fought his sister and almost died so he wasn’t allowed to help set up. 

The original three members of Team Avatar worked together to set up the two regular tents and a small campfire to be lit in the morning for breakfast. Aang set up two earth tents knowing that Toph wouldn’t want to share with anyone and a third person wouldn’t fit in Sokka and Zuko’s tent. Once everything was set up, Aang took it upon himself to airbend Zuko into his tent knowing he wouldn’t go back to sleep if he was woken, while Sokka carried Toph to her earth tent being careful to not get beat for waking her. 

Katara and Aang fell fast asleep, but Sokka couldn’t calm his mind. He was freaking out over what he had said to Zuko. ‘Why the hell did I call him adorable?!’ He had made many scenarios for how that morning was going to play out, however, the only one he refused to let himself think about was one of the ones that made the most sense. Zuko had blushed at Sokka’s comment, and then he didn’t say anything about it, he didn’t even look upset or weirded out by it. ‘Could he actually like me back? No, no, he’s straight, he would’ve told me if he wasn’t. Then again, I never told him I wasn’t straight. Maybe he was just hiding it because he thought he wasn’t into guys.’ Sokka let his thoughts spiral for a few more hours before he was able to calm his mind enough to let him actually sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko woke up even earlier than he normally did. When he woke he found himself disorientated and panicking. He couldn’t remember how he got where he was and it felt like when he was put on the Wani all over again. He was facing the wall of the tent, but all he saw was darkness, the sun hadn’t come up and with how close he was to the wall no moonlight crept towards his eyes. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. He wanted to cry, scream, and figure out where the fuck he was, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t allowed to cry, he couldn’t scream or he’d be beaten again, and he was too frozen in place to allow himself to get up and look. He felt the sun rising and managed to think clearly enough to wait for the sun to rise before completely losing his shit. That was until someone moved near him. 

Sokka had been woken to the sounds of Zuko’s breath hitching. He heard him slowly becoming more and more afraid and couldn’t tell why. He knew it wasn’t a nightmare, the firebender thrashed during all of his nightmares, even during his more pleasant dreams he moved almost violently. It wasn’t too early for a firebender to be waking up, but the sun was barely rising. Sokka settled on whispering Zuko’s name to see if he ws up. There was a shift next to him that seemed panicked, so he tried again. “Zuko, buddy, are you alright? Did you have a nightmare or something?” He hoped he could comfort his friend even if he had missed a nightmare somehow. He vaguely noticed the had been steadily growing warmer before a voice broke into his thoughts. 

“S-Sokka? Is that you?” He felt nothing but pure relief. If Sokka was there then that meant he wasn’t completely alone and even if they were captured they could get out together. “Where the fuck are we? Last thing I remember we were on Appa.” He felt the tension release from his body upon realizing that he was probably in a tent at their campsite. 

“We’re on an island about two days away from Ember Island. We decided to leave you sleep while we unpacked because you hadn’t had any nightmares yet and it was right after your battle with Azula. Do you want us to wake you next time?” He felt bad that they had sent Zuko into a panic attack simply because they hadn’t woken him. Hopefully, he sounded sincere when he offered so the prince didn’t shy away from it. 

“Um. Yeah, if you could. The only times I’ve ever woken up in a place that I didn’t remember falling asleep was when I was burned, or when I was in prison. Well, if you don’t count the times I got blackout drunk on my ship that is. Oh, and that one time Zhao drugged me, that one sucked, I was sore for days.” Zuko figured he was going to have to explain that one eventually, but today was not the day. 

Sokka was tired, but not tired enough to miss the part about Zuko being drugged and sore for days. He had no clue what that meant, but he wasn’t going to pry that early in the morning. “Yeah, we can wake you up in the future, Aang just thought you needed the sleep and probably weren’t going to be able to get back to sleep if we woke you.” Sokka noticed the tent getting cooler as Zuko calmed, it was probably a bender thing. Everything got cold when Katara was emotional, Aang made it windy, and Toph made the ground shake, it was actually really scary to witness the pure emotions controlling someone’s bending. “You wanna get up and make breakfast? I need to get dressed and then I’ll be out to help.” Sokka hoped that the prince would accept or go back to sleep. 

“Sure, I’ll go get everything ready.” Zuko needed out of that tent before Sokka could notice it heating again after being told that Sokka wasn’t dressed. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Both boys had just started making breakfast when Sokka decided to get it over with. “Hey Zuko, can I ask you a weird personal question?” He hoped the answer was yes, he really needed to now if Zuko was gay, and even if he wasn’t, he wanted to come out to the older teen. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s fine.” Zuko was focused on cooking and wasn’t really paying close attention to what the other boy was saying. As Zuko got together some of their bread and set to toasting it, Sokka spoke again. 

There was no point in beating around the bush so he went for the blunt route. “Are you straight?” He hoped it wasn’t too strong of a question, but based on the way Zuko’s face paled and he stopped moving it was a bad way to put it. 

“W-Why do you ask?” Zuko immediately cursed himself for stuttering again and quickly realized that he had stopped his preparation and almost burnt the bread. 

“Multiple reasons, but I’m not telling you my reasons until you answer me, and before you freak out, I’m for lgbtq+ rights, not against them.” Sokka hoped that he didn’t imagine the way Zuko relaxed when he was told he wasn’t against him being gay or whatever the fuck he was. 

“Oh, um, in that case… I’m-I’m gay.” Zuko hoped he wouldn’t be beaten for this. Aang said almost everyone was gay there, but telling your male crush that you’re gay is very overwhelming. 

“That’s cool,” Sokka replied smoothly. It was his turn to tell Zuko that he was bi, but he realized that Zuko had mentioned a girlfriend rather fondly when Sokka got back from boiling rock and decided that it was a more pressing question. “Wait, didn’t you say you had a girlfriend? What was her name? Mai?”

“Y-Yeah, we were never really together together. We covered for each other. She was and still is a lesbian, she was secretly dating Ty Lee, and she knew I was gay long before I even did. We’ve covered for each other for almost 4 years when she got together with her. She’s actually my best friend.” Zuko wasn’t prepared for what Sokka said next. 

“That’s actually really awesome. I never had any time to date anyone back in my village. Even in a fake relationship. Although I doubt I’d ever need one, Dad always told us that he would accept us no matter what, and it proved to be true when I came out about a year ago.” Sokka hoped that it would be enough for Zuko to realize he wasn’t straight either. 

“Came out? Are you gay? Haven’t you had multiple girlfriends?” Zuko barely managed to shut himself up before he said anything more stupid. His mind was quickly spiraling into ‘I could have a chance with him’ territory. That wasn’t a safe place to be. 

“I’m actually bi, I haven’t dated a guy before, but I’ve had my fair share of crushes. What about you? Have you ever actually dated anyone?” Sokka had no clue what he wanted the answer to be, he just knew that he might have a chance now that he know’s Zuko’s gay. 

“Um, yeah. He was a real asshole though. Tried getting me arrested for firebending in Ba Sing Se when I hadn’t even firebent since I got there. I can’t believe I ever let that guy talk me into the shit we did.” Zuko hated the man now, him and his stupid wheat stick always in his mouth, why did he ever find that thing attractive? He was the only one other than Jet that knew what had happened between them. He realized he hadn’t thought about Jet in a long long time, memories came rushing back. 

‘Kissing on the ferry. Stolen kisses in the shop’s kitchen. Fever kisses in the bedroom. Saying no repeatedly. Having his hair pulled in the same way his father had. Thinking it was love. Thinking he deserved it. Thinking he had to do it for Jet to like him.’

His train of thought was interrupted by Aang waking up. Well, that was the end of that conversation. He finished breakfast quickly and made sure he ate before starting to pack up his and Sokka’s tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sm for reading, I look forward to seeing the Kudos and Comments! I hope you enjoyed and I can't wait to post more soon. <3


	17. The Pining has Stopped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka gets up the courage to talk to Zuko, Zuko tells Sokka about his crushes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm finally getting into a decent writing and uploading routine, but I definitely wouldn't call it a schedule. I thought about adding more to this chapter, but I felt like the conversation stood on its own. Hopefully it isn't too much shorter than the other chapters. Enjoy!

The day’s flight was rather uneventful. They had a routine. 15-minute restroom stops every hour and a half, one hour lunch halfway through the day’s trip, then land, set up camp, and have dinner. That was apparently their routine since the first week that Aang was traveling with Sokka and Katara. It allowed adequate rest for Appa, stretching of sore limbs, removed the need for emergency bathroom stops almost completely (Toph), and kept them on a regular schedule in general. 

After they landed they had an early night. Normally they would fly until the sun set, but there weren’t any islands close enough that they could get to before they ran out of light. They had a day and a half left of traveling, but it was nice to be with the group in such a small setting. Zuko always hated large amounts of people, but this wasn’t so bad. 

The group talked around the fire until the sun finally set and everyone started retreating to their tents. This time, since they had more time to set up camp, they spread their tents out more to give them more privacy. Zuko and Sokka were the last two to retire for the night, but neither boy was ready for bed. 

“Hey Zuko, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Sokka asked. He had a question that had been on his mind for a long time. 

“Sure. I’m bored anyways” Zuko replied. He trusted Sokka with anything he had to say, and he knew he might actually have a chance with the warrior now. 

“What happened between you and that guy you mentioned the other day? It seemed like you wanted to say more before Aang woke up.” He hoped he wasn’t overstepping, but his curiosity always got the better of him in the end. 

“Oh. Sokka, are you sure you want to know? I’m perfectly okay with telling you, but it’s not a pretty story. The only other person who knows the full story is Jet.” He hoped that Sokka would be okay with it, Zuko thinks it might actually help him move on to talk about it. 

“Yes, I really want to know. Especially if it’s the same Jet I think you’re talking about, Katara had a thing for him too and he was killing innocent people.” Sokka wanted him to continue and figured he would know if it was the same Jet as the story went on. 

“It probably is the same guy, but get comfy, it’s a long story,” Zuko said. He was ready to tell it before he remembered something. “I’m not sure if I can keep telling it if you interrupt, so just wait until I get to the end please.”

“Okay. Go ahead, I’m ready when you are.” Sokka replied. 

“Alright, here goes nothing.” Zuko took a deep breath and began. “I met this guy on the ferry to Ba Sing Se. Me and my uncle were going there as refugees, we were going to try and open our own tea shop at some point. The captain was giving out his spoiled scraps to the people on the ship, he was eating fresh food and refusing to give any to anyone else. I was complaining about the food to Uncle when Jet came over and told me about the captain. The first thing I noticed about the guy was his build. I’d been too angry and had too much of a case of tunnel vision to think about dating so he was the first guy I had an interest in since I got my scar. We did this whole thing where we stole the good food and gave it out to everyone, and he started complimenting me on my flexibility and agility. That evening after most people had gone to sleep we sat talking against the rail of the boat, after a while, he leaned in and kissed me. I had a stupid crush on this dude, and I didn’t even realize how much of an asshole he was. Shortly after we got off the ferry, Uncle made the stupid decision to heat his tea with firebending. Jet saw, but he didn’t say anything at the time. Me and Uncle got jobs at a tea shop in the lower ring, and Jet and I continued to see each other for a few weeks. Jet wasn’t a very good person to be in a relationship with. He was rude and controlling, but that was all I had known my whole life, so I thought it was normal. And to add to that, he was an even worse sexual partner. He never listened when I said no, he pulled my hair in the same way as when I got my scar which sent me into panic attacks, and he was never gentle. I avoided sex with him at all costs, but he kept threatening to break up with me if I didn’t. Those are probably the worst parts, but it wasn’t the most annoying, the most annoying was the fact that he didn’t give a shit if I came or not. Nine times out of ten I was left on my own to finish or cry. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and stopped talking to him altogether. After a week of me ignoring him, he burst into the tea shop and started shouting that we were firebenders. Everyone in the tea shop at that point had begun to love Uncle’s tea, so they stood up for us. The Dai Li tried to step in, but I was just pissed at Jet by then. I grabbed one of the agent’s dao swords and fought him off myself. People seemed surprised at that, but Jet went down and I didn’t see him for a few weeks. Next time I saw him, he was acting weird and thought we were still together, I told him to fuck off and left at that point. Uncle was the only other person who even knew we were together, and he didn’t know the extent of what was going on unless he guessed.” Zuko finally finished the story with a sigh waiting for Sokka to talk. 

“That little bitch. I wish I could’ve killed him. He fucking raped and abused you. You deserve so much fucking better Zuko, please tell me you know that.” Sokka was shocked, he didn’t have any clue what to say so he had just let his mouth run. He was seeing red and he didn’t quite know what to do with all of that information. 

“I think I know that, but there are only two people I’ve fallen for since that haven’t been total assholes, and neither of them would want anything to do with me.” Zuko sighed again, he didn’t expect it to be so easy for him to admit all of that. It was significantly harder for him to talk about his father than it was to talk about Jet, but he supposed he endured Jet’s abuse for less time. 

“Dude, I’m 99% sure that both of the people probably did or still do have a crush on you. You’re just too afraid to talk to them. Who are they? I’m pretty good at telling if someone likes them or not.” Sokka secretly hoped that he was one of the people, but he knew that he probably wasn’t. 

Zuko flushed a bright red when Sokka asked. How could he possibly tell someone that you had a crush on them? “Uh. One of them was Haru, and I’m not telling you the other one.” Zuko was embarrassed enough admitting that he had a crush on Haru, he couldn’t possibly admit his feelings for Sokka too. 

“Maybe it’s good that you didn’t go for that one, but it has nothing to do with you as a person, he’s one of the few straight people we had in the group. Tell me who the other person is, I promise I won’t tell them. Will you at least tell me if they’re straight or not?” Sokka was just rambling at that point. He didn’t even give Zuko a chance to answer them before asking another one. 

“I’m not going to tell you who it is, but, he’s not straight. He’s one of the few people I know that isn’t honestly.” Zuko hoped he hadn’t said too much, he had been in the Earth Kingdom for long enough to develop other crushes. 

“Will you tell me if I guess?" Sokka asked. He really wanted to know, but he also knew he shouldn't push too hard. 

"I'll tell you if you get it wrong, but not if you get it right." Zuko wasn't going to admit it out loud but his silence would be telling. 

Sokka chuckled. "I'll be able to tell based on silence, you know that right?" He was excited that he was going to find out, but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to tease him. 

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, but I'm not losing anymore dignity by confirming it directly. Now start asking questions." Zuko could only hope that he wouldn't cringe and blush.

"Alright, alright. Ok, so, is it Aang?" He wanted to get the obviously wrong answers out of the way. 

Zuko failed and cringed. The kid is 12 got spirits sake! "Sokka, you realize he's twelve right? Like, way, way too young. So, no, not him." Zuko couldn't decide if he liked the fact that he hadn't guessed himself, or if he hated the suspense. 

"I figured, but I wanna get the easy ones out of the way. I'm going to assume it's still not Teo then, and I'll personally murder you if it's The Duke, is it someone from the fire nation?" Sokka hopes it isn't someone in the firenation, but it's a good option since he went back to Caldera after Ba Sing Se. 

"No, I was still 'with' Mai when I went back and I wasn't allowed out to meet anyone else, and no Sokka, I'm not a pedophile." Zuko knew it was just a matter of time before he guessed himself, and he would have no choice but to stay quiet, he wasn’t going to lie to the person who was quickly becoming his best friend. 

“Okay, maybe Earth Kingdom then? There’s a good chance I won’t get it right if they are though.” Sokka was just throwing guesses out now. Maybe he met someone after Jet, but he personally got too attached to move on that fast. 

“Also no…” Shit… Sokka knows it’s water tribe now, how long until he narrows it down to southern water tribe and then himself? Zuko is getting more and more nervous now that Sokka is getting closer. 

Sokka is getting more excited by the minute, the chances of it being him are going up very quickly. Zuko doesn’t know anyone in the Northern tribe well enough to have a crush on them, and he only ever met himself, Katara, and his dad in the Southern Tribe. “Hm… Is it… My dad?” Sokka was joking of course, but he saw the look on his friend’s face and realized that he didn’t know it was a joke. 

Zuko was bright red, even his bad eye managed to be pulled open wide, his mouth was hanging open as if he couldn’t remember how to speak before he finally found his words. Well… word. “NO!” Zuko shrieked. How could Sokka possibly think it was his father? He barely even knew the guy and he was personally terrified of him. Zuko realized based on Sokka’s face that it was a joke and he managed to turn even redder. “That wasn’t funny Sokka.” He grumbled. 

“Oh, trust me, it was hilarious. I have one last guess, but I doubt it’s right, I probably just missed someone. Is it me?” Sokka figured he’d be met with the same reaction his dad got, but he was just met with a clamped jaw and a bright red face. He couldn’t believe it, it couldn’t possibly be him, right? He almost never had luck with crushes. “It is me isn’t it?” Sokka must’ve appeared shocked because Zuko just started squirming. 

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll leave, I can sleep somewhere else. Fuck, I’m really sorry.” Zuko was just rambling apologies, he didn’t know what else to say, but he figured he’d just ruined his relationship with his best friend. He started stumbling out of the tent before a hand grabbed him. 

He couldn’t believe that Zuko thought he would kick him out, even if he didn’t like him back he would never leave Zuko to sleep in the woods. “First of all dude, I would never let you sleep in the woods, or wherever else you found to sleep, so you’re staying in the tent. Second off, I… Fuck… I like you too Zuko. Like, like like, you, So don’t apologize.” It was Sokka’s turn to blush and avoid eye contact. He was afraid for some reason. Having feelings for each other doesn’t always lead to a relationship even if he wants one. 

“You don’t have to take pity on me Sokka. You don’t have to pretend you have feelings for me, no one ever has, and it’s not like that’s ever going to change.” Zuko wanted to cry. He already knew Sokka didn’t feel the same way, and he hated how he seemed weak and fragile enough for someone to fake their feelings. He was just grateful that he was allowed to stay in the tent. 

“Hey, that’s not true. I’m not taking pity on you, you idiot. You’re amazing, and I would never, ever, pretend to have feelings for someone. That’s wrong, and I can’t believe that you don’t see how perfect you are to me.” Sokka hoped his words were enough, he had no clue where this was going to go, but at that moment he needed to make sure Zuko saw his worth and that he wasn’t lying. 

“D-Do you really mean that?” He hated how small he sounded, but if there was even a chance that Sokka liked him back he had to find out. 

“Yes, you idiot. I’ve liked you since the air temple. I just didn’t know it back then. I didn’t even know I was bi before I met you, why else would I have asked if you were straight yesterday. I didn’t ask anyone else on the team what their sexualities were, I just let them tell me when they were ready. I just wanted to know if I even had a minuscule chance with you. I haven’t even told anyone other than you and Aang that I like guys.” Sokka needed to get it across that he liked Zuko, and somehow manage to convince him to be his boyfriend. 

Zuko was speechless. No one ever liked him back. He fell for straight guys and assholes who don’t have feelings at all. How could someone as perfect as Sokka like him, let alone call him perfect and say that he, Zuko, made him question his sexuality. It was ridiculous. He must’ve been taking too long to respond because Sokka started talking again. 

“Zuko, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Sokka kept talking after that, but Zuko couldn’t hear anything other than his heart beating in his ears and his mind racing. Sokka asked if he wanted to be his boyfriend, how the hell did tonight go as well as it did? “Yes!” Zuko blurted before he could stop himself. He turned red but didn’t try and take it back. 

Sokka was absolutely certain Zuko didn’t hear anything about them taking it slow because of Jet, but he would make sure to talk about it with him after he was calmed down. “Okay, so you want to be my boyfriend, but now comes the next one. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Zuko was stunned. He assumed that Sokka was just going to assume that they were dating, he hadn’t expected him to care enough to ask two separate questions on the subject. “Yes Sokka, I’ll be your boyfriend, but why me? I don’t deserve you.” 

“Shut up dum dum. You deserve every good thing the world has to give to you. And don’t even start with that ‘I’ve done so much wrong in my life’ shit. I know that face, you’ve changed, and you’re actively going against your father and little sister to save the world. You are amazing and I’d like to think that because we both deserve someone that loves them, that we deserve each other.” Sokka couldn’t let him continue to spiral. As much as he wanted to just kiss him to make him shut up, he wouldn’t do it without the other boy’s consent, not after what happened with his father and Jet, (and possibly Zhao, but he would get that story at another time). Zuko deserved all of the love he had to offer, and that was endless. 

“I just-I don’t understand. People don’t want me, it’s weird.” Zuko was trying not to panic, as much as he wants to be in a relationship with Sokka, he was terrified that what happened with Jet would happen again. But then again, with Jet, it started out with a feverish kiss and they never talked about feelings. 

“I know you don’t understand, but you will eventually, right now, we need to talk about a few things.” Sokka hoped that Zuko would take the bait, he didn’t expect the firebender to look so utterly terrified. 

“O-Okay?” Zuko knew this was coming, here’s where he says they can’t do anything in public because he doesn’t want to be seen with him, or when he tells him he has to obey to stay with him, and he will stupidly agree. 

“Hey, hey, calm down. I just want to talk about boundaries. You have a shitty ex, and an awful father who both treated you like shit, not to mention your sister. I want to make this comfortable for you.” Sokka was glad to see Zuko relax considerably, even if he did look confused at the thought of boundaries. He continued. “I’m going at your pace, I know you won’t hurt me at all, and I trust you. If I want to speed things along, I will ask first and I will read your body language, so don’t try to lie to appease me. I’m okay with as much as you’re willing to give me. This applies to everything, if you don’t want to touch, we don’t touch. If you don’t want to do anything in public because you’re not ready, we don’t. If you don’t want to tell the others, we don’t. I will never, ever, force anything onto you, you just need to tell me to stop if I forget myself. We can talk about this now, or we can figure it out as we go. I’m here for you, not anything else.” Sokka hoped it would be enough. 

Zuko was at a loss for words at this point, when he finally found them again there were very few. “Can we talk in the morning? I just want to sleep right now.” He said.

Sokka noticed that he seemed like he wanted to add something to the end so he tried to guess. “Okay, do you want to cuddle, or do you want to stay on your side?” He hoped that he had guessed right, but he wasn’t sure. 

“I-is that okay? To cuddle I mean?” Zuko asked. He was surprised that Sokka had got it so easily. Of course he wanted to cuddle, that wasn’t a question, and he learned from Toph that he should accept it from those willing to give it. Sokka was offering at this point, so he was going to accept against his self-deprecating thoughts if he said yes. 

“Yes Zuko, I want to cuddle, but only if you do. I’ll tell you if I’m not okay with something, but I don’t expect that to be an issue, like ever.” Sokka said. He pulled Zuko’s bedroll over next to his, already knowing that they were going to end up in each other’s arms shortly. He patted it and watched as the firebender awkwardly walked over. 

Zuko climbed onto his bedroll next to Sokka and tensed as he put an arm around his waist. He relaxed after a few minutes once he realized that Sokka wasn’t going to try and go any further like Jet had. He had all but melted into the embrace by the time he fell asleep to the soft sounds of Sokka’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm for reading this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed the way I had Sokka be fucking amazing with consent, and how Zuko let himself trust Sokka at night. I also like to believe that Sokka is amazing at reading Zuko's emotions (most of the time, apparently the exception is romantic feelings). I hope you enjoyed reading, and I can't wait to read all the comments! <3


	18. Toph Knows and Katara finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang reaches Ember Island, Toph and Katara find out about our new couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sorry guys. Life likes beating my ass too often. I meant to finish and upload this chapter last night, but I passed out at 6:30. I'm going to try and upload more frequently, but mental health issues seem to come in waves. I hope you enjoy this chapter and aren't too upset about the long wait.

By the time the three had reached Ember Island Zuko and Sokka had come up with a system for Zuko to use. He refused to verbally ask for cuddles or any other affection for that matter, so they made a tapping system. One tap is for a kiss (Zuko hadn't used that one yet), two taps are for a hug, three are for cuddles. If Sokka wants to have any of the above, he asks, in the two days they were flying Zuko only denied him twice, and both times it was because he was testing that Sokka would let him say no. 

They got to Ember Island just past sundown on their third day of traveling. They logically could've made it in one night, but everyone was a lot more comfortable with the breaks, and they still had almost two months until the comet. Usually, they would've made sure to land before sundown so they could set up camp, but they didn't have to that time. 

While everyone else set to removing Appa's saddle and gathering their supplies for a long stay, Zuko took it upon himself to go inside and light the candles and make sure his father's old room was locked and he would remember to tell them not to stay in it when they came inside and asked. He made quick work of lighting everything and starting to prepare the living spaces so they weren't so dusty and could comfortably be used. He found some non-perishable food in the pantry and set to making something quick. 

The rest of the group came in to see a bright house carefully lit with candles and smelling something being cooked. Everyone made their way towards the smell which they assumed was coming from the kitchen. 

Katara was the first to speak after seeing Zuko cooking for them. "I don't think I've ever seen you cook Zuko. I honestly didn't even know you could." Sokka glared at Katara, but he couldn't be too upset because he honestly had no argument for it. "Why did you decide to cook tonight?" Katara asked. 

"I didn't really do any of the work unloading, and I figured since we hadn't eaten yet I could cook something while you guys chose rooms. I'll take whatever is left." He went back to cooking before he realized it would be a good time to mention his father's room. "The room with the big doors was my fa-the Firelord's room, I locked it, but if any of you actually want his room I can unlock it again." He fully went back to cooking at that point expecting everyone to go claim a room and settle down until he called them for dinner, therefore he didn't expect to see his boyfriend coming up behind him and jumped. 

"Sorry Zu," Sokka said with a sheepish smile. "I didn't mean to startle you, I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay being here. I also kinda wanted to all about a few things, the others probably won't come back until dinner is ready." Sokka wanted to talk about whether or not they would share a room, and he also really really wanted to kiss him.

"I think I'm doing okay for right now, it was a bit much seeing my father's doors, but the kitchen is a comfort." He stepped away from his cooking and tapped Sokka's shoulder three times. 

"So what's the other reason for your cooking? I know you want to help, but I could tell that there was another reason." Sokka said while pulling the smaller teen into his arms. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, remember that." He said into his boyfriend's hair. 

"Yeah, I remember, but I want to tell you anyways. Whenever my dad would yell at me or hurt me my mom would hold me kinda like this and after I stopped crying we would cook me dinner, or bake something depending on whether I earned dinner or not." Zuko said this with his head buried in Sokka's shoulder. 

"Whether or not he let you eat dinner, not whether or not you earned it. Food isn't earned, I know you know that." Sokka said. He hoped that one day he would break through to him, but he swore to never get angry with him.

"I think I know that, I just don't believe it yet. I'm trying to get better." Zuko said. He really wanted to kiss Sokka, but he refused to initiate, he would be content with cuddles while he's allowed. 

"I know you're trying." Sokka said, before asking "Zuko, can I kiss you? Remember you're allowed to say no, we're going at your pace." He hoped Zuko said yes, but he wasn't going to push if he said no. 

Zuko couldn't bring himself to say it, instead, he tapped once on Sokka's shoulder and looked into his eyes leaning in but not closing the distance. He managed to nod when Sokka seemed to be looking for further confirmation. Before he could lean the rest of the way in Sokka's lips were on his own. 

Sokka didn't push it farther than Zuko wanted to go, he just enjoyed the feeling of his boyfriend's lips on his own. Zuko's mouth was warmer than normal and it was soft. It was a short kiss, but it was nice, something gives him the feeling they would've continued kissing if Zuko hadn't noticed the fire on the stove flaring with the kiss. 

Zuko had to tear himself out of the kiss when the stove flared. He stared into Sokka's crystal clear blue eyes for a few seconds before closing his eyes again and extinguishing the fire. "We should probably set the table and call the others. I may or may not have already put away the chairs we used to use as a family, I hope that's okay." 

"Yes, it's okay, whatever you need to do is okay. No one here will question what you need" Sokka said. He held his arms out, silently asking if Zuko wants a hug. Within seconds he had an armful of firebender. After about a minute they pulled apart and set the table. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The Gaang slowly makes their way downstairs and Sokka comes to get them. They would’ve gone to the dining room themselves, but the only rooms they’ve seen are the livingroom where the entrance is, the kitchen where Zuko was making dinner, and the top floor where they fought over bedrooms. They seemed stunned at the sheer size of the room. 

“I know it’s a little much, and we’ll probably end up eating the rest of our meals either in the kitchen, living room, or outside, but I wanted to do something nice so that means eating in a proper dining room,” Zuko said with a small smile. “I made a dish my mom taught me with significantly  _ less _ spice because you people apparently can’t handle it.” He was attempting a joke, but all he could muster was an awkward smile. He really hoped that they didn’t take it the wrong way. 

They all started laughing, which relaxed Zuko significantly, Toph was the first one to calm down enough to speak. “Sparky! I didn’t know you even knew what a joke was, let alone knew how to tell one. Why the fuck have you been hiding this from us?” Zuko just chucked and hoped that it was enough of an answer. Sokka was the one who came to his rescue, because, of fucking course he can read exactly what’s going on inside his head. 

“Let's eat guys, I think Zuko’s had enough firebending for the day, and I doubt that Aang wants to reheat all of our food when it gets cold.” Sokka hoped that he read his boyfriend right and was helping rather than making him feel incompetent. Zuko’s grateful smile was enough to confirm what he did was right. Sokka made sure to sit on Zuko’s left side, he wasn’t sure if Zuko had any impairments, but he knew what happened to his face wouldn’t have come from an accident like Katara thought so it might help with PTSD to have someone he trusts on that side. 

The Gaang ate their food in record time and almost everyone retreated to their rooms. Toph, Sokka, and Zuko were the only ones left. Toph was no longer eating, nor was she helping, but she seemed to be thinking something over. “You okay Toph?” Sokka finally asked after about five minutes of her thinking face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just want to ask something but can’t decide if it’s overstepping, nor can I decide if it’s any of my business in the first place,” Toph said. She always had a habit of getting straight to the point when it came to anything and everything. 

Sokka exchanged a look with Zuko silently asking if he was ok with her knowing. Zuko seemed to be thinking the same thing and gave a small nod. Sokka was the one to speak next. “I have a feeling that I know what you’re going to ask, and you should just get it over with,” Sokka said with a chuckle. He looked to Zuko once more for final confirmation, but he seemed determined.  _ Man does he look cute when he’s focused. Sokka, no, you have to be focused too. _

“Is there anything going on between the two of you other than friendship? Your hearts go crazy whenever you look at each other, but it doesn’t seem to be a nervous kind of fluttering.” 

Damnit, Toph figured it out. Sokka was about to blurt it out but then realized he wanted one last confirmation from Zuko. Before he even had a chance to turn Zuko’s hand was on his and he was nodding his head. “Yeah, there is, we got together a few days ago, but I’m not sure how comfortable Zuko is with telling the others yet.” Before he had the chance to ask Toph to keep it a secret, Zuko spoke up. 

“I think I’m ready to tell them. That is, if you are too.” Zuko said, the second part met with a blush. “But I don’t think I want to make a big deal out of it. You should tell Katara and I’ll tell Aang.” Zuko had a plan, he wanted to tell them the morning after they got together, but he was still nervous as hell that Sokka was going to do something like Jet. Sokka had to talk him through a panic attack that morning when he woke up with Sokka’s arm around his waist. 

“I’m good if you are, I just want you to be sure about this. Are you sure?” Sokka asked a question along that line every time Zuko mentioned something new. He would never tell him no unless he didn’t want to do it, but he didn’t want Zuko to do something just for him.

“Yes, Sokka, I’m sure. We should probably head to bed though, it sounds like tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Zuko knew Sokka made sure that he was on watch for nightmares that first night at Ember Island. Before Sokka could respond Toph spoke up. 

“You two better not keep me up fucking each other. I’m going to bed.” She wanted to make herself sound serious, but she was basically giggling on her way out so it didn’t work. Her giggling turned to cackling once she heard Zuko start sputtering. 

Sokka was about to turn to Zuko and ask if he wanted to share a room while they were there, but he was stopped before he could say anything. 

“Please don’t make me,” Zuko said in a voice that was barely a whisper. He hated Toph for bringing it up, now Sokka was going to make him do things like that. The more logical part of his brain was telling him that Sokka would never hurt him, but he wasn’t listening to that part. 

“Hey, hey. Zuko, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. We’re taking this at your speed. I’m sorry Toph brought it up, but I want you to remember that you have control here, you have the option to say no and I will stop.” Sokka knew Zuko was quickly approaching a panic attack and made a mental note to make a system for those as well so he could help his boyfriend. At that point in time, however, he could only hope that his words were helping. 

After Sokka confirmed that he wasn’t going to make him Zuko’s entire body relaxed. He quickly reached over and tapped Sokka twice. He needed a damn hug and he was going to ask for one in the only way he could. It wasn’t until he was safely within Sokka’s arms that he let himself cry tears of relief. He was apparently less there than he thought he was. He felt Sokka’s arms, and he felt his torso, he even felt the soothing circles being rubbed on his back, but apparently he was also being spoken to, and it took about 10 minutes for him to realize that. 

“Hey, Zu, you back with me now?” Sokka asked after realizing that Zuko had stopped shaking and crying. He felt a gentle nod against his shoulder. “You ready to go to bed? I can stay with you if you want or…” Sokka didn’t get to finish that sentence. 

“Stay” The word left Zuko’s mouth without his permission, his whole body tensed waiting for something to go wrong, instead he just felt Sokka’s hand starting to work soothing circles against his back again. 

“Of course. I wanted to, so you don’t have to freak out that I’m doing it out of obligation, but I just didn’t know if it would be too much or not. Especially after Toph’s comment.” He was going to leave it at that but he got a  _ great _ idea. “Want me to carry you up?” Sokka asked in the most innocent voice he could manage. Before he could accept that it would be a no, he was met with bright golden eyes staring into his own. 

“You’d do that for me? Like actually?” Zuko felt like a little kid wanting to be carried, but at that point, he was too tired and too lovestruck to give a shit about that. “I want to if you do,” Zuko added almost inaudible. 

“Yes you dum dum, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to, I just didn’t expect you to agree.” Sokka was so in love with the firebender pressed against him. Sokka made it clear what he was doing and gave ample time to be stopped before he picked Zuko up and carried him to the room he pointed to. He set him down lightly and they separated to change their clothes and crawled into bed together. 

Neither teenager had any nightmares that night. They slept peacefully in each other’s arms and let their bodies entangle. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Katara woke up early that morning, she planned to make breakfast, but she figured they could have the fruit that was going to rot soon so they didn’t waste it. She laid in her bed just thinking about what had happened the last week or so.  _ Zuko fought his damn sister and they both almost died. Why did it seem like he was the only one who didn’t see the problem with it? I can’t believe he thinks that’s a normal sibling relationship! _ Katara let her mind wander for a while, becoming more and more angry at Zuko.  _ No, not at Zuko, at the people who have hurt him, and at their group for not realizing how fucked up he was sooner _ . She should’ve realized that he was hurting when they were in jail together and he said they were going to kill him because he was in Fire Nation waters. 

Katara’s thoughts just kept pouring over the fact that none of them had put any thought into any of it. She realized that she never even bothered to find time to talk to him after what had happened that one night on rotation. She decided to make amends to that immediately as Zuko would probably be awake before any of them as usual. She set out knocking on doors trying to figure out which one he stayed in. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka woke up to a knocking at his door. He assumed it was Zuko or Aang, they’re the only two morning people. He stopped short though, Zuko was in his arms at that moment, just staring at him in shock, and Aang had no reason to be knocking at his door. They were going to tell Katara and Aang today, but this wasn’t how either of them wanted it to happen. Before Sokka could say anything to Zuko, he felt a tap on his shoulder, quickly followed by lips on his. It was over before he could even process it had happened. Zuko ducked behind a corner and Sokka answered the door. 

“What reason do you have for pounding on my door this early in the morning Katara?” Sokka was stunned to see her, but he was more annoyed than anything. 

“Sorry Sokka, I was looking for Zuko and realized I had no clue which room he chose. I was knocking on everyone’s door. Have you seen him?”

“I haven’t seen him since last night.” Sokka hoped the lie sounded believable. “Why are you looking for him so urgently that you felt the need to wake everyone?” He didn’t even have to make something up for that one, he had absolutely no idea why his sister was looking for his boyfriend at ridiculous o'clock. 

“I planned on talking to him about something that happened a while ago, but I forgot about it until now,” Katara said. “I suppose I could probably find him after breakfast. I’m sorry I woke you Sokka.” Before she walked away there was a hand on her arm. 

“Can I talk to you about something since we’re both awake? I need to get dressed first, but it’s kinda important. Well, to me at least.” He needed to tell her eventually, and he might as well do it while he’s still got enough confidence to attempt it. 

“Yeah, Sokka. You know you can always talk to me right? I’ll go make some quick breakfast for us two while you get ready.” Katara was excited that her brother was planning on opening up to her, but she was also worried, he doesn’t open up unless it’s something bad, or something he thinks might get him disowned by her. She doesn’t know what will eventually get him disowned, but she suspects that there is nothing he could do to earn it. 

As Katara made her way to get breakfast set up Sokka rushed back into his room. 

“Zuko, you can come out now.” He wanted to kiss his stupid boyfriend and let him know what was about to happen. 

“What was that about? It sounded like Katara, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her up that early.” Zuko was less curious about  _ who _ it was than why they were asking for  _ him. _

“It was Katara alright, she was saying something happened between you two a little while back and she never got around to talking to you about it. Apparently she was looking for you.” Sokka said while getting dressed. “I’m going to tell her about us over breakfast, which means you go hide in your room and pretend to sleep until I come get you so neither one of us dies today. You can tell Aang after jerkbending practice if you want. I’ll make sure Katara, Toph, and Suki are elsewhere. Just remember that if you aren’t ready to tell him, you don’t have to.”

“I know Sokka, but I want to be able to do  _ things _ with you around them and not have to hide anymore.” Zuko did  _ not _ whine at any point during that sentence. Just before Sokka was about to leave he tapped on Zuko’s shoulder just once. Zuko slammed into his mouth with no further hesitation. He honestly was starting to wish Sokka would stop asking. 

Sokka was surprised, to say the least, but he wasn’t complaining. He had a firebender holding onto him like it was the only thing keeping him alive, and kissing him like it could right every wrong in the world. Sokka didn’t pull away for quite a while if he was being honest. The only reason he did in the end was because Katara was calling him again. “We aren’t done with this. I wanna keep going when I get back Zu. Is that okay?” 

“Sokka, I’m changing the rules. Don’t ask in private, just fucking kiss me. If we’re alone, don’t ask unless it seems risky to you, or I’m in a bad headspace.” Zuko almost growled that sentence, but he turned bright red and curled in on himself after realizing that he had lost control and just let his mouth run. “I-” He was going to apologize, but it was cut off by a kiss. 

Sokka had hoped that Zuko would tell him that. He knew that there really wasn't a chance that he would get to do it in public anytime soon, but he'll take what he can get. "Don't apologize for telling me what you want. I want to give you the fucking world, so if you want this then you'll get it. But I really have to go talk to Katara now, I don't need her coming up and seeing you." Sokka kissed him once more before going down to talk with Katara. 

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, sorry it took so long. What did you make?" Sokka hopes they the fruit he saw on the table wasn't all they were having. 

"I'm having fruit, you're having fruit and some seal jerky because I don't wanna listen to you complain. Now sit and tell me what you wanna talk about." Katara was unbelievably curious as to what he wanted to say. 

"I may or may not have started dating someone…" Sokka was going to delay this as long as he possibly could. He would do anything for Zuko, but he wasn't going to tell Katara outright. 

"Okay… I wasn't aware that you and Suki broke up, but now you have to tell me who this girl is." This was good news for her talking to Zuko. She could just say that he was involved with someone else instead of telling him Sokka's straight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm so so sorry. I hope you enjoyed this and I'll try to upload more often. I hope the length of this one makes up for how long it took to upload. It was kinda a filler chapter where nothing too big happened, but we got some fluff and some of Katara being an amazing sister. Once again, I hope you enjoyed, and I can't wait to read the comments. <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aang finds out and they give Katara the oogies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this one doesn't disappoint. I'm trying to channel the fluff for a few chapters before things get serious again. I hope you all enjoy and I can't thank you enough for all the comments on the last chapter. <3

_ “Okay… I wasn’t aware that you and Suki Broke up, but now you have to tell me who this girl is.” _

“Um…. That’s the thing… It’s not-It's not, a _girl_ …” Sokka was praying to Tui and La that Katara wouldn’t have a problem with it. 

“Okayyy. You still haven’t told me who he is. And I really hope you weren’t worried about me being mad about that.” Katara’s curiosity was killing her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of her brother thinking she would turn on him for something as simple as who he loves. 

“Maybe I was worried just a little bit, but the next part is the part that scares me,” Sokka said truthfully. He was relieved that Katara didn’t care that it was a guy, but she hated Zuko for the longest time. 

“Just get on with it. As long as it isn’t Aang I’ll be okay with it. And I really really doubt that you’re dating my boyfriend.” Katara said that last part with a smile. She knew they thought of each other as brothers, and her relationship was safe. 

“Ew Katara! He’s too young for me, and he’s like a little brother.” Sokka couldn’t believe she brought that up, but he knew he had to keep going before he lost his nerve. “Uh, as for who I’m dating. I-uh-It’s… Zuko…” Sokka cringed waiting for Katara to start yelling. 

“Okay. Why were you so worried? You just made my life a hell of a lot easier. That was the whole reason I needed to talk to Zuko, and you two were already best friends. I honestly can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. You always used to crush on the older guys before they left.” Katara was relieved. She really did not want to have that conversation with Zuko.  _ ‘Hey Zuko, I need to talk to you about you having a wet dream about my brother last month, just so you know, he’s straight’.  _ Yeah, there’s absolutely no way that would’ve gone well. 

“You wanted to talk to Zuko, about me? Why?! Also, what do you mean I  _ “crushed on the older guys” _ I never did that. I just admired them for their strength!” Sokka had so many thoughts racing through his mind at that point. What the hell was his sister planning on talking about with him? And why did she think he had crushes on the warriors of his tribe? They totally weren’t crushes, he only thought they looked cool (and maybe a little pretty but no one has to know about that). There was nothing other than admiration of them. 

Katara was snickering at that point. “Sure Sokka, whatever you say. But I’m not going to tell you why I was going to talk to Zuko because I don’t want it influencing how you feel about him or how you treat him. He’ll tell you on his own eventually if he wants to. And don’t worry it was nothing bad. But I do have to issue my sister threats next time I see him, so you might want to tell him to brace himself.” Katara couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. 

“I’m going to go talk to him now. I’ll send the other kids down for breakfast, but I need you to do me a couple favors.” Sokka needed Katara to go easy on Zuko, he was fully prepared to deal with a panic attack, but that doesn’t mean he wants to. He could never wish that on his boyfriend. 

“Alright, what do you need?” Katara asked as she turned to start getting the rest of the food set out. She was prepared to do just about whatever Sokka asked, he never asked anything too hard and he had just opened up to her. 

“When you talk to Zuko, take it easy on him please, he gets panic attacks easy and I don’t want you to be the cause of one, because then I’ll have to pull protective boyfriend mode on you.” Sokka took a minute to chuckle at his own joke, “As for the second one, don’t tell Aang, Toph found out yesterday, but Zuko is going to tell Aang today. I was going to tell both of you but he thought it would only be fair if we each told one of you.”

“Yeah, I can do that Sokka. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.” Katara wasn’t usually affectionate with her brother, their love wasn’t shown through hugs, it was shown through wrestling and play fights, but sometimes she hugged him, and this was one of those times. When she finally pulled away from him she looked him in the eyes and said, “Now go find your boyfriend and send the others down you big dummy.” 

Sokka gave her another quick hug before turning around and going upstairs. He needed to wake the others and warn Zuko before Katara got to him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko was sitting on the bed they shared the night before. Neither of them had picked rooms, they just shared one, and although he wanted to keep sharing, he wasn’t sure how Sokka would feel about that. Zuko’s downward spiral was cut off when Sokka entered the room. 

“I thought you were going to pretend to sleep in the other room,” Sokka said with a smirk. 

“I also thought you wanted to continue what we started before you left. I got dressed and came back.” Zuko tried to say it in a sultry manner, but he failed miserably when he blushed and looked away. 

Sokka loved Zuko’s blush, he couldn’t get enough of it. “I really really do want to continue that, but now probably isn’t the best time. Katara wants to give you the usual sibling threats, and I have to send the others down to breakfast. You wanna come with me?” Sokka asked. He doubted that Zuko would want to before he told Aang.

“I actually wanted to ask you for a favor,” Zuko said. He cringed away as if those words were almost painful. “Actually, nevermind. It’s stupid. 

It hurt Sokka that Zuko wasn’t willing to ask him for favors. “It’s not stupid Zu. Just ask me and I’ll do it. I want to do it, all you have to do is say it.” Sokka would move a mountain as a nonbender for this man. 

“I-I was going to ask if, um, maybe, you’d be willing to tell Aang with me. I mean, I know I said I would, I’m just really really nervous.” Zuko’s blush returned with a vengeance. 

“Of course you big dummy. I figured we’d tell them all at once over dinner or something, but then Toph found out. I’m going to go send her for breakfast then we can tell Aang before we send him down, unless you want to wait.” Sokka wanted to make Zuko comfortable, no matter what. 

“Thank you, Sokka. I think it’d be best if we get it over with now. Aang’s probably been awake long enough that he won’t be upset. I’ll wait for you outside Toph’s door while you wake her.” Zuko said. He was relieved that Sokka was so caring. He didn’t want to burden him, but he made it sound like it almost hurt him that Zuko wasn’t asking him for a favor, which, he didn’t understand, but he wasn’t going to upset Sokka. 

“Alright. Let's go.” Sokka said grabbing his boyfriend's hand. He paused before leaving their room, and asked him if it was okay, in response, Zuko tugged them down the hall. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko and Sokka were standing hand in hand outside Aang's door. Sokka gave Zuko's hand a reassuring squeeze and separated them. Sokka knocked on the door and waited. 

Aang answered his door to see both Zuko and Sokka standing there. "What's up guys? Is breakfast finally ready?" Aang was confused, but that didn't subdue his blinding smile. 

"Breakfast is ready, but we wanted to all to you for a minute. We can wait until after breakfast if you're hungry." Sokka wasn't going to keep the kid from eating, but they were going to talk at some point before lunchtime.

"We can talk now, I'm never hungry in the mornings, I just eat so I'm not starving by lunch. Zuko always gets annoyed at me when I cut practice short for food." And smirked at Zuko as he said that. "Come in," he said as he stepped away from the door. 

Aang noticed a distinct difference between the two teens. Whereas Sokka threw himself into his bed, Zuko stood awkwardly in the corner as if trying to disappear. After a few seconds Sokka sat up and patted the bed next to him while looking at Zuko. He reluctantly walked over and sat gingerly on the bed. 

Aang flopped into the chair in his room. "So, what do you guys need to all about?" Aang was growing more curious the longer that the silence went on. He watched as Zuko gave Sokka a helpless look. Apparently Sokka got the message and started talking. 

"We wanted to talk about ourselves I guess… We're kinda together." Sokka said and he felt his skin flush. 

If Aang thought Sokka was blushing, it was nothing compared to Zuko. His scar started to blend in. "GUYSS!" Aang yelled but quieted down after seeing Zuko flinch violently. "Since when! And why didn't you tell me sooner?! This is awesome!" He was so happy for his friends, even Aang could see the looks they'd been giving each other for weeks. 

Sokka was the one to speak up again, he saw that his boyfriend had been panicking instead of listening since Aang yelled. "It's been a couple days, we didn't tell you because we weren't planning on telling anyone yet, Toph found out last night and I told Katara a few minutes before we came in here. Zuko was going to tell you, but we decided we would do it together.” Sokka had felt the three taps on his leg. He grabbed Zuko’s hand knowing that he wouldn’t want to be cuddled with fully in public, but Zuko surprised him. 

Zuko took Sokka’s hand and wrapped it around his shoulders. He leaned into Sokka’s side and allowed his scent and warmth to consume him while he and Aang talked. It was nice, he hadn’t heard most of the conversation after Aang had yelled, but he could tell it wasn’t bad. Aang was smiling and Sokka sounded excited at some points and calm at others. When he finally tuned in it seemed like the conversation was ending. 

“I’m really really happy for you two!” Aang said. “Are you okay Zuko? I’m really sorry I yelled, I should’ve thought before I did. I know you don’t do well with yelling.” 

Sokka was about to speak but Zuko seemed to finally come back to the conversation so he waited. 

“It’s okay Aang, I’m sorry I freaked out,” Zuko said, he then turned to Sokka.    
And I’m sorry I used you as a pillow.” Zuko added with a sheepish smile. 

“Hey, none of that. I’m glad to be your pillow Zu. I enjoy it” Sokka said. He loved seeing his boyfriend blush, and it was just so easy, all he had to do was be nice to him. When he thought about the reasoning it got sad, but he chose to avoid the reasoning behind it at that moment. 

“Don’t apologize Zuko, it really was my fault, and in case you didn’t hear the first part, I’m really happy for you two. I honestly saw it coming, it was just a matter of waiting for you to come to your senses. I saw it  _ weeks  _ ago!” Aang started to get loud again, but he realized before he started yelling. 

“Thank’s Aang. Now, are you two ready for breakfast? I know I’m ready for my second breakfast!” Sokka said. He loved making Aang laugh and Zuko chuckle. Sokka had yet to hear Zuko laugh without restraint, and he knew he was holding back. It was his mission to make Zuko laugh without feeling the need to hide it. 

“We can go eat now Sokka,” Aang said when he’d finally calmed down. He stood and walked  _ no _ ran out of the room towards the kitchen. 

Sokka took the next few seconds they had to ask Zuko a question. “Hey Zu, wanna give them the oogies at the breakfast table?”

“Totally, but… I-Idon’treallywannakissifhtat’sokay” Zuko said the last part as fast as was humanly possible, but, of course, Sokka understood him. 

“Zu, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Something gives me the feeling there’s a specific reason you don’t want to though. You wanna talk about it? It’s perfectly fine if you don’t.” Sokka always put that after every personal question and question about consent now. He knows how it can feel like you have to answer sometimes. 

“Uh… Yeah.” Zuko said. He wanted to tell him, but it felt really stupid. “Jet used to kiss me around others just so there was no way I could find someone else who would treat me better. I was never given any warning. He would just catch someone looking at me with anything other than disgust and then forcefully pull me against him and kiss me. I hated it.” As he said this, he started to tremble lightly. 

Sokka put his arm back around Zuko lightly so he had the chance to pull away if he didn’t want touched, but he leaned into it instead. “Jet was an ass. We don’t have to kiss, but if you change your mind you know how to let me know. Now, let’s go get some breakfast.” Sokka finished his sentence and placed a small kiss on his boyfriend’s lips before standing up and leading the two of them to breakfast hand in hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka and Zuko put on a show that day at breakfast. Katara kept sending them weird looks, but neither of them stopped until she said something. 

“Come on you two. We’re trying to eat here. Aang and I aren’t even that bad!” Katara said. She was trying to sound annoyed, but she couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her face. Sokka wasn’t even that lovestruck with Suki or Yue, it was nice to see him so happy. 

Zuko squeezed his hand harder at Katara’s comment. He took it as a signal to talk for the both of them. “You two are totally that bad. And we were just doing it to get you to say something anyway, we aren’t actually this bad.” Sokka said with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, all you two do is cuddle and encourage each other. You do that more than you train waterbending.” Zuko said with a shy smile. He wasn’t used to teasing, but he supposed now was the time to get used to it because the entire purpose of this conversation was to tease. 

Katara scoffed at his words but she still couldn’t cover up the smile on her face. “Well, you’ve been awfully quiet Toph. What do  _ you _ think?” She was hoping to have at least one other person on her side, knowing that Aang would forever be a pacifist and avoid siding with either one of them. 

“If I’m being honest, I haven’t been paying attention,” Toph said. Suddenly all eyes were on her and her barely touched food. 

“Is there something wrong? You’ve barely eaten.” Katara said with genuine concern, having forgotten the previous argument completely. 

“I’m fine Katara, stop worrying. I’m just confused.” Toph said turning to the new couple. “I can’t figure out for the life of me what the taps mean. You’ve been tapping each other’s legs randomly since you got down here. And now, once I mentioned it, Sparky’s heart rate skyrocketed.” She said all of this with a tone that no one knew she was capable of. Somehow worry, mixed with curiosity, mixed with demanding an answer.

Sokka was going to explain after seeing his boyfriend’s face flush crimson but Zuko beat him to it. 

“Oh, I uh, I’m not good with asking for things… That’s what that was.” Zuko said. He hated that he didn’t have more of an explanation, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Sokka could fill in the details if questions were asked. He didn’t think he was capable of explaining what the taps meant. 

“That’s very… Vague. Care to explain?” Katara asked. She figured Zuko would be the one to do so but she watched him squeeze her brother’s hand and the conversation switched to him. 

“One tap is for a kiss, two taps is for a hug, and three are for cuddles. After what he’s been through, asking for things is a little rough, so we made a compromise.” Sokka said this with a nonchalance he didn’t know he was capable of. 

“That’s really cool guys!” Aang said. He had finally taken a break from eating and observing deciding that talking wouldn’t get him into the previous argument. He watched Zuko flush a darker shade and decided that that was enough and steered the conversation back to his bending. 

Zuko was grateful for Aang distraction because it gave him the chance to do something he’d wanted to do since Katara made a joke about them showing affection. With the attention off of the two, he got Sokka’s attention. Once Sokka turned to him he kissed him without a second thought. 

Sokka let out a surprised sound when soft lips crashed into his own, but he quickly melted into it. He would take whatever Zuko would give him. They broke away sooner than they would’ve liked, but longer than they should have given the current company. Apparently no one had paid any attention to it though, so Sokka spoke quietly to Zuko.”Not that I’m complaining Zu, but what was that about?” 

“They didn’t care, they were teasing, but they really didn’t care. I shouldn’t have been worried.” Zuko said with a huge smile. “Andithinkiloveyou,” He said as quickly and softly as he could. He was really hoping that Sokka hadn’t heard, but he knew even if he didn’t, he would clarify when asked. 

Sokka tapped his boyfriend once and waited for the nod of confirmation. After he got it he kissed Zuko again. “I love you too Zu,” Sokka whispered just as quietly but much clearer. The two sat in silence just looking at each other for a few minutes before Sokka spoke up again. “This morning is Earth bending. Wanna go for a walk on the beach?” Sokka asked. 

“Yes,” Zuko said before giving Sokka another peck on the lips and dragging him outside by the hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave feedback in the comments as to what you enjoy in this story, I have a vague idea of where it's going, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't wait to read all the comments! <3<3
> 
> Edit: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! How in the fuck do I have over 18.5k hits?! Y'all are fucking awesome! Thank you! <3<3<3


	20. AndIThinkILoveYou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff... That's literally all it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just really needed to write some fluff for these boys. So... I did. Hope you enjoy. I haven't really figured out where I want to go with the next chapter, but it's either going to be hurt/comfort, angst, or smut. Feel free to lmk what you want if you have anything specific. I have a chapter idea for all three, so you'll get them eventually. I'm leaning towards smut, but believe me, you guys have a lot of input in it. Once again, I hope you enjoy, and I'll leave you to read now. <3<3

Sokka and Zuko walked together for about two hours before they returned to the house. When they weren't enjoying the quiet sounds of the beach they talked about random things going on in their lives. They decided to do maintenance on their swords after lunch, but that required a trip into town to get supplies. 

"Katara! We're back and we need money!" Sokka called when they got inside. He was disappointed to feel Zuko drop his hand, but they hadn't let go since they left. 

"I'm gonna go upstairs and make a list of things we need. Good luck with your sister" Zuko was fully ready to ditch his boyfriend's sister. She was terrifying when she wants to be. He pecked Sokka on the cheek and fled the room before Katara could get there. 

"Good to know your gonna ditch me with my sister!" Sokka called after his boyfriend chuckling. 

"What do you mean? Why did he ditch you?" Katara asked with all the fierceness of a person about to commit murder. 

"First off, calm down, second of all, we need money so we can get stuff to repair our swords with. He left me to do it alone while he made a list of the stuff we're going to need." Sokka's smile still hadn't left his face but it was subdued after hearing Katara's tone. 

"Oh… Sorry. How much will you need? We have a ton after going through the house. It's amazing how easy it is for rich people to leave money lying around." Katara said. She looked sheepish, but she wasn't too guilty, she was just protecting her older brother. 

"Not sure, that's why I was a little annoyed at him leaving, but I can't blame him. You terrify him and you haven't even given out threats yet. We could just take some of what we found here and whatever is left we can spend on new firenation clothes so we blend in better." Sokka suggested. He heard Zuko running back down the stairs apparently having finished his list and deeming it safe to come down. 

"Hey, I finished the list. We don't need much, but I should probably replace my sharpening stone too. It's more of a pebble now." Zuko hadn't been paying attention when he came down but when he finally looked up from the list he blushed seeing Katara was still there. 

Sokka chuckled but asked him how much money they would need. 

"We should be okay with two or three silver pieces if we have them. I might be able to stretch one if we have to, but it wouldn't be easy." Zuko said. His blush had lessened but still wasn't gone and he sounded a lot more awkward when he knew he was talking to both of them. 

"I'll give you two gold pieces, but I want you to pick up the stuff on the shopping list first, the rest is yours for your sword stuff and whatever else you want," Katara said. She'd been smiling since Zuko flew into the front room. He was ridiculously awkward whenever he's caught having emotions. 

"Okay. Thanks Katara" Sokka said. He turned to Zuko as soon as she left the room. "You ready to leave when she gets back?" He asked. 

"Uh, yeah… I didn't realize you were still talking to her…" Zuko said, his blush appearing again. "Sorry"

"Don't apologize babe." Sokka was trying to be comforting but he blushed just as hard when he realized he used a pet name. 

"That's new," Zuko said softly. 

"Uh… yeah, it just kinda slipped out. Is that okay?" Sokka asked. He didn't want to make Zuko uncomfortable, but if he wasn't, he was definitely going to use it more often. 

"I.. I kinda like it…" Zuko mumbled. He seemed to blush darker. 

"Then I'll make sure to use more names like that," Sokka said as katara came back. 

"Here you go. Don't forget to get the stuff on our list first unless you don't want dinner this week" Katara was smiling at the fact that Zuko was still blushing. "I'll leave you two to be oogie without me." She joked. 

"Alright. See you around dinner!" Sokka called after her. "I have a question for you. Do you care if I call you stuff like that around everyone else?" Sokka asked, turning to his boyfriend. 

"I don't think it will be an issue, but if they react badly I'm gonna want it to stop," Zuko said. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, and you have to let me know if you want me to stop doing it, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to tell if you're uncomfortable," Sokka said with an easy smile. He grabbed Zuko's hand and pulled him gently towards the door. 

"Okay." He responded softly with a small smile. They left for the market with their two lists and three gold pieces. 

~~~~~~~~~~

At the market, they quickly got through Katara's extensive list and put it all into a few bags they brought with them. After gathering everything katara needed they headed for a weapons store to get what they needed. Sokka turned to Zuko.

"What all do we need to get? I'm pretty sure firenation swords made of metal need different things than our bone spears down south" Sokka joked. He watched his boyfriend light up at the mention of something he loves. 

"Alright, here were going to get a small amount of silver that I can melt to fill any nicks or cracks in the swords. I am going to get some new handle wraps, you can too if you need them but I'm not sure if you do or not. We both need a sharpening stone, cleaner, and oil. I also need a new scabbard, mines over 2 years old and is falling apart. I think that's it. We'll probably need to go somewhere else for the pot and tools for the silver though." Zuko knew he was rambling, but Sokka never seemed annoyed by it. If he was more confident, he might say Sokka enjoyed it, but alas, he wasn't. 

Sokka had no clue what Zuko was talking about. All Piando had told him was basic maintenance, he was never told about long term care. "I'm gonna be honest here, I wasn't told about 90% of this stuff. I only trained with Piando for 3 days. I know how to clean it, and I know how I made it, but that's it. You might have to help me out with this, but it sounds like you know what you're doing." Sokka said. 

"Yeah, I can do that if you need help. We were going to do it together anyways." Zuko smiled as he spoke. "Do you at least know if you need a new handle wrap?" He asked. 

"Not really, I'm not sure how to tell. Could you tell?" Sokka asked preparing to pull out his sword. 

"Sure," Zuko said. He took Sokka's sword when it was offered to him and made a few moments before speaking again. "You don't need one now, but you'll probably need one again before the comet, it'll probably be best to get one now so you can break it in and get used to it since I doubt we'll end up with the same material as this one." He had no clue how long that material would last, so he used his knowledge based on his weapons. 

"Okay, let's go," he said as they approached the door. After entering, the two boys stood looking around. Zuko seemed to know what he was doing so Sokka just followed. 

Zuko was grabbing the things they would both need, and Sokka was following. Zuko liked being in charge for once, especially when it was something he was so passionate about. After getting the basics that they would share he walked them over to the sharpening stones. "Go ahead and pick one, we have one gold piece and two silver left. If you've never used one before just pick one you like, they all work basically the same." Zuko said while already picking out the one he's been using since about a month after starting swords. 

Sokka wasn't really paying attention to most of what Zuko was grabbing. He was just watching him move. He always moved in an almost undetectable way, graceful and light, even when he was fighting. It was rare that he made any noise at all when walking. Zuko didn't seem to be looking for an answer, so Sokka just grabbed the nearest one that didn't look complicated. "This one good?" He asked

Zuko looked over and saw that he had picked the first one Zuko had when he was 6. He had used it for about a year before experimenting with other ones. "Yeah, it's actually the same as the one I used when I started with swords. I used it for about a year before I had the basics down enough to experiment with what I personally liked.” Zuko said. 

“Well, at least one of us knows how to use it,” Sokka said with a chuckle. “What’s next?” He asked after a small silence. 

“Next is the handle wraps. They’re on the other side of the store.” Zuko said as he turned in the right direction. Before he started walking again, he turned towards Sokka and stared into his eyes contemplating something. 

After about 10 seconds of Zuko just staring into his eyes, he spoke up. “You okay there babe?” He asked. It was crazy how quickly the pet name slipped out of his mouth. He was going to ask again when Zuko didn’t answer, but he didn’t get the chance before Zuko kissed him and walked off. 

Zuko was proud of himself, not only did he kiss Sokka in public, but he didn’t blush until he was turned around, and he left Sokka stunned for a few seconds before he heard him jogging back towards his side. “You need to pick a material and color. They’ll all be big enough to cover your handle, I can cut the bigger ones down when we get back to camp.” Zuko said as he grabbed his own black cotton wraps. 

Sokka had been struggling to form words after hearing how nonchalant Zuko sounded after that. He spluttered for a few seconds before giving up and picking out a light blue silk wrap and following Zuko to the counter to pay. Zuko seemed so… okay after that, Sokka was still struggling to form complete thoughts until he got to the counter where Zuko was having a conversation with the clerk. 

Zuko was struggling to hold back his laughter. Sokka didn’t seem capable of forming words, or even thoughts. It sent a strange sense of pride through him at the fact that he was capable of doing that to Sokka too with how often his boyfriend did it to him. He finished paying and left for the beach house with two silver pieces left. “You alright there Sokka? You haven’t spoken since we got the handle wraps.” Zuko said once they were well on their way out of the town. He couldn't keep the pride and amusement out of his voice. 

“I-I think so?” Sokka had finally found his words, but he cringed at the way his voice cracked and he stuttered. “How are you okay? You’ve never done anything like that before.” This shy boy who had freaked out after waking up with Sokka’s arm around him just kissed him in the middle of a sword shop in the firenation without any prior warning. 

Zuko just gigged. He doesn’t giggle, but he felt his face flush when he did. “I seemed to have a strange moment of confidence, which was spurred on when you called me babe and then you were so stunned that my pride overpowered my embarrassment, it still is kinda,” Zuko responded with. He probably wouldn’t have said any of that if he wasn’t still riding the serotonin high that he got when Sokka froze.

“O-oh… I think probably is, to be honest. I think that’s the most bold thing you’ve said since we started dating.” Sokka said with a wide smile. He was ridiculously happy that Zuko was becoming more confident in showing affection, and because Sokka hadn’t once pushed him, Zuko wasn’t feeling pressured to accept things like hand-holding and kissing, which, ironically, meant it happened more often. 

“Probably,” Zuko said with a small blush. He reached over and grabbed Sokka’s hand. They spent the rest of the walk in comfortable silence. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of them arrived back at the beach house just after everyone had finished lunch. They put the bags with the stuff Katara wanted on the kitchen table, which they’ve taken over since that first night, and called her down while they went onto the back deck to work on their swords. 

Zuko ended up helping Sokka with most of his repairs, but he didn’t mind because it meant they spent more time together and touched more often. After he had finished filling the cracks on his swords he went to do the same for Sokka’s, but apparently meteorite is ridiculously strong. They cleaned and oiled their swords side by side with Zuko correcting Sokka occasionally. When it got to the wrapping however, Zuko had Sokka practice on one of his dao since he grabbed extra cotton and it was cheaper than the other stuff. Sokka was surprisingly good at it and was able to wrap his own sword with no difficulty. 

Sokka had just finished wrapping his sword and turned to see Zuko undoing the work on his own dao. “Hey, it wasn’t that bad was it?” Sokka was kinda upset that he felt the need to redo it. 

“Nonono. Sokka, it was perfect, it was just different than I’m used to. I always have the seams on the front where it sits against my knuckles. It’s a personal preference, it had nothing to do with your wrapping I promise.” Zuko was terrified that he’d upset Sokka. He reached for Sokka’s hand and held it reassuringly. 

“Okay. I just thought maybe I did something wrong and you didn’t want to tell me.” Sokka said. Before Zuko could get the chance to retaliate, he kissed his cheek and watched him blush. “Ready for lunch Zu?” He asked. 

“Y-yeah.” He said standing up and walking into the kitchen. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful and Zuko went to bed happily within Sokka’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! I look forward to the comments and hopefully some insight into what you would prefer for the next chapter. I can't guarantee that it won't be what I started today, nor can I guarantee that it won't be all three options, but I still want your input so I can try to cater the fic towards you guys. Tysm for reading, and have a great day/evening/night! <3 <3 <3
> 
> (As a side note, I love the word oogie for no reason, sorry.)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko wants some time alone every once in a while, and Sokka wants to help him when he needs it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... I'm not sure what happened to what I was planning on writing, but this is what the result was. Hope you enjoy anyways! Feel free to follow me on tumblr @aubriravenclaw for updates on the fic and if there are any delays on getting a chapter up.

It had been a few days since they arrived at Ember Island. Sokka was nursing blisters from the fresh wrap on his sword, and Zuko was working on incorporating his firebending into his sword fighting. Sokka always watched him practice saying encouraging things and giving him kisses when he took a break. No matter how many times Sokka asked Zuko to just take a day off, he knew he couldn’t. He needed to be tired before he had to face something he really didn’t want to. 

It had been well over two weeks since he last dealt with his libido. It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed it, but he had no clue how to deal with it without feeling like he was leading Sokka on or hiding it from him completely. Zuko kept almost talking to Sokka about it but then chickening out. He’d have to deal with it one way or another though if he didn’t want to make it weird. 

Zuko was acting strange. Sokka had noticed it the day before. He was being weird with touch even when he asked for it, he angled his body away from him and just that morning, he extracted himself from the bed and rushed into the bathroom. Normally he would’ve played the last part off as just needing to pee, but whenever he had done that, he was always more careful. He needed to confront his boyfriend to make sure he wasn’t making him uncomfortable. 

Sokka took his opportunity as soon as Zuko got out of the bathroom. “Hey, is everything okay? You’ve been acting strange the last couple days.” He wasn’t going to push if Zuko didn’t want to talk, but based on the blush that just crossed his face rather than fear, it was embarrassing, not something that Sokka had done wrong. 

“I’m fine, just have a small problem. You don’t need to worry about it.” Zuko was mentally face-palming because he let slip that he was having a problem. Sokka was going to want to help, and even if he wanted to, he wasn’t ready to accept help with this specific problem. 

“What’s the problem. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me Zu.” He said. Sokka hated when Zuko hid things from him, but he wasn’t sure if he needed to be worried or not. This didn’t seem too severe, but it seemed like it was something he was conditioned to hide by either Jet or his father. 

“Uh… It’s really nothing. You don’t have to worry about it.” Zuko knows logically that Sokka would never do anything against his will, but he wasn’t so sure how he would react if Zuko told him no about this. 

“It’s something that’s bothering you, so I want to help. Even if that help is only in the form of words.” Sokka said. He figured it was something to do with touch based on the way he had been acting the last couple days. Things were piecing together in his mind, but he still needed his boyfriend to confirm that he needed some time alone to fix said problem. 

“Promise you won’t touch?” Zuko knew words might hurt just as much, but he figured as long as Sokka didn’t touch he would be fine. 

“I promise Zuko. Now, please tell me what’s bothering you. I really do want to help, even if that means leaving you alone.” Sokka really needed Zuko to start talking to him about these things. If he was right, the reason why he was hiding it made him want to simultaneously cry, and rip Jet to pieces. 

“O-okay. U-Um… Do you. Do you remember the arrangement we had at the Air Temple?” Zuko was going to avoid saying it as long as he possibly could. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in Sokka’s eyes, or chance being broken up with. 

“Yes, I do,” Sokka said. “Is that what this is about?” He asked. He hated that Zuko was so afraid of how he would react. He could see the fear in his eyes as he spoke. He saw Zuko give a small nod. “Okay, first of all, I want to remind you that I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do. I’m here for you, everything else we do it just a bonus.” Sokka gave a small smile as he said the last part, and congratulated himself after he watched Zuko relax a little. “Second of all. I need to know how you want to proceed. I can leave you alone to deal with it, I can help you deal with it, or I can do something else if you have a different idea. Please remember that I’m okay with all of these. I’m not going to be upset if you want to do this on your own” Sokka reminded him

“Um… C-Can you let me do it on my own. Just for now? Are you sure you won’t be mad?” Zuko was more relieved than he could express, but he wasn’t quite able to believe what was being said. 

“Yes, babe. I’m not doing anything that you aren’t comfortable with. I will never be angry at you for not being ready or even interested in something that I want to do, or not being ready for something that you might even want to do. Sex is mental, that’s something I’ve learned. It isn’t just pleasing your physical body, that’s why we are capable of doing it ourselves. Do you want me to leave you alone now, or do you want to wait until tonight?” Sokka asked. He wanted to just pull his boyfriend into an embrace, but he figured that it would make things worse, and he did promise that he wouldn’t touch him. 

“Now please.” Zuko outwardly cringed at how desperate he sounded, but if he was being honest with himself, it directly reflected how he felt. He heard Sokka chuckle, apparently he heard the desperation in his voice too.

“Okay. I’m going to go take a shower in the bathroom down the hall, there aren’t any rooms particularly near here so you should be fine with noise. I’ll grab my clothes now and I’ll leave you be until Katara finishes breakfast. Feel free to come find me before then.” Sokka said. Before he left, he asked a question. “Can I kiss you?” He wouldn’t have asked if Zuko hadn’t told him not to touch beforehand. 

Zuko found himself nodding, and he had lips pressed against his own before he could think. His body reacted and suddenly he was pressed against Sokka. He was more relieved than he cared to admit when Sokka pulled away. 

“I’m going to go shower now. Have fun.” Sokka said with a sly smile. His face went against everything in his head. His face screamed confidence while his entire mind was reeling. Now he had his own issue to deal with in the shower, but he was proud of himself for pulling away. He had felt Zuko tense as soon as he realized what he had done, and he can’t blame him for it. He left to take his shower before he could overhear anything he wasn’t supposed to. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka had showered and dealt with his problem in under 20 minutes. He was now sitting at the kitchen table with his quill and a paper that he’d been working on for a while. He knew Zuko wasn’t mentally stable, so he’d been working on developing a system like their taps that let him know how to help Zuko during panic attacks and other mental health episodes. Sokka also knew that he would have to be enough mental support for Zuko and himself until this was over and they could get professional help from actual adults. 

Sokka had almost finished sorting out the small issues when Zuko came down. He had apparently showered and was giving him an awkward smile and wave. It reminded Sokka of when Zuko had first joined. “Did you sort yourself out?” Sokka asked with a mischievous smile. He watched proudly as his boyfriend’s face turned scarlet. He heard a mumbled ‘yes’ as he came over and sat down with their legs touching, which further proved his answer. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Zuko spoke up. “What are you working on?” He asked. He had been staring at the paper in front of Sokka the whole time, only growing more and more confused. He thought he would’ve been able to figure out what it was if there were full words on the paper. Apparently Sokka had his own shorthand, and there were very few people in the world who would ever be able to understand it. 

“I’m working on something for you. It’s almost finished, I’ll rewrite it without all the abbreviations when I’m finished so you can understand it. I really hope it helps.” Sokka had been working on this since he had seen Zuko’s last panic attack, even if he only started actually making it something understandable a couple days beforehand. 

“Wanna explain it to me? I have nothing better to do, and even if I did, I don’t think I’d want to move regardless.” Zuko says. He punctuated his sentence with a kiss. Unfortunately, that was the exact moment that Katara came into the kitchen to start making dinner. 

“You two are so gross,” Katara said. She wanted to put on a face of disgust, but it failed. She couldn’t stop the smile she wore after seeing her brother happy and Zuko, the person she had vowed to protect from the world, showing affection for someone he loved. “If you’re both here alone, then that means that I can give you the sister talk without Sokka killing me for giving you a panic attack.” She was going to scare the shit out of Zuko so he wouldn’t hurt her brother. 

Sokka was about to say something, but Zuko beat him to it. Apparently he had practiced this since he was told that Katara was going to give him that talk. “Katara, I’m not going to hurt him on purpose. The closest thing I’ve gotten to hurting him as far as he’s told me is by freaking out about things that I think he might do.” Zuko seemed confident, but Sokka felt the nervous shake in his hand when Zuko grabbed his. 

“What do you mean the things he might do? Do you not trust him to treat you right?” Katara was trying to keep her voice level, but at the insinuation that her brother would do something to intentionally hurt Zuko made her blood boil. 

“Katara, you need to calm down. You don’t have the full picture, and he knows I won’t do anything he doesn’t want, even if he forgets it sometimes. And you’re not getting the rest of the story unless Zuko is the one to tell you, it’s his story to tell.” Sokka said. He couldn’t be mad at his sister though, he knew he would feel the same way if he didn’t have the full story. He would feel rejected and like he wasn’t good enough, but he knew that with how much Zuko had let him into his life, he was one of the most important people in it. 

“Okay….” Katara said skeptically. “Are you willing to give me the whole story Zuko?” She asked much nicer than she had been before. 

“Sure… Um… Well, you know enough about my father to get the trust issues in general, but you probably don’t know about my ex Jet.” He said. He hoped that he could finish the story with as little detail as possible while still letting Katara know what had happened. Before he could continue he was cut off. 

“Say no more. He’s an ass. He tried doing  _ things _ to me even just during the week that we were together. If I had been with him for any longer than that I would’ve either relented or killed him. How long did he do it to you?” She asked. She would still never question a good person’s motives, but she didn’t have an abusive father, and an abusive ex that had her in their clutches for Tui knows how long. 

“Almost a month in Ba Sing Se, then he tried to turn me in for being a firebender when he had no proof whatsoever,” Zuko said. He was starting to tear up, but Sokka’s hand in his was grounding and kept him together enough to answer any questions. 

“Zuko… Can I hug you?” She asked. She knew that Zuko wasn’t a touch person, but she still wanted to try. She was surprised when he nodded. She went over to him but before she got a chance to hug him he leaned into Sokka’s side. She gathered them both into a bear hug and didn’t let go for a few minutes. 

“Now. What do you guys want for breakfast? We actually have options now.” Katara laughed. 

~~~~~~~~~~

While Katara made breakfast Sokka finished his system for Zuko. “Hey babe, can you go grab me another piece of paper so I can write this down for you?” He asked. He hoped that it would work for both of them and the rest of the Gaang when it came to helping Zuko. 

“Yeah, give me just a sec,” Zuko said. He couldn’t wait to figure out what Sokka was working on, and he had refused to explain it when he asked a second time. He gave Sokka’s hand a squeeze and rushed out to get the paper. 

“You know, you two are really oogie sometimes,” Katara said. “I didn’t think you would make it to pet names so quickly.” 

“We are  _ not oogie _ that’s you and Aang, and it kinda happened on accident, to be honest. One day I just said it and he decided he enjoyed it.” Sokka said. 

“Just tell me you’re happy with him Sokka and tell me that you won’t hurt him. I know I give him all of the shit because you’re my brother, but he’s really fragile, and I’ve noticed how easily he’s hurt.” Katara said. She had grown protective over both of the boys, and she had no clue who she would side with in an argument. 

“I’m not going to hurt him on purpose. I’ve been working on ways for him to communicate without using his words, that way he doesn’t have to worry about it, and I’ve also been setting up a system that we all can use to help him through mental health issues. That’s why I need another piece of paper. Most of you can’t read ‘Sokka Script™’ and I need to translate.” Sokka said. It had become a long-running joke between the siblings. Katara was the only person who could understand what he wrote other than Teo’s dad. 

“Alright. Make sure you clue us all in when you sort it out with him.” She said. “I’m going to go get the other’s up, breakfast is ready.” Katara left the room just as Zuko returned. 

“I got your paper. Will you at least tell me as you write it out, or do I have to wait for it to be written out and read it?” Zuko asked while hanging onto his boyfriend's shoulders. He even surprised himself sometimes with how touchy he would be with Sokka. He still refused to ask for touch from anyone else, but Sokka made it clear to him that he didn’t have to ask. He didn’t understand why being touch starved was bad until he had Sokka to give him a hug anytime he wanted, and to cuddle all night long just because. Touch had never been pleasant from anyone other than his uncle, and he rejected it most of the time. 

“I suppose I can explain it,” Sokka said, faking exasperation, but his smile betrayed his act. “It’s for when your mental health goes downhill again. Different signals for what you need when you’re having anxiety or panic attacks, signs for when there’s a subject that you don’t want to talk about or when jokes go too far, even some stuff for you to be able to get hugs from the others if you so wish. I’m going to make a copy of it for each one of us.” Sokka said. “If you feel like anything needs changed, let me know. That way we can make sure it will work for you.” 

Zuko was speechless. He couldn’t understand why Sokka was putting so much effort into doing nice things for him. All of his emotions hit him at once and he was overwhelmed. He couldn’t stop the tears falling down his face. 

Sokka immediately noticed his boyfriend’s tears and tore off a piece of paper. He wrote a note saying that they’d be back shortly and grabbed Zuko’s hand. He led the two of them a couple of rooms over so they could talk without being overheard or interrupted. “Hey, Zu? Can you hear me?” Sokka asked. He hoped that it wasn’t a panic attack, especially beings the fact that he would probably be the cause. 

“Y-yeah. I can. I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened. You just put so much effort into being nice to me and I don’t know what to do.” Zuko said quietly. He was still sniffling, and he wanted to reach out for Sokka, but he couldn’t make himself do it. All he could manage was an aborted motion for a hug. 

Of course, Sokka was preoccupied with Zuko’s confession of not knowing what to do with someone caring for him, but he didn’t miss the aborted motion he made for a hug. Sokka couldn’t think of anything he could do other than hold Zuko as he cried, so he did. He sunk to the floor against the wall and grabbed Zuko placing him into his lap.

Zuko cried harder once he was in Sokka’s lap. He was being so, so gentle. He was rubbing soft circles on his back, whispering comforting words in his good ear, and resting his forehead against his hair as he cried. Zuko never thought he could feel that safe, not since his mother left. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but once he managed to calm down Sokka helped him up and wiped away his tears. 

“You ready to go back and eat, or do you want a minute alone?” Sokka asked. He hated seeing the broken boy in his lap, but he knew that the only reason he was okay enough to cry was because he was slowly being put back together. 

“Yeah, let’s go eat before  _ you _ start to get grumpy,” Zuko said with a small laugh. He kissed Sokka quickly and they went back out to the others. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I was going to put more angst and hurt/comfort in this one, but then I went above 3k words and decided against having a ridiculously long chapter. Hopefully the next one won't take as long to be put up, but I make no promises as usual. I can't wait to read your guys' comments! <3 <3 <3


	22. (Very short game of) Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang misses camping and decided to play Truth or Dare around the campfire. Unfortunately, they only make it through two rounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you're not too disappointed that this chapter is a little later going up than the one before it, but I hope you enjoy! I can't wait to read all the comments!
> 
> Side note: How in the actual fuck have I hit over 1k kudos and over 22k hits?! Ya'll are amazing and idk what to do with people enjoying things I put on the internet.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, but they were somehow missing the cramped meals cooked on a fire, so they decided to take dinner outside on the beach. Sokka grabbed the firewood, Toph made a pit of rocks for the fire, Katara got the food ready, Zuko lit the fire, and Aang got seats ready for them so they would all fit at the fire. 

The Gaang was sitting around the campfire unsure of what to do. No one wanted to go back inside yet, but the meals were finished and the conversation had stopped. Aang was the one to finally break the silence. 

“Do you guys wanna play Truth or Dare?!” He asked excitedly. 

Zuko tensed at the idea of the game, but he gave his affirmative with everyone else. He figured that they wouldn’t force him to answer anything he didn’t want to. It hit him that he hadn’t told any of them other than Aang about his scar, and Sokka only knew about some of the abuse he went through. Sokka knew most of the physical stuff but had no clue about the mental abuse, and the others probably know about some of it purely by seeing his scars when his shirt rode up during training. Before he had the chance to go further into a panic attack, Aang started the game. 

“Okay, Katara! Truth or dare?” Aang asked. 

“Truth”

“Awww, I had a good dare too… Hmm. If you were to kiss, marry, and kill one of us, who would you pick for each?” Aang asked. He knew technically it was part of another game, but he figured it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he asked it for a truth question. 

“Um… Kiss Toph, marry you, and kill Zuko. Sorry Zuko, but Sokka is my brother, and I’m terrified of attempting to murder Toph.” Katara said apologetically. She knew she wasn’t going to do any of the above to her brother, and she would’ve picked Zuko for the kiss, but the thought of even attempting to kill Toph terrified her to no end. 

“No offense taken, I would probably do something similar with the question honestly,” Zuko said with a chuckle. 

“I guess it’s my turn,” Katara said with a sigh. She would’ve picked Aang, but she knew it would only lead to a two-person truth or dare game. “Zuko, truth or dare?” She asked. Zuko wasn’t very open so this was a perfect game to get to know him with. 

“Uh. Truth I guess.” He was a chicken, he knew it, but dares scared him and until everyone proves him otherwise, he was going to pick truth. He almost immediately regretted it when Katara got a terrifying look in her eyes and a mischievous smile on her face. 

“What’s the story behind your banishment?” She asked. 

Zuko went pale. Sokka could see the terror in his face. “Katara! That’s a little much isn’t it-” He was going to continue his rant when he felt Zuko take his hand. He took it for what it was and shut up so Zuko could talk. He gave his hand a reassuring squeeze when he went to talk. 

“This is a fairly long story, are you sure you want to hear it?” Zuko asked the group, even if he was addressing Katara. He was answered with a chorus of nods and Kataras small “Yes” somewhere in there. 

“Okay... Well, I guess I should start at the very beginning.” Zuko said with a sigh. He leaned into Sokka as he began. “When I was 12 I had started spending a lot of time with one of the servants in the palace. He was around my age, and he was cute. My whole life I had been told that homosexuality was wrong, but I was never told what it meant so I didn’t know that what I was doing was ‘wrong’” He used air quotes to punctuate the word wrong. He had long since come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t wrong for liking men. “He was my first boyfriend I suppose, although we never talked about it. My father had always been overbearing and said I was too effeminate even if I really wasn’t. He just thought I wasn’t heartless enough. I was caught kissing him when I was 13, and my father was furious. Uncle had let me into a war meeting the day before, and my father made up some excuse about me disrespecting him in his war room for the public, but I knew the real reason he challenged me to an Agni Kai.” Zuko’s tone was becoming both bitter and thick as he tried to hold back tears. “I refused to fight my father, even after he demanded I did. He said ‘You will learn and suffering will be your teacher’ just seconds before he burned my face. I don’t know when, but I apparently passed out from the pain. I woke up on the ship three days later with an infection in my eye and my uncle telling me that I was banished for not fighting my father.” Zuko finished talking but refused to meet anyone’s eyes. He didn’t want to see the disappointment on anyone’s faces. 

“Shit…” was the only word spoken after a few short minutes. “I already wanted to kill Ozai, but now I want to make him suffer in the process,” Toph said

“Agreed” Came mere seconds later from Katara. She had at some point started crying and grabbed onto Aang for comfort. “Zuko, I really hope that you know what he did was wrong. I know it can’t be easy to undo years worth of false information, but you deserve better than that.” She hoped that her sincerity was showing in her words. 

“I know. Well… I know that that’s a fact, but I still struggle to believe that.” Zuko said. He wanted to say more, but if he did, he would probably break down and no one wanted more of a damper on their game. “You guys should keep playing, I think I’m going to go down to the beach.” He still didn’t want to go inside, nor did he want to keep playing, but his presence would probably make it awkward. He gave Sokka’s hand a squeeze in a silent question. 

“I’ll go with you,” Sokka said. He seemed to be getting better at deciphering Zuko’s wordless questions, and in all honesty, he wanted to make sure his boyfriend was okay. The two stood up and walked down to the beach together. 

“Did any of you know about that?” Katara asked a few minutes after the two left. 

“I didn’t,” said Toph, “But I suspected based on some of his nightmares.”

“I did. I didn’t have the full story, but I had most of it. I think I might’ve been the only one he told, and he only told him because I wouldn’t let him spar with me after he went into a panic attack the time before. I told him I would if he told me what happened when I put fire near his face.” Aang said sadly. He hated that the boy had endured so much, and the fact that he was Aang’s age when it happened made it worse. “I think it’s time for us to go inside. I’ll get the fire and meet you there.” He said. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“You doing okay?” Sokka asked after they had been walking on the beach for a few minutes. 

“Yeah, I think I am. I wanna show you my favorite spot down here though.” Zuko said with a small smile. He was actually feeling a lot better. He didn’t expect it to feel so good telling them. Maybe he should talk things out more.

“Ooooh. Secret hideout?” Sokka said with all the excitement of a toddler being told they could pick a new toy. “Pleaseee tell me it’s a secret hideout. Tu knows you needed one as a kid.” His smile got smaller when he said that remembering where they were. 

“Yeah. Something like that. I wouldn’t call it a hideout exactly. You know how I mentioned that we hadn’t been here since my family was actually happy?” Zuko asked, only continuing after seeing Sokka’s nod. “Me and Azula would hide out there and play with the animals. Well… I would play and Azula would sit in my lap and giggle.” He said wistfully. He really did miss when Azula was too young to understand their father and just sat in his lap and played with him. “She used to love the manta rays.” 

“Wow. I find it hard to believe that your sister wasn’t born a monster.” Sokka said with a chuckle. “It sounds really nice actually. Reminds me of when Katara was small and would sit next to me making the water ripple while mom and dad were busy.” Neither of them seemed to be able to contain the small smiles they wore because of the distant memories. 

“My father is an asshole. Wow… That feels weird to say out loud. I would’ve been killed for treason if he heard that.” Zuko said, his smile getting bigger. “MY FATHER IS AN ASSHOLE!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. This was the first time he had ever said something bad about his father other than on the Day of Black Sun unless you count him talking about the fact that he has to go down. He heard Sokka start laughing next to him. 

“He really is. I’m glad you finally accepted it.” Sokka said with a face splitting smile. 

“Me too. He’s the entire reason I was chasing you guys, and it wasn’t even out of wanting to, it was out of desperation to prove myself to him. Azula is the way she is because of him. She was never a really nice kid, she played rough and was a little sadistic, but she wasn’t murderous. Father made sure she became that way though, he fed her lies about what was wrong and what was right, and made sure mother could never teach her the things she taught me.” Zuko sighed. He hated the power that his father held over Azula, but he can’t be mad at her, at her age he was chasing the Avatar convinced that his father actually loved him, even after being burned and banished, all Azula ever had was his ‘love’ even if it was really just him using her. 

“That sucks. I guess I can’t blame Azula either. We forgave you and you were her age when you were hunting Aang.” Sokka said. Suddenly something hit him. “He didn’t just send you on a near-impossible quest, he sent you on an impossible one. Everyone in the entire world thought the avatar cycle was broken, your father banished you with a permanent disability, and told you to find a fairy tale…” Sokka’s heart broke at the thought. He clung a little tighter to Zuko’s hand. 

“Yeah… I guess I know that now, but it’s still hard to believe that he hated me that much sometimes.” Zuko sighed. They walked for a few more minutes in comfortable silence before Zuko spoke again. “We’re here!” He said excitedly, squeezing Sokka’s hand tighter. He suddenly felt as small as he was when he was there last. 

_ Azula had entered Zuko’s room on the verge of tears. “Mom and father are fighting again Zuzu. Can I stay here with you?” She had asked. Zuko could hear the yells of his father and he could tell that it wouldn’t end well with the two of them. Even at the young age of 8, he knew this would end with pain. “How about we go outside Zula?” He asked. “We can go to the hidey cave on the beach!” he said trying to cheer Azula up. “Really?!” She asked excitedly. They spent the rest of that evening playing hide and seek in the elaborate cave system. _

“I haven’t been here since I was 8. Mother was the one who always convinced father to take us, even if it meant she got hurt.” He said wistfully. He felt himself being violently tugged into a hug from Sokka.

“Sorry! Sorry.” Sokka said quickly pulling away after feeling Zuko tense. He had forgotten to ask first, but he needed a hug as much as he thought Zuko did. 

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.” He mumbled into Sokka’s shoulder after pulling him back into a hug. “I kinda needed it anyways.” He said even as his face flamed. 

“Me too,” Sokka whispered. After a few short minutes of hugging Sokka spoke up again. “So. Now that the cuddle fest is over.” He said with a chuckle. “What is this place?”

“Oh!” Zuko perked up immediately. “It’s a huge system of underground caves. They each have one tunnel to get out the main exit, but they’re really good for games and hiding from people. There’s like 50 different tunnels, and they all have slightly different things in them.” Zuko continued to ramble about them long after it was explained. 

Sokka swore he could listen to Zuko talk forever, he was almost as passionate about this cave as he was about theatre and turtleducks. He would never get bored of listening, and even if he did, he would be happy to just hear the cadence of Zuko’s voice. When he finally stopped talking Sokka filled the silence. “I know you’re really really excited, but maybe we could check it out tomorrow? It’s getting kinda late and we still have about a 20-minute walk back.” He said. 

“Yeah, but maybe not tomorrow. I was thinking we could go back into town again instead.” He said sheepishly. He wasn’t sure why he was so awkward about this, they were already together, going on a date shouldn’t be that weird. Especially not asking about it. 

Zuko was blushing. He couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out why. “Why do you want to go back into the town?” He asked, loving, and becoming confused by the fact that he blushed harder. 

“I-Um… There’s this uh… This masked festival in town tomorrow night.” Zuko said stuttering the whole time. “I was-Iwaswonderingifmaybeyouwantedtogowithme,” He said almost incomprehensibly fast. He knew Sokka would understand his mutterings, he always did, but he didn’t think he could even try to make that sentence slower if he tried. 

“Yes, Zu. Of course, I want to go with you. We haven’t even had the chance to go on a proper date yet so I’d really love to do this with you.” Sokka somewhat understood the blush now. At least in the context of Zuko, hell, he hadn’t even been much better with Yue on his first attempt, but he wasn’t sure if she liked him back yet. Sokka was happy when Zuko became less tense at his answer.

“Okay. Good then. Are you ready to go back now?” He asked still somewhat awkwardly. 

“Yes babe, we can go back now,” Sokka said taking Zuko’s hand as they started walking.

The two teenagers spent the walk back talking mindlessly about things they miss from their childhoods before they were thrown into the war. They collapsed into their bed barely taking enough time to change into pajamas, and seconds later they were asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed all that. Writing with a new kitten is harder than writing with a cat. Cats at least learn to leave you alone when you push them off your computer enough times, unlike kittens. I'm going to put some smut in the next chapter but I'd like you all to tell me in the comments if you'd prefer it to be in a separate chapter, or if you just want it to be mentioned in the notes what parts to skip if you don't want to read it (Both chapters would go up at the same time if I do separate ones). Once again, I really hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait to read the comments and write the next part! <3<3<3<3<3


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Sokka spend the morning together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have promised smut in this particular chapter but then I seemed to have gotten carried away and written this in more detail than I intended. I hope you enjoy anyways though! If you were looking forward to the smut just be patient, it is coming, it's just taking longer than expected. <3<3

Zuko woke up at sunrise as always, but he had made the conscious decision the night before that he would stay in bed that morning. Aang preferred doing meditation with him in the mornings, but he figured the young airbender would understand. Zuko still needed the physical comfort from Sokka after the night before and he wanted to give the entire day to his boyfriend, something he hadn’t done at all since they got together. They had spent whole days together sure, but they always had other things they had to do while they were spending time together. 

Sokka felt Zuko wake up like he always did, Zuko shifted and he had expected to feel cold shortly thereafter, but Zuko didn’t leave that morning. He managed to wake up enough to look at his boyfriend in the earliest rays of sun. “Mornin.” He mumbled into Zuko’s shirt. “You didn’t leave.” He said shortly after, slightly more coherently. 

Zuko was upset that he had woken Sokka up, but he remembered to keep his voice soft when he responded. “Yeah, I stayed. I figured today could be just for us if you don’t have anything else to do.” He looked into the striking blue eyes just waking from sleep and his heart melted a little more. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen those eyes in the morning before, but he never had the chance to appreciate them. 

“Mmm. Sounds nice.” Sokka said in response. He snuggled further down under the covers and into Zuko’s chest. He decided he liked being held almost as much as he liked doing the holding. Zuko was usually the one who wanted, or in some cases,  _ needed _ to be held. He was vaguely aware that he was grumbling happily into Zuko’s chest as he fell asleep again. 

Zuko listened to Sokka’s purring because there’s really no other way to describe that sound, as he fell back asleep. He felt content for the first time in a long time, and while he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep while the sun was up unless he was literally passing out on his feet, he closed his eyes and relaxed. 

Zuko stayed in bed with Sokka for another hour before he got up. He didn’t want to, but he was becoming too restless and he didn’t want to annoy his sleeping boyfriend. He stopped before he left and wrote a small note for when Sokka woke. 

_ Sorry, firebenders really can’t sleep in. : ) _

_ Making sure Aang woke up and getting some breakfast. Meet me downstairs when you get up.  _

_ -Zu _

He quickly poked his head outside to see if Aang was visible from there, but when Zuko couldn’t see him he went to Aang’s room to check. Of course, he was still asleep and Zuko couldn’t say he was surprised in the slightest. He carefully woke the airbender and went downstairs to get some breakfast. 

“You slept in today,” Katara commented upon seeing Zuko enter followed closely behind by Aang. “Sorry about last night.” She said. She truly felt awful after having brought up something so sensitive the night before. 

“It’s fine Katara, really. It felt kinda nice getting it out in the open honestly.” He said. Zuko made his way over to the counter where there was some fruit sitting. His eating habits still weren’t good, which meant he usually had a piece of fruit or half a sandwich at breakfast and lunch when he wasn’t pestered to eat like he was at dinner. “And I woke up when I normally do. I just stayed in bed for longer than normal.” He mentioned. 

Aang smiled. He knew all the reasons he would’ve stayed in bed late, and the one he figured it was was worth teasing. That is until he realized that he missed morning meditation and it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to tease him at that moment. He grabbed a moon peach and left for his morning firebending practice. 

“What do you mean you stayed in bed? That’s really unlike you, are you feeling okay?” Katara asked. She worried that’s just what she did. She didn’t worry about what was going to happen and what the consequences would be like Sokka did, but she worried about others’ health and about how she could help other people. 

“I’m fine Katara. Sokka just didn’t want me to leave yet.” He said with a blush. It felt weird talking about Sokka with Katara, especially because she was his sister. 

Katara was blushing. It hadn’t crossed her mind that they were sharing a room and Sokka might be the cause of Zuko staying in bed later than usual. She knew logically that it was no big deal, but this was her brother that they were talking about, and that fact made her feel weird. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Sokka walked in. 

He could almost feel the awkward tension in the room when he entered. Of course, as always, he took it upon himself to fix that. Although he wanted to prefix his words with a kiss to Zuko’s temple, he feared that Zuko would be worse off if he did given the current scenario. “Hey, Zu. All I get is a note huh?” He joked. Normally he would’ve been less obvious about it, but from past experience, he had to be very clear when he was joking as to not upset him. 

“Yes. And you don’t get to be upset about it either.” Zuko joked back, feeling relieved after the tension was mostly diffused. “You’d have killed me if I woke you up a  _ second _ time within an hour,” he said. Sokka had approached and tapped him once. He nodded and felt lips pressed to the top of his head, much to Katara’s dismay. 

It still astonished her that the teenager who had chased them across the entire world and back again with that awful haircut and yelling was the same one before her. The Zuko that sat before her was quiet and reserved with his feelings now that he wasn’t always angry, and most importantly, now had her brother’s arms draped around his shoulders and a soft smile on his face. She decided to give the couple some alone time since they were clearly in their own world. 

Zuko watched Katara leave and the door shut behind her. “Was that your plan the whole time? To make her leave by making it uncomfortable for her to stay?” He asked. Somehow Sokka always managed to bring out the bolder more playful side of him without even trying. 

“Mayyyybee” Sokka drew out. “Do you disagree with the plan? I thought you were the one to suggest we spend the day together.” Sokka said. He loved the teasing that they always did, it gave him a thrill when Zuko replied with his own teases or jokes. It wasn’t something they did often but when they did it was amazing. 

“Ah, see, that’s where you’re mistaken. I never said anything at all about not agreeing with it. I simply asked if it was your plan.” Zuko said. He wanted to keep going with the jokes, but he had a more pressing question. “You still wanna spend the day together? I have a few places we could go to town while we wait for the festival to start.” He added. 

“Of course I do dummy.” Sokka said, punctuating it with another kiss. “Where do you want to go?” He asked. He was of course intrigued, he was a naturally curious person and someone else was making plans for once. 

“I was thinking maybe we could go spar first and then we could head into town after lunch. The festival starts at 4, so we could probably go shopping for our masks and maybe do some window shopping too.” Zuko said. He had made a plan for that night, that ended with them enjoying the fact that the others are heavy sleepers. 

“Sounds good. You wanna go now?” Sokka asked. He would really enjoy staying attached to his boyfriend, but the day he planned out sounds rather interesting as well. He figured he would be particularly happy either way. 

“We’re going to go as soon as you get something to eat. I don’t want to hear you complaining until lunch.” He said playfully to Sokka. Sokka’s stomach chose that moment to grumble it’s agreement. Zuko couldn’t help but laugh at the look of betrayal Sokka sent towards his stomach. He reluctantly let go of Zuko and wandered over to grab some leftover bacon and some lychee nuts. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The two of them had finished breakfast and Zuko lead the way into the woods. He had managed to find a clearing a few days before while Sokka was sleeping. He had been looking for a spot they could spar without prying eyes (or feet). Sokka kept asking where they were going, but he refused to answer the questions. 

“We’re here so you can stop asking questions now.” Zuko said with a nervous chuckle. He didn’t know why he was nervous, there was nothing special about the clearing other than the few pillows and blankets he had set down in a corner so they didn’t lay on the dirt when they got tired. (Okay…  _ maybe _ he took the time to clear the leaves and draw a small sparring ring with ashes and set up a fire pit nearby, but that was nothing special…  _ Right? _ )

Sokka was in awe. How long had it taken Zuko to set all this up without him knowing? “ _ Zu _ ” Sokka said breathlessly. “This is  _ amazing _ ! When the fuck did you find the time to do all this?” He asked. 

“I did it after I finished meditating with Aang in the mornings. You’re usually asleep for about an hour after we finish.” Zuko said with a small blush on his face. He didn’t really know  _ why _ he was blushing, just that he was. It might have something to do with the look of amazement on Sokka’s face and the fondness and love in his eyes as he looked at him. “It’s really nothing much.” He said sheepishly. 

“Shut up Zu. This isn’t nothing, this is fucking amazing and it probaly took you way too long. Do the other’s know abou this place?” Sokka asked. He selfishly hoped that it was only for the two of them, but he figured it was probably set up for all of them to spar.

“The other’s don’t know about it, and I don’t plan on telling them either. I put it together for us. It’s just outside of Toph’s range so we can be found if they need us, but Toph won’t know what we’re doing without actively trying to find us.” He blushed harder at that. He didn’t think about how Sokka would take those words (even if he planned on making their alternitive meaning the actual one). 

Sokka blushed at that. He knew it probably wansn’t that visible because of his skin, but it was definitely there and noriceable to anyone looking for it. He tried to cover his embarassment with a joke instead. “And what would we be doing that we don’t want Toph seeing?” He asked with what he hoped was a sly smirk.

Sokka had what Zuko thought was supposed to be a seductive smirk, but he was failing miserably. The only reason Zuko suggested sparring was because he remembered all the tension he felt when he sparred with Sokka, and based on his behavior now it seems like the feeling was reciprocated. “Whatever you feel like  _ baby _ ” He said putting extra emphasis on the final word. 

Sokka was blushing harder and he didn’t kow what to do with himself. “Let’s just spar you idiot.” He said, knowing that the embarassment on his face was obvious. He grabbed his sword and watched Zuko smirk before getting his own. It was unlike him to be so bold but Sokka couldn’t find it in him to care. 

“You got it.” Zuko replied getting in his ready stance. They stood in tense silence for a few minutes before Sokka struck. The two of them sparred for about 20 minutes before Zuko got Sokka to yield. He was clearly still not on top of his game after their interaction before. 

“Ugh!” Sokka exclaimed. “This is all your fault Zu.” He said playfully. Zuko might argue that his words were the cause of his demise, but really, Sokka was distracted by Zuko’s shirt flying up as he did flips. How had he been so lucky in getting such a flexible partner? 

“Oh, how I know dearest Sokka. Maybe if you were a little less distracted you’d be doing better.” Zuko responded. He didn’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but he was going to ride the wave for as long as he could. Toph would’ve probably said something about him radiating top energy then made a joke about how he was going against his nature, and she wouldn’t be wrong. 

The two continued their sparring for 3 more rounds. They would’ve kept going if circumstances were different, but alas, Sokka on top of Zuko in victory seemed to make them both freeze. 

Zuko could feel his face heating up. Sokka was straddling him and had his sword to his throat. He didn’t think it was possible for him to feel so aroused on the brink of death, but he figured it probably had something to do with the trust he’s placed in Sokka. He knew they wouldn’t go any farther than simple grinding while in the forest, as per his request, but they would be enjoying the night thoroughly. “Looks like you won,” Zuko said breathlessly with a smirk. He still seemed to be riding that wave of confidence, which meant he managed to avoid stuttering through that simple sentence. 

“Looks like I did babe. Whatever are we going to do now?” Sokka asked. If Zuko was going to play dirty, so was he. He watched with an emotion that could only be described as glee as Zuko’s face flamed. His smugness didn’t last however when he felt Zuko press into him. He groaned at the action. “What was that about?” He asked, almost as breathless as the man below him. 

“Just having some fun. Although it probably won’t be as nice as tonight will be.” Zuko said. He hoped to annoy Sokka at the prospect of waiting, but all that he got was a look of concern in his boyfriend’s dilated eyes. 

“You sure Zu? I want you to be absolutely positive, I can wait if you don’t want to tonight.” Sokka said. He was directly going against everything his instincts were telling him, but he knew how Zuko was with consent, and he wouldn’t hurt him in any way. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. That’s why I chose to spar this morning. I like the buildup. I want us both to be desperate by the time we get back to the house.” Zuko said. He felt his confidence rapidly falling at this admission. He never told anyone about the things he liked to do in the bedroom, at least, not before now. He felt his face flame while he waited for Sokka’s response. 

“Good, just remember, you can change your mind at any point. Just tell me if I do something you don’t want me to. I don’t want to upset you or hurt you.” Sokka said. He waited for Zuko’s soft “Okay” Before he smirked and ground down onto Zuko’s boner. He did it a few more times before he dragged himself away and said, “You ready for another round? I can probably go a few more before I’m too tired.” 

Zuko almost whined at the loss of contact, but he managed to suppress it. He didn’t want Sokka to hear anything like that until that night. “Sure, then we can take a break and finally go over that panic attack thing you were talking about the other day when we were interrupted.” He responded. He liked making himself wait, and it seemed like Sokka enjoyed it too. 

The two spent the next hour sparring, and if when they were knocked down they spent a little longer than necessary on the ground, no one had to know. They managed four more rounds before they were too breathless to keep going, and they laid on the ground for a few minutes. 

Sokka was starting to really enjoy this game they were playing. He watched Zuko squirm under his hands in between spars and he watched him hold back sounds with visible effort. He made it his mission to make him crack before the day was over, but alas, he had to wait. “You wanted to talk about that panic attack thing?” Sokka asked. He would never last the whole day if he couldn’t calm himself, explaining ways they could deal with Zuko’s panic attacks seemed to be a good place to start. 

“Yeah, I feel like that would be a good idea.” He said.  _ Especially if I fuck up tonight and we end up needing it _ he thought to himself. He did want to go the next step with Sokka, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t ready a week ago, he just didn’t have the proof that he was willing to wait like he does now. He had been thinking of the right way to get Sokka to fuck him since he had told him he didn’t have to go to him for sexual relief. It’s truly amazing how much being told you don’t have to do something makes you want to actually do it. 

“Okay. I left the paper at home, but I already memorized it. I’ll give you a copy when we get to the house though.” Sokka said. “Basically, there are tiers. There’s tier one which is for when you need to be alone, tier two for when you want someone with you but to talking and no touching, tier three is when you want touch but no talking, tier four is when you want talking and no-touch, and tier five is when you want both talking and touch.” He explained. “After that, you can specify how much touch you want. One is for something like a finger or two, two is for like a hand or arm, and three is for a hug or cuddling. What do you think?” Sokka asked. Even if he knew it was good in theory, he wasn’t sure if it was properly-suited to Zuko. 

“That actually sounds really good.” Zuko managed to say. He felt the tightness in his throat that was threatening to release. He still had no clue what to do with someone caring so deeply for him. He figured Sokka would’ve stopped at touch or no touch, but he did more than that, he made sure that he had the chance to avoid touching and talking while still having someone there, and to be left alone entirely, it was more than he could’ve hoped for, and even after that he made sure he could specify how much touch. “I don’t understand.” He muttered underneath his breath. 

“What don’t you understand?” Sokka asked. 

“Why you would do this for me. Why you would spend so much time making something like this for me when you’ve only ever been there for two of my panic attacks. I don’t deserve this or you.” He said. He couldn’t possibly ask for someone better than this and he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had spent way too long chasing them around the world and to have Sokka forgive him was more than he could’ve imagined. 

“Hey. Stop thinking like that. You deserve all of the good in the world Zu, you just got all of the bad. If this is about the whole chasing us thing, I couldn’t possibly be mad at you. If my father told me the only way I could go home was to bring a 12-year-old to him I would, no questions asked. And if this is about you being a bad person, you aren’t, the bad things you’ve done you justified to yourself because you’ve been fed propaganda your whole life.” Sokka said. He hated that Zuko thought so little of himself. He would have to shake that out of him. 

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said. He wanted to say more but he was cut off by Sokka’s lips on his own. He was quickly realizing that it was his favorite way to be given a blank mind. When they finally broke apart all Zuko managed was, “Thank you Sokka.”

“You’re welcome.” He responded. “Now, do you think there needs to be any adjustments? I could easily tweak a few things before I give the papers out to the others.” Sokka said. He wanted it to be perfect for him after all. 

“Oh… Um... Do you think, that maybe… I-nevermind. It’s stupid” Zuko said. He wanted to have a way to specify for Sokka or his uncle(if they ever saw each other again) to be the ones to be with him, but it was stupid, he couldn’t do that to them. 

“It’s not stupid if it can help you. And the whole purpose of this is so you can communicate what you need when you can’t think clearly during a panic attack, that doesn’t mean that you have to use that part.” Sokka said. He was really just trying to get Zuko to talk to him about it, and if that meant saying he didn’t have to act on something then so be it. 

“I-I was thinking that maybe… Maybe we could make it so-so that I could ask for you or uncle specifically…” Zuko said. He felt his face flame again, and it had just returned to a normal color after sparring. 

“Of course Zu. Why would you think that was stupid?” He asked. He knew very well that you only want people you trust around you when you panic, but he couldn’t understand why Zuko thought otherwise. 

“It’s selfish to pull you guys away from your lives to deal with my weaknesses,” Zuko mumbled in response. He couldn’t make people deal with his issues, especially not ones so stupid. 

“Zuko. Zuko look at me.” Sokka requested. “It’s not stupid to need someone you trust near you when you’re panicking. And I want you to know that I’m not going to be upset if you want your uncle there instead of me if that’s what you’re worried about.” He said. He knew Zuko more than Zuko knew himself, and he figured that he was also worried about him. 

He didn’t understand how Sokka managed to know things that he didn’t even know himself, but he was grateful for it. He hadn’t even thought of what Sokka would think of him picking his uncle, but he was glad that he wouldn’t be angry with him. “Thank you.” He said quietly after looking away again. He didn’t believe everything that Sokka had just said, but he knew he was being honest either way. “You ready for lunch?” He asked after a few moments of silence. 

“I see you know the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Sokka said with a chuckle. “What are we having?” He asked. Even after looking around the area beforehand, he hadn’t seen the small bag hidden in a hole in one of the trees. 

Zuko went and grabbed the pack from the tree. He put it there the night before with some non-perishable foods. “Stuff I packed the other day.” He responded. He pulled the food inside. He had packed a couple of waterskins, a loaf of bread with jam, some seal jerky, and some fireflakes for himself. He really hoped that Sokka liked the seal jerky, it took him forever to find it in town. “What do you think?” Zuko asked. 

“ _ Zu, _ ” Sokka said with all the same awe that he possessed when Zuko first showed him around the sparring area. “Is that seal jerky?!” He asked excitedly after recognizing his favorite snack. “How the hell did you find it?” He asked. 

“It took forever to find it in town, but I bought all they had. It was really overpriced, but I sold a few things from the house before I bought it. I remember you saying something about it being your favorite and missing it…” Zuko knew he was starting to ramble, and he had no intention to stop, but before he could comprehend the look on Sokka’s face he had the warrior tackling him. After a brief moment of panic, he started to laugh. 

“Don’t laugh at me. You’re fucking amazing and you just got me my favorite food so you’re gonna let me cuddle you. Also, what was the other thing you got? The stuff in the box.” Sokka asked. He had seen it once before, but he couldn’t place where. It was probably Zuko’s favorite if he brought it. 

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the situation you dumbass,” Zuko said in between giggles. “And the stuff in the box is fireflakes. They’re my favorite and I haven’t had the chance to have any since I was last in Caldera.” He responded. Normally the reminder of his old home would make him upset, but he couldn’t find it in him when his boyfriend was on top of him and he had managed to find both of their favorite snacks in town. “We can share them if you want, but you don’t get to touch my waterskin if they’re too hot,” Zuko responded. He knew watertribe usually couldn’t handle the spice of firenation food, but he also knew his boyfriend’s stubborn ass was going to eat them anyways. 

“Hey! I can handle spicy food.” Sokka said, even after remembering what happened last time. He would be fine as long as he went slower than he had the last time.  _ Right? _ He heard Zuko chuckle and decided to shut him up by kissing him. He managed to get them into a sitting position and they ate their lunch. 

The rest of the time they had before they had to go into town was spent telling jokes and stories as they ate their food. While Zuko could honestly enjoy seal jerky sometimes, it was obvious how much the fireflakes hurt Sokka, even if he was trying to hide it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one should be out before Wednesday if everything goes well (might even be up today, but don't get your hopes up). I can't wait to read all of the comments! <3<3<3


	24. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Sokka finally go on their date in the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know it's been a long time, and I'm sorry for that. I got sick for about two weeks, and spent the week after working on makeup work for school. I'm almost caught up at this point so my writing should hopefully become more frequent again. I hope you enjoy this chapter and there should be another one up in a few minutes. <3<3

The two had arrived in the town around two pm. They were in awe of the decorations around the town. Everywhere they looked they could see lights and hanging ornaments that promised a show when nightfall came. Eventually, the two managed to find the store they were looking for. 

“We’re here Sokka,” Zuko called to his boyfriend who had managed to wander off to look at some things. “We need to get our costumes before the parade starts. Hurry up.” Zuko tried his best to sound impatient, but even he could hear the fondness in his voice. 

“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” Sokka called back. He had been admiring a choker at one of the shops and he couldn’t stop thinking about Zuko wearing it. It had already been a long day of teasing, and neither one of them was ready to relent, but they both had to admit that it was fun. The two stepped into the store and found many different things that they could use for an outfit. 

Zuko looked through the infinite amount of racks trying to find something dark to wear. He ended up settling on a pair of black leggings that he knew were going to be tight, and a form-fitting blue t-shirt. “What do you think Sokka?” He asked as soon as he put the clothes on. 

_ Two can play at that game _ . Sokka thought to himself. He grabbed some of his own form-fitting clothes and wandered into the dressing room Zuko was currently inhabiting. “I don’t see the reason why we should take up two dressing stalls.” He said sweetly. He had made sure at multiple times during the day that Zuko was okay, but every time he said yes, so he decided to settle for reminding him he could say no, and continuing with the teasing. 

Before Zuko got the chance to say anything Sokka was already starting to change. He got angry at himself for staring before he remembered that the entire purpose of this was for him to stare. “You know Sokka. The shopkeeper is going to wonder what’s going on in here.” Zuko said with all the calmness he didn’t feel. It’s weird the way lust can work almost as well as liquid courage. 

The two men spent longer than entirely necessary in the changing room, but when they did emerge, they had both managed to compose themselves. The two of them made their way over to the masks in the corner. 

“Which ones do you want to get? I wanted to bring my own but I don’t think it would be taken to well if I did.” Zuko said with a wistful sigh. He missed being the blue spirit, but he knew he couldn’t hide behind the mask anymore. Aang was the only one in the group who knew and from the things the others have said, he probably didn’t tell anyone. 

“What do you mean your own? I didn’t know you had a mask.” Sokka said. With anyone else, he would be angry that they hadn’t told him something like that, but if he’s learned anything about Zuko, it’s that he doesn’t think to tell you things unless you ask about it. 

“Oh… Uh, I can show you and give you the story when we get back to the house, but I can’t tell you in present company.” Zuko said honestly. He hadn’t expected Sokka to ask, but he was more than happy to tell him now. “How about that one? I think it would look good on you.” Zuko said after a short pause. He had pointed to a dark green mask with intricate white lines tracing unknown symbols on the cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips. The mask was based on a human face, but it looked less human and more monstrous. Zuko himself had picked a plain black and white mask with a swirled mix of the two colors in the middle. 

“That one looks good. I think we have everything we need now, what do you want to do until the festival starts?” Sokka asked. They had a good half hour before anything started, and the prime spot to watch the parade was only a block away. 

“We should probably rent a locker for us to put our old clothes in so we don’t lose them, and I have a few ideas as to what we could do after that,” Zuko said with a shy smile. Yeah, at that point all of his confidence had drained back out of his body, being replaced by his awkward shy self again. Zuko couldn’t be too upset by that, however, especially not with Sokka blushing in front of him. 

The two teenagers quickly got a locker and found themselves in an alley near where they were going to watch the parade. They were just out of sight from everyone else, but that didn’t stop them from freezing anytime they heard footsteps. After about 20 minutes of that, Sokka pulled Zuko by his wrist back out into the crowd to watch the start of the parade. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After the parade had passed and both boys had a chance to calm down from their romp in the alley they set off towards the food stands to find dinner. It was only after they got their food and sat down did they seem to lose the ability to talk. Sokka was the one to break the silence.

“Pretty clouds,” Sokka said cringing outwardly at his awkward attempt at small talk. 

“Yeah, fluffy,” Zuko replied. Normally Zuko would be upset at his inability to talk like a normal person, but at that moment he was suppressing a grin at the awkwardness. 

Sokka burst out laughing, closely followed by Zuko. “What the fuck was that?” Sokka said between wheezes. They’re normally so comfortable around each other, what the hell happened?

“I don’t fucking know Sokka. You’re the one who said ‘ _ pretty clouds _ ’ like a fucking idiot.” Zuko replied through giggles. 

When the two had finally calmed down, Sokka spoke up again. “We’re not good at dates, are we? I know I’m not.” 

“The last date I went on I yelled that the girl wasn’t my girlfriend at the waiter, told her I juggled in the circus, attempted to do said juggling, and threw a coupon in her face. So no, I don’t think I’m good at dating.” Zuko stated while he giggled some more. 

“Girl? Not trying to be belligerent, but I thought you were gay.” Sokka said. He genuinely didn’t care either way, but he also wanted to get things right when he talked to his boyfriend. 

“Yeah, I am, but in Ba Sing Se my uncle set me up on dates all the time. That’s how I ended up coming out to him. It was like the fourth date he set me up on and I came home pissed after she pushed me into a kiss, and I just kinda yelled it at Uncle.” Zuko said with a small blush. His uncle had been more accepting than he ever could have dreamed of, and even took the time to talk it over with him. “Of course that didn’t stop the whole ‘being set up on dates’ problem, but at least it was with people I could potentially be interested in.” He added on with a fond smile. 

“Your uncle sounds amazing,” Sokka said. He could just imagine an embarrassed baby-gay Zuko being sent on dates by his uncle with people he would never have feelings for. If his father or Bato had done anything like that he probably would’ve died from embarrassment. 

“He really is,” Zuko said with a sad look in his eyes. After a few seconds, he managed to shake the longing thoughts of his uncle from his head. He’ll probably never accept Zuko back anyways after Ba Sing Se. “What are we going to do after this?” Zuko asked. He had quite a few ideas of his own, but he was going get Sokka to admit it. 

“I was thinking that just maybe we could go back to the sparring grounds,” Sokka said nonchalantly, even though his mind was reeling with everything but sparring. 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Zuko said, knowing exactly what Sokka was doing. “But we still have quite a while before this date is over.” He said with a shy smile. He recognized that his forwardness was fluctuating violently, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Sokka seemed to enjoy it when he blushed almost as much as he enjoyed Sokka’s blush. 

The two talked aimlessly for the next hour or so. They were both enjoying just being near each other and asking stupid questions. They never noticed the fact that they didn’t know any of the small things, like each other's favorite color, or their favorite form of entertainment. They spent most of the night just asking those small seemingly insignificant questions. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

After the festival started to slow down, and they had spent over three hours talking about everything not related to the war (neither one was willing to do so when it was supposed to be a day about the two of them). Both teenagers decided it was time to start heading back. All of the attractions had shut down and now the shops were closing as well since the outgoing rush of people wasn’t filtering in. The majority of their trip back was spent in silence, not an uncomfortable one like most would expect, but a comforting one where they held hands and just enjoyed being near each other as they walked. 

They reached the small clearing that had been deemed their spot earlier that day, and they laid down together staring at the stars and cuddling. 

“I think we need to come here more often,” Sokka said after he deemed they’d enjoyed the quiet enough. He was still in awe over the fact that Zuko had put so much effort into making the area so perfect for the two of them. 

“We really should,” Zuko responded softly. It felt as though if he were to speak any louder the peaceful bubble around them would shatter. “I like the idea of having a space where we can get away without anyone but us finding it. It’s nice to not have to think about the war for a little while, even if we can’t avoid it for long.” Zuko doesn’t know what it is about Sokka, but he makes Zuko want to talk about anything and everything. 

“I know the feeling,” Sokka said. “How many stars can you name?” He asked Zuko. This was one of the things Sokka loved most. He was just as passionate about the stars as Zuko was about theatre. 

“I only know the northern star,” Zuko replied sheepishly. 

This simple line triggered a long lesson for Zuko. He stopped paying attention after a while, just enjoying the sounds of his excited boyfriend’s voice. After Sokka pointed to the last star he knew he finally looked down at the firebender on his chest. 

“What?” He asked after seeing Zuko staring at him. 

“You’re really pretty when you get passionate about things,” Zuko responded. It seemed like time had stopped. In all reality, it was nearing midnight, but neither of the teens knew that, they had lost their concept of time as soon as they left the fair. 

Sokka didn’t know what he was supposed to do with the information Zuko just gave him, but his heart swelled painfully, and he brought his head to Zuko’s so he could kiss him. 

Any tension in Zuko’s body disappeared when Sokka kissed him. He felt himself melt into his boyfriend as he kissed back. After a few minutes, they had managed to shift their bodies into a more comfortable position. Zuko was basically straddling Sokka as they kissed, but neither of them seemed to notice until they finally pulled away. Both of them sat staring at each other while catching their breath. 

Sokka was the one to break the staring competition. “When did you get on top of me?” Sokka asked. He was attempting a joke, but in all honesty, he had no clue when they had shifted positions. 

“While we were kissing. Am I really that distracting that you didn’t notice?” Zuko asked. He was hiding his own befuddlement over when they had moved well. All he knew was that he liked the position they found themselves in. Zuko ground down ever so slightly, only to be rewarded with a groan from Sokka. 

“You need to make a decision right now about whether we’re doing this here, or walking back to the house because I don’t think I can make it back to the house if we keep going right now,” Sokka said earnestly. With how often he was teased that day it was getting more and more painful, and he wasn’t sure if he would make it back to the house in that state. It had been painful enough going back to the parade earlier. His answer came when Zuko stood up and went over to a tree. 

Zuko grabbed the blankets and pillows he had taken from the house and laid them down on the ground. Without a single word, Zuko grabbed Sokka’s arm and pulled him up and over to the blankets. He had prepared for this, even if he was completely and utterly terrified. 

Sokka noticed Zuko’s change in demeanor after he pulled out the blankets and came back over to get him. “Hey, Zu, I need you to talk to me. I can tell that something’s wrong, and I’m not going any further if you aren’t completely ready.” Sokka said before Zuko could do anything else. 

_ Shit. _ Of course, Sokka would notice, but maybe it’s okay, maybe he won’t be upset that he’s nervous. “I’m just a little nervous,” Zuko said after realizing he had no choice. 

“Will you tell me why?” Sokka prodded gently. 

“Yeah. I-I guess it’s kinda stupid. I know you won’t do anything to hurt me logically, but I can’t force myself to believe it. Even Mai, who cared for me was demanding in the bedroom, which was only exasperated with the whole being gay thing. I’m ready, I really am, my mindset isn’t going to change if we do this now or if we do this in a year, I’m still going to be nervous. I don’t know how long I’ll be like this, but I’m sorry that I am.” Zuko said. He hadn’t meant to say everything he just did, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. All he wanted was Sokka, and all Sokka wanted from him was him being honest about his feelings, so he would do that. 

“First of all, that’s not stupid Zuko. You’ve been abused in more ways than I can even fathom, and you don’t have to apologize for being nervous about this. No, I’m not going to hurt you, nor am I going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, but I’m not going to be upset with you for not believing that fully right now. I still have to prove it to you with more than words. If you’re sure that you want to do this than we can. You just have to give the word.” Sokka said. He hated that Zuko still felt that way, but he couldn’t be angry. He still remembered the way Zuko flinched when he touched him for the first time, and many more times after that, but after a few days, he realized that he wasn’t going to be hurt and he began to enjoy the touch. That’s what was going to happen here too, and Sokka was okay with that. 

Zuko calmed almost immediately. Sokka didn’t even seem disappointed at the prospect that Zuko might say no. If anything, he almost seemed… proud? He didn’t understand that one, but he chose to ignore it. “Yes,” Zuko said as he climbed back on top of his boyfriend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and the smut for this chapter should be up in a few minutes. I look forward to reading the comments, and I apologize again for the unintentional three-week hiatus. <3<3<3


	25. The Date (Happy Ending)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut cut out from last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pure smut, so if that's not your thing you might want to skip this one.

Everything started moving rather quickly after that. Apparently, their little conversation did nothing to deter Sokka’s boner, and Zuko could feel it the second he got on top of him. 

Sokka had expected the kissing to start soft as it had been before, but Zuko seemed to have other ideas, Zuko pressed his entire body down on top of him. Sokka could feel the other teen’s length pressing against his as he groaned. His hands began to wander under the firebender’s shirt. “Is this okay?” He asked softly as he tugged at the hem of Zuko’s shirt. 

“Agni yes” Zuko said as he helped Sokka take off his shirt. Before they started kissing again, Zuko managed to wrangle off Sokka’s shirt as well. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than stare at Sokka’s chest. The only times he had ever seen him without a shirt he did his best to avoid looking. 

Sokka watched Zuko stare at him. His hands started to wander again after a few minutes. He found his way to Zuko’s nipples and when he brushed them was rewarded with a soft gasp and the shifting of hips. His hands continued to move down the other’s torso until he reached the hem of his pants. This time, he didn’t have to ask, Zuko moved off of him to take off his pants as Sokka did the same. 

Zuko froze yet again. Sokka was naked in front of him and his brain wasn’t computing the amazing sight that was before him. Before Sokka had the chance to notice that he was staring he pounced. Well, maybe pounced is the wrong way to put it. Zuko laid down and dragged Sokka on top of him. 

“You ready?” Sokka asked as he grabbed the bottle of oil Zuko showed him after they talked. He got an enthusiastic nod in return. He uncorked the bottle and poured a generous amount onto his fingers before dropping his hand between Zuko’s legs. 

He felt the first finger slip in and he froze. All he could think of was Jet. Apparently, Sokka noticed, because he leaned over and was whispering praise and comforts in his ear. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually, he came back to the present. Before Sokka got the chance to ask if he was okay Zuko pulled him into a kiss. “Thank you” Was all he could say. It wasn’t enough to explain how grateful he was for him being so gentle. 

Sokka noticed that Zuko went somewhere else when he started to prep, so he took a break and talked him through it. He wasn’t responding to anything he was saying for a while, but eventually, he calmed and pulled him into a kiss. The rest went rather smoothly, even if Zuko seemed vacant at times, but they took it slow and he was ready soon enough. Sokka leaned down to kiss him and asked if he was ready. 

“Yeah” Zuko responded. He was really nervous, but the more Sokka took care of him the better he felt about this. He hoped that Sokka would give him time to adjust before he started moving, but either way, he had enough prep for it to feel good. He hated how much he was thinking of Jet so far, but the longer Sokka whispers to him and makes sure he’s ok, the more Sokka replaces Jet. 

Sokka could see Zuko’s cock twitch when he lined up, he seemed to be just as eager as he was to get this going. He pushed in slowly and carefully while whispering praise into Zuko’s good ear. “You’re doing so good baby, does it feel good?” He muttered mindlessly. 

Zuko heard himself let out a loud whimper when Sokka finally pushed all the way in. He kept telling him how good he was doing and how good he felt. Every word he spoke made his dick jump and he realized how much more the praise turned him on versus Jet’s degradation. 

Sokka came to a stop to let Zuko adjust to his size and to make sure he was okay. He had made a noise when he bottomed out and he wasn’t sure if it was a good one or not. “You doing okay baby?” He asked. He really didn’t want this to end, but he knew if Zuko said the word he would end it on the spot, no questions asked. 

“Feels good,” Zuko said. It almost came out as a whine, but before Sokka could comment on it he moved his hips. He listened to Sokka let out a groan at the friction and ask if he could start moving. He gave an enthusiastic nod in return. 

It became clear very quickly that Zuko was no longer capable of words. Every once in a while he would ask if Zuko was okay, or something along those lines and the only response he would get was a nod or a moan. He was very grateful that Zuko had put this spot so far away from the house, he had underestimated how loud Zuko could be. 

Sokka paid very close attention to Zuko’s reactions. He loved the noises he was making, but it became glaringly obvious that Zuko had a praise kink. At first, he seemed almost as surprised as Sokka did when he made noises after being told he was doing well, but at this point, he didn’t seem to care anymore. Sokka decided to try teasing the firebender. He slowed his thrusts which received a discontent whine from Zuko, but before he could complain Sokka wrapped is hand around his dick. 

Zuko gasped when Sokka’s hand wrapped around him. He enjoyed it for all of ten seconds before it wasn’t enough anymore. Sokka had slowed down inside him, and he was just barely touching his length. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts, let alone words to tell him to hurry the fuck up so he was left making desperate noises. His body was no longer in control and he was wiggling under his boyfriend unsure if he wanted to sink further onto Sokka or push into his hand. It was too much and not enough at the same time. 

Sokka watched Zuko’s growing desperation with amazement. He took pity on his boyfriend after about five minutes and he sped up. His hand was still barely touching him, but he was growing close. “You going to cum for me, baby?” He asked as he tightened his grip on Zuko’s dick. Zuko still didn’t seem capable of forming words, but he was given his answer in the whine and the way he thrust into his hand harder. “I’m close too,” Sokka said as he leaned down to rest his head against Zuko’s. 

Zuko was overwhelmed. Sokka was being so gentle with him and making sure that he was doing okay. Everything came crashing down when Sokka leaned down and kissed him. He felt himself let out an animalistic sound as his body convulsed through his orgasm. He hadn’t cum that hard, well, ever. The world went dark for a few minutes, and he vaguely felt Sokka finish inside him before laying on top of him. 

Sokka pulled out and immediately pulled Zuko into his arms. He finished while Zuko contracted around him, but now he was just waiting for Zuko to come back down to earth. He was proud of himself to draw that kind of reaction out of his boyfriend. Sokka got worried when Zuko finally came around though because he started crying softly. “Hey, what’s wrong Zu? Can you tell me?” He asked. He was terrified that he had misread something and Zuko had wanted him to stop. 

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything is perfect. You were perfect.” Zuko whispered once he started to calm down. He pulled himself up and kissed Sokka softly. He couldn’t pinpoint one reason why he was crying, but he knew that none of them were bad. 

“Sorry if I don’t believe that, but you’re crying,” Sokka replied softly. 

“I’m just feeling a lot of things. I promise I’m okay. You were perfect and I enjoyed this.” He said. Sokka leaned down to kiss him again and they just laid there for a while in each other’s arms.   
After about an hour of cuddling, they agreed that they had to go inside so the others wouldn’t be worried. Sokka left Zuko to lay there for a few more minutes while he went to the small creek to wet a towel so they could clean up. When he came back he made sure to be gentle with Zuko and he got a soft smile and gentle kiss in return. After they were both dressed and they had put the blankets and pillows back against their rock they made their way back to the house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I've never written a smut scene before, so I'm completely open to constructive criticism, and I hope that you'll let me know if it sucks. Can't wait to read the comments! <3<3<3


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko has a panic attack after a pleasant morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one took longer than expected, I'm losing the willpower it takes to make myself get up and write, even if I have a ton of ideas for this fic. I'm currently working on a new AU but idk if it will be up anytime soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter and aren't too upset about how late it is.

Zuko woke up afraid to move. Every time he'd ever had sex before he hurt like hell the next day. He knew that part of it was Jet, but he wasn't sure how much of it was him. He woke up scared by the arm around his waist, something he hadn't done since the second time he woke up with Sokka. He felt himself tense and his breathing grow shallower. 

Sokka woke up to the feeling of Zuko tensing under his arm. Sokka loosened his hold on the fire ender so he could leave if he wanted, and kissed the back of his neck while rubbing his stomach. He felt accomplished when he felt Zuko calm down. 

"You doin ok babe?" Sokka asked in a sleepy voice. 

"Yeah, I am now. Thank you." Zuko said when he realized that Sokka was just trying to comfort. He snuggled back into Sokka and was pleasantly surprised to find that it didn't hurt. 

"Good, but we should probably get up for breakfast soon," Sokka said. He knew exactly what everyone would say when they came down for breakfast after not coming home until everyone was asleep, let alone if they came down late. 

"Don't wanna. Your comfy" Zuko said as he rolled over and nuzzled into Sokka's neck. "It doesn't hurt so I'm gonna enjoy this."

Sokka was upset by what Zuko said. If he was surprised that it didn't hurt, that meant that Jet never prepped him properly, nor did he go slow or make sure he was okay afterward. Instead of getting angry, he said, "It's not supposed to hurt." And pulled Zuko closer. "But we really should get up soon. If we're late to breakfast they'll probably gang up on us with the sex jokes." Sokka said with a small chuckle. 

Zuko pouted, and he stored Sokka's reaction away for later before responding. "Fine." He said and proceeded to snuggle further into Sokka's chest. He felt his boyfriend's chest rumble as he chuckled, even if he tightened his grip. "I guess we can get up. But it's only because I don't need Toph and Katara ganging up on us." He said after a few minutes. 

"Okay firefly," Sokka said. He didn't know where the nickname came from, but he liked it. He knew he needed something more than babe after seeing how much that pout affected him though. He kissed Zuko's forehead before releasing him and getting up to get dressed. 

Zuko missed Sokka's warmth, but he got up and got dressed anyway. "Firefly?" He asked. He liked the sound of it, but he had no clue where it came from.

"I like it, but if you don't I can stop calling you that," Sokka said softly before going over and kissing his nose. He loved the way his boyfriend's face scrunched up when he did it. 

"I like it, I was just wondering where you got it" Zuko replied while pulling on his shirt. 

"Don't know, just did. You ready to go?" Sokka asked. Zuko nodded in reply. 

~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up being late to breakfast, and the first thing that was said to the two came from Katara. 

"Long night?" She asked with mischief in her eyes. 

"Haha" Sokka replied sarcastically. Normally he would've made an equally uncomfortable comment, but Zuko had grabbed his hand for support and he watched his face turn almost purple in embarrassment. No matter how much he wanted to mess with his sister, Zuko was more important than that. 

“You’re no fun Sokka,” Katara responded. She would’ve continued the joke too if it wasn’t for Zuko. “I made eggs and toast for breakfast. There’s fruit too if you want more.”

“Thank’s Katara,” Sokka said for both of them. When the teasing ended Zuko seemed to calm down, but still didn’t seem capable of speaking out loud yet. They sat down hand in hand and ate their food. Apparently, Toph was outside training Aang, and Zuko was going to train with him in the afternoon, so they had the morning together. “You still wanna go back to the cave system today?” He asked after Katara left to do whatever she does during the day. 

“Of course!” Zuko said, all lingering embarrassment forgotten. 

Sokka was ecstatic with the way he made his boyfriend light up when he encouraged him to speak about something that he loved. He did the same thing when they talked about theatre. Zuko stood up and grabbed Sokka’s hand before he could respond, and was pulling him along. Zuko didn’t calm down until Katara saw them and he flushed with embarrassment again, even still, he walked along quickly. 

Zuko all but dragged Sokka the rest of the way to the cave system, and before he could get the chance to say anything, he ducked inside. A few seconds later he heard Sokka’s gasp. The main entrance was beautiful. The walls had water trickling down them, and it was illuminated by glowing crystals. There were some old toys from when Zuko and Azula were small children, and there drawings on the dry walls from when they drew with their fire. 

Sokka was in awe. The entire place was glowing, and there were waterfalls with no apparent starting point, that seemed to flow directly into the floors. It was clear that Zuko and Azula had made a safe place there with pillows and blankets sitting on the floor with toys strewn around. There were drawings on the walls, some better than others that seemed to be made by fire. He looked at Zuko and saw the blinding smile on his face, clearly, this was a place full of good memories. “This place is amazing Zu!” Sokka said. 

“I know. This was the one place that me and Azula could be kids, and it was safe from our parents. They didn’t ever come out this way, and even if they did, we just went into the inner caves. They’re almost identical to this one, which is why I didn’t pull you further in.” Zuko said. He felt like he was rambling, but he didn’t care. “Father hadn’t corrupted Azula yet. Yes, she was still kind of sadistic, but she wasn’t evil. She still cared about people, and she didn’t play games solely to hurt people and animals.” 

“I know I’ve said this before, but I hate everything about Azula. I hate what she’s done to you, I hate what she’s still attempting to do to you, and I hate what caused her to do all of this.” Sokka said. 

“I know what you all want me to do if I become Fire Lord, but I don’t think I’m going to arrest or kill Azula. She needs help. I think I’m going to put her in an institution with proper chi blockers, and doctors that can help her. I want her to be my little sister again, not the weapon that my father has created." Zuko said sadly. He knew that she should be locked up to pay for her crimes, but she wasn't right when she did. She isn't want their father made of her, she's a broken 14-year-old, who was out under more pressure than he was. 

"I agree," Sokka said. He hated that Zuko seemed surprised. "She's Katara's age and she's been abused almost as much as you have, even if it wasn't physical. She deserves to get better, not to be locked up. She'd get worse in jail, not better." He said as he grabbed Zuko’s hand to try and comfort him. Zuko had been getting better at touch, he explicitly told Sokka that he was allowed to be physically and verbally affectionate around anyone who wasn’t a soldier, and anyone who wasn’t part of his family. He told Sokka that he had come out to Iroh, but he wanted to tell him about the two of them before they could do anything around him. 

“You doing okay?” Sokka asked after noticing that Zuko seemed to be elsewhere. 

“Yeah, I’m doing okay. You ready to head back?” Zuko asked Sokka. He got the feeling that his happy day was at its end after thinking of what he was going to do with Azula. He hoped that his boyfriend would at least be able to make it a tolerable day. 

“Sure thing firefly. What do you wanna do when we get back?” Sokka asked. He figured Zuko would want to do something together, but he wasn’t going to push him if he wanted to be alone.

“Cuddle?” Zuko asked, badly hiding the hopefulness in his voice. As much as he wanted to cuddle, he didn’t want to keep Sokka from doing anything he needed to do. 

“Of course. That sounds awesome.” Sokka said. He had noticed Zuko holding back whatever emotion he was feeling, but he could place it. He squeezed Zuko’s hand before letting go and making his way out of the small entrance. 

Zuko missed the feeling of Sokka’s hand, but he followed without complaint. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko woke up on the couch in their sitting room on Sokka’s chest. It was a nice feeling, but he jumped up when he saw Katara and Aang doing the same thing on the loveseat. While he knew that there was no reason to be afraid, his half-awake brain only registered the fact that he was in his old vacation house, sleeping on top of a boy, with other people in the room. In his haste to stand up, he forgot that he was wrapped around Sokka and fell onto the coffee table. 

Sokka woke up to Zuko jumping off of him and a loud crash. Sokka threw himself up without thinking, which made his head spin and he fell back onto the couch. Apparently, the sound of the two of them woke up Aang and Katara, and by the time his head stopped spinning enough to take in the room, it was in chaos. From what he could tell, something had spooked Zuko when he woke up and he fell into (and broke) the coffee table, and the combination of that and Sokka falling back onto the couch was enough to wake up a sleeping Aang and Katara, who at this point, were looking really worried and really confused. Sokka took a moment to look over at Zuko to make sure he was okay, and he was having a panic attack. 

Zuko’s entire body was shaking. He couldn’t breathe, and the only emotions he felt were fear and panic. He came around quickly enough to realize that he wasn’t in any actual danger, but he couldn’t calm down. He recognized that his mind wasn’t processing sound or sight correctly at that moment though. He didn’t register the conversation obviously going on between the siblings and Aang, and he didn’t register Sokka coming closer until he was right in front of him crouched down. 

“Hey, Zu. Do you remember the panic attack system we set up?” Sokka asked. He hoped he did so he wouldn’t have to do a bunch of yes and no questions. He was grateful when he got a nod in response. “Okay. What tier?” He asked again waiting for Zuko to indicate a number. 

Zuko very shakily put up a five, and then a three when he was asked how much contact. They had decided that Zuko would answer those questions only after they were asked. Sokka had wanted to make sure that he could specify who he wanted without any confusion as to what he wanted. As soon as Zuko had answered the second question, Sokka was behind him and holding tightly. Zuko was still unable to register most of his words, but he knew they were mostly mindless comforts. 

Sokka was glad that the system was working. This was their first real chance to use it, and as soon as Zuko had answered with a three he wrapped himself around Zuko like a koala-sheep. His hands were steady on Zuko’s, and his legs wrapped securely around the other’s. He was applying just enough pressure to ground him without hurting him, and murmuring soft comforting words in his ear. Now wasn’t the time to make conversation, that would come when he was calmed down. Soon enough Zuko’s breath evened out and he stopped shaking as bad, and that was the best he could hope for, he was probably going to be shaken up for the rest of the day. 

“You back with us Zu?” Zuko heard Sokka ask. He managed to respond with a soft “Yeah” because he knew Sokka wouldn’t believe him if he just nodded. That was one of the rules they had made, if he was back in the present and processing the world around him properly again, he had to respond verbally. Zuko wanted to apologize, but he knew that Sokka would be angry if he did so he just thanked Sokka for helping. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Sokka asked softly. He knew that sometimes panic attacks didn’t have an agitator that triggered them, but he also knew that if this one did, Zuko might want to talk about it. 

“It was stupid. I’m fine now, really.” Zuko responded. 

“Zuko. Nothing that could have caused you to panic so badly could possibly be stupid.” Aang said firmly, speaking for the first time since Zuko was able to comprehend it. When he glanced over, Katara was giving him that look that said “If you keep doubting yourself, I will kick your ass”, which meant he should probably get talking. 

“I woke up and I didn’t quite register the world around me. All I registered was that I was in this house, asleep on top of Sokka, with two people in the room. I jumped up because I was nervous, but I fell onto the coffee table and it sent me into a panic attack.” Zuko explained. He had turned around in Sokka’s arms and buried his face in his neck while he rubbed gentle circles on his back. 

“Do you want us to avoid doing that in the future? We just thought you looked comfortable and decided to join you.” Katara said. 

“I-It’s fine. You don’t have to go out of your way for me. Especially when I was the one who fell asleep first.” Zuko responded. He hated the idea of his friends missing out on things they enjoy because they made him feel uncomfortable. He could just stay awake next time. 

Sokka watched as Katara and Aang looked at each other with an expression that said they weren’t going to do it again before they nodded their heads. Sokka couldn’t bring himself to let go of Zuko, but the other two left the room so they could be alone. “You doing okay Zu?” Sokka asked. Just because he was no longer having a panic attack didn’t mean he was okay. 

“I think so,” Zuko responded. He had no clue if he would be or not, but right then, wrapped in Sokka’s arms, he was okay. Zuko managed to curl himself inwards without breaking Sokka’s hold on him. 

The two stayed like that for a while. Neither knew how long it had been, but when Katara called for dinner Zuko sent Sokka to eat and went back upstairs to their room since he wasn’t hungry. 

~~~~~~~~~~

About 10 minutes after Zuko going upstairs Sokka followed him with both of their plates of food, only to find Zuko sound asleep curled in on himself. He set Zuko’s plate on the nightstand and ate his dinner at the desk in the corner before crawling into bed with his boyfriend. He knew that if Zuko woke up hungry he could reheat it and that nightmares might be bad after that panic attack. He fell asleep shortly after, even though it was long before he normally would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for how late it is. I think I'm still going to try to post them once a week, but I'm going to make sure I post one every other week at the very least unless there's an issue like what happened with me getting sick. I hope you all enjoyed and I can't wait to read the comments because they give me life and enough willpower to write at least part of a chapter in a week. 
> 
> P.S. I've been working on an art project for school that I've based on A:TLA. If you'd like to see it, I'm updating my progress on my Tumblr, @Firelord-Eva


	27. Talking is Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka and Zuko face Zuko's Nightmares and panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm posting this from my phone this time as I'm not in town, but I really wanted to get this out when I said I would. I apologize in advance for any typos bc I can't use my grammar checker on my phone. I hope you enjoy the chapter anyways!

Apparently it was a nightmares filled night. Zuko had woken up every single time he had a nightmare for the last week at Ember island, only to find a comforting pressure around his middle and a warm body behind him. Tonight was different. Zuko woke up making noise, another thing he hadn’t done in almost a week, and he was shaking. This of course woke up Sokka, who had taken to being a light sleeper since the Gaang found out about his nightmares. 

“You okay?” Sokka asked with a voice rough from sleep. He was tired, but Zuko came first, and he hadn’t had a nightmare that bad in a while. 

“Y-Yeah. G-go back to sleep. I’m fine” Zuko stuttered. He hated how shaky his voice was but he didn’t think he would be capable of calming it if he tried. He knew Sokka wouldn’t believe him, but he tried anyways. 

“You’re not fine, and I’m not going back to sleep until you can too. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, but I’m listening if you do, and I’m staying up until you’re asleep again or we’re getting up for the day.” Sokka said stubbornly. He knew Zuko wasn’t going to let him help unless it was forced upon him, so that’s what he would do. He seemed roughly the same if he talked versus if he didn’t, so he wasn’t too upset if he chose not to talk about the nightmare. 

“You’re going to be mad at me if I tell you.” Zuko said sadly. His voice still shook, but he managed to avoid stuttering again. He hated nightmares like these, they made him feel awful and guilty, and they were so much worse than just reliving what happened in his past. 

“I will never, ever, be mad at you for talking to me, nor will I ever be upset with you over something that you can’t control. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here, and I’m not going to get angry or leave.” He didn’t want to push Zuko into talking, but he hadn’t denied that he wanted to talk, merely suggested that Sokka would be mad at him. 

“R-Really? Are you sure?” Zuko asked. 

“Yeah Zu. I’m here if you want to talk to me. You don’t have to, but I want to help.” He said reassuringly, making sure that Zuko could pull away if he wanted to. 

“Okay…” Zuko said quietly. He stayed quiet for so long after that, that Sokka started to think he wasn’t going to talk or had gone back to sleep, but then he started talking again. “I was hurting you. All of you..” Zuko said softly. He had tensed under Sokka’s arm, but not pulled away. 

“Okay. Was that all?” Sokka asked quietly, afraid of spooking Zuko. He knew that it was no big deal, even if it was terrifying. He used to have nightmares that he was the one to burn his mother to death, so he has no room to judge. 

When he realized that Sokka wasn’t angry he continued, albeit more shakily. “No. I was letting my family hurt you too. I didn’t want to. I could tell I didn’t want to. I think I was crying, but I couldn’t stop.” He broke into a sob at the end, finally being unable to avoid crying again. 

Sokka could tell that that was the end of what he was going to be told that night, so he just held his boyfriend as he cried. Normally he would try to help him calm down, but he refused to cry as much as he needed to so he was just going to let him cry himself back to sleep. He hated to admit it, but the best sleep he gets is always after he cried. He waited calmly for Zuko to cry himself out, and shortly after he stopped crying Sokka realized he was asleep and maneuvered them both into a laying position. He fell asleep soon after his boyfriend did. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka woke up to a cold bed and a small note on the nightstand. It was less personal than he would’ve expected from the last few he was left by Zuko, which worried him. Sokka had a feeling that today would be a bad day with little touching and less human interaction than he would like. He would always support Zuko, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely on Zuko’s bad days where he needed to be left alone. 

Normally Sokka would’ve left it go, but with how bad yesterday was, he figured it would be best for him to go retrieve Zuko’s swords from where they left them and then find Zuko just so he could make sure he wasn’t alone enough to hurt himself. He had a surprise for them that night, but there was no guarantee that it would cheer anyone up. 

~~~~~

Zuko was confused. He woke up and started training with Aang like he should’ve, but everyone was watching him closely. Aang was really careful with his attacks, and the others were in the courtyard with them. Watching them closely might be an overstatement. Katara was doing laundry and mending holes, Toph was taking a nap in the sun, and Sokka was sharpening his weapons while sitting on the stairs nearby. Normally at this time everyone was off on their own, but he supposes he doesn’t hate it. 

“Alright. That’s it for the day Aang. Don’t forget your meditation and then you’re free to go.” Zuko said. He wanted to get angry at him for treating him like he was going to break after his panic attack the night before, but he couldn’t bring himself to be mad. He was almost enjoying the softer tones around him that day. Before he could get too far into that line of thought Sokka called his name. 

Zuko wandered over to the spot where Sokka was sitting and took his spot next to him. He never realized how much he would love just being able to lean over and rest his head on someone’s shoulder without judgement. “Do you wanna talk about what happened yesterday? Remember, it’s okay if you don’t” Sokka’s said. Zuko knew he was talking too quietly for them to be overheard, but he responded even quieter than Sokka had. “Yeah, but not here.”

“Beach then?” Sokka asked. Zuko nodded his head and Sokka made quick work of setting aside his weapons and standing up with Zuko. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The two walked along the beach in relative silence for a while, with nothing more than a few words pointing out specific shells, clouds, or creatures. Zuko was the one to finally start talking. “I wasn’t really allowed to take naps at the palace.” He started. He used to wait for Sokka to respond with some angry remark, but now Sokka had learned to simply give a sign that he was listening and let him talk. 

“I woke up and the first thing I registered was the fact that I was on top of someone, had fallen asleep, and was in our vacation home. I didn’t realize much past that point, but it was that short moment of panic that ruined everything.” Zuko said quietly. Sokka squeezed his hand in silent encouragement. “I hate panic attacks. The moment of fear is always so damn small, but my body is already freaking out. It’s usually less than a full minute of fear, but it’s long enough for me to start trembling and lose the ability to speak or move. I can almost always hear the people around me after that initial moment of panic, but I can’t respond, I can barely move my hand enough to answer questions and I’m either hyperventilating or I’m not breathing at all.” He ranted. The two had come to a stop on the beach, and before he could recognize what was happening, Sokka was sitting and he was being pulled onto his lap and into a hug. 

“I know. I know they suck. And I can barely imagine how it is for you with how terrifying it is for me.” Sokka responded as he hugged Zuko harder. “I hate that you have to go through that, and I’m here for you when you need to talk. Always.” He said softly. 

“Thank you.” Zuko said, almost inaudibly. He hated the way he reacted to things, and he knew Sokka only wanted to help, but he always pushes people away when they try to help because he didn’t want them to see how hurt he was. After another few minutes of comfortable silence between the two, Zuko spoke up again. “Do we have any plans for today?” He asked quietly. 

“There’s a play about us being put on by the island’s theatre company. I figured that if you were feeling better than we could go watch it.” Sokka suggested. He knew how much Zuko loved theatre, but he also knows how much he hates the Ember Island Players, so it’s a fifty-fifty chance that he’ll want to go. 

“Please don’t tell me its the Ember Island Players,” Zuko groaned, finally sitting up enough to look into Sokka’s eyes. When Sokka nodded, he only groaned louder. “We’re totally going, but you’re all going to have to sit there and listen to me bashing the thing the whole time.” He said, completely serious. 

Sokka chuckled before planting a kiss on Zuko’s forehead as he muttered a soft “okay”. The next thing either of them heard was Katara screaming “OOGIES” at them from up the beach. Sokka flipped her of as Zuko buried his head on Sokka’s shoulder to hide his embarrassment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and I can't wait to read the comments. Let me know if there's anything specific you wanna see in this fic in the future, I'm starting to run out of ideas to keep me going and I don't wanna rush the ending. <3<3<3


	28. I have a Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Not an actual chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plz forgive me for this.

Hello. I apologize for doing this, but this is the only real way I can actually think to ask readers questions without leaving people out. I'm wondering how you guys would feel of I broke this down into two parts in a series. I'm think that chapter 30 will probably be the cutoff for this part, and the next one would start back up at 31. I myself find it annoying when people make really long fics and don't break it up because it becomes harder to remember what chapter you were on when you last read. I'd also like to ask that if any of you noticed any plot holes in the fic that you tell me. I never wrote an outline for this and I just kinda let my mind ramble as I go. I don't like leaving things unfinished and someone brought to my attention on the last chapter that I completely forgot the "Zuko was drugged by Zhao" plot point at some point and I'd like to prevent that from happening again. Even if it's recent feel free to bring it up. If there's anything else you might like to see in the fic plz feel free to let me know as well. Sorry for the long rambling update, and potentially getting your hopes up, but I need feedback in order to improve on this. I hope you're all having as good of a day as you can, and that you're doing well. <3<3<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your feedback. Plz don't kill me


	29. Ember Island Players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang go to watch The Boy in the Iceberg. It doesn't go well for Zuko and confessions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that this went up so much later than I wanted it to. It's been a stressful week, but we're getting back on top of things. This might go to updating once every three weeks, but I'm going to try and avoid that if I can. After this one goes up I'm going to take down my post about splitting the fic in two. It's been decided that it will be split, and you might notice the fancy new link at the top that takes you to the series. The second part will be linked in there so it's easily found when we start this. I'm gonna try and get through Sozin's comment in the next two chapters, so it might feel a little rushed, but the chapters will be longer than they have been. I hope that makes up for it. I hope you also enjoy this chapter, and I can't wait to read the comments. <3

Everyone had settled down for the afternoon on the beach that apparently belongs to the Firelord at that point. Katara and Aang were in the water bending together, Toph was working on her sandbending, and Zuko was curled up on his chest under the umbrella. 

“Hey, guys, what do you think about going to see a play tonight?” Sokka asked during a lull in the conversation. “It’s called  _ The Boy in the Iceberg _ and I managed to get us tickets for this evening, but I’m sure I could sell them at the door if you don’t want to go.”

The group responded with a soft chorus of affirmative answers, and they went back to talking about nonsense. It was almost comical how fast Zuko fell asleep after that. He almost never slept and constantly talked about how he couldn’t sleep when the sun was up, and yet as soon as he was on Sokka’s chest he was out cold. If Sokka knew that all it took to get him to sleep properly was someone to cuddle with, he would’ve offered long before they even started dating. 

The group had migrated into the water by the time they were supposed to be eating dinner. Sokka softly shook Zuko awake and somehow managed to get everyone out of the water for dinner so they wouldn’t be late to the play. As Katara started dinner, Aang and Toph went out to do some earthbending practice, and Sokka and Zuko sat on the couch together.

Well. Sitting on the couch is one way to put it. Another way to put it is Zuko laying across Sokka as they talked. “Can I ask you something?” Sokka asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“Sure,” Zuko responded softly. Neither one of them seemed to want to break the moment with loud words. 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I remembered something you said a little while ago,” Sokka said. 

Zuko was getting slightly concerned. Sokka hadn’t pointed out that he didn’t have to answer something in a while now, so it must be something big. “Okay. Shoot.” Zuko said. 

“A couple of weeks ago you mentioned that Zhao drugged you, but you never elaborated. It’s crossed my mind a few times since then, but I never got the chance to ask.” Sokka said. 

“Oh. Nothing really happened as far as I’m aware. I don’t remember much though. Zhao had seemed like he wanted to try something like that for a while beforehand though, but Uncle always managed to convince Zhao to let him make the tea. Uncle stepped out for a few minutes, I don’t remember what for though. I hated the man, but of course, I had to be ‘polite’ to those above me, which he was at that point. He poured my next cup and I knew it didn’t taste right, but I ignored it. I remember the room starting to spin when Uncle came back and Zhao offering to let me rest in his room. Thankfully Uncle declined because he knew how I reacted to waking up in unknown places. Next thing I remembered I was waking up in the infirmary and Uncle refused all visits from Zhao for the next year.” Zuko said. 

“How old were you?” Sokka asked before he could stop himself. He needed to know exactly how angry he had to be that he wasn’t the one to kill Zhao. 

“I was 13 when we started having tea with him, but it was about a month after my fourteenth birthday when he actually got the chance. He never tried again when my uncle was around but he kept trying to get me alone anyway. Thankfully my uncle never left me alone with him again.” Zuko responded. “And before you ask, yes Sokka, I’m aware that this was messed up, but I can’t do anything about it now and nothing really happened so I’m choosing to ignore the fact that it happened at all.” 

“That’s called repressing things, but I suppose I would be a hypocrite if I told you not to do that so I’ll leave this be with a reminder that you can talk to me if you need to. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After they had all eaten dinner, they took off for the play. Zuko put on his cloak and Aang covered his tattoo, but the rest of them just wore regular clothes. Sokka had gotten them all seats in the skybox much to Toph’s disappointment, and they finally managed to settle down just as the lights dimmed. 

Sokka didn’t know what he expected. This was a play produced by the Fire Nation, the place had so much propaganda that they probably didn’t even realize that this wasn’t the truth. 

“This is already awful, and we’ve literally only met you, Katara, and Aang,” Zuko muttered under his breath. 

“I know. Hopefully, it won’t get worse. They might at least portray you and your Uncle in a good light.” Sokka said in a hopeful tone

"Yeah. Right. Let's paint the two traitorous princes in a good light. Sounds like an amazing idea for a propaganda play." Zuko responded sarcastically. 

“Hey, at least we might get a chance to make fun of these idiots for believing it,” Sokka said goodnaturedly. 

“Will you two shut up? We’re trying to actually watch this thing!” Katara whisper shouted before dramatically turning back around. 

“Sorry.” Sokka and Zuko whispered at the same time. Zuko a touch more apologetically than Sokka. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

They somehow made it to the intermission without any of them having a tantrum, but it was a close thing. Toph was the only one of them that seemed to be enjoying themself, and it’s most likely to change once they meet her actress. 

“This has been complete bullcrap so far,” Aang said. “I do  _ not _ look like a woman” He added indignantly. 

Sokka would’ve tried to comfort him, but while Zuko had made a comment about the intermission being the best part so far, but other than that he’s been silent. Sokka had expected commentary about how bad the effects were and the casting issues while he ate fire flakes, no the silent teen sitting in the corner. 

“You okay?” Sokka asked quietly enough that the others wouldn’t overhear. 

“I think so. Just reliving some unpleasant memories.” Zuko responded quietly. He hated being reminded of how he treated his uncle, and he was also feeling the mental effects that result from his eating disorder being brought up. 

“We don’t have to go back in if you don’t want to. I’m sure the others will want to see it to the end, but I’m down for whatever you want.” Sokka said. He figured that getting him to eat would be a challenge the next few days, but he hoped it wasn’t going to get too bad. He had been eating three meals a day with nothing more than a small reminder for the last few weeks, but he expected Zuko to reject food again after the reminder of how much he shamed his uncle for it. 

“I want to keep watching. But I don’t think I should be left alone for the next couple of days.” Zuko responded. 

Sokka knew how much that one statement probably meant for Zuko, and he was just grateful that his boyfriend was doing well enough to ask for help when he knew he wasn’t safe on his own. “You won’t have to be. I’ve got you.” Sokka said as he pulled Zuko into his side. 

“Thank you,” Zuko said softly as he sank against Sokka’s side. 

Before they knew it the call for the end of intermission was ringing and they were making their way back into their skybox. Sokka made sure to grab Zuko some fire flakes before they settled down and tried to coax him into eating them. 

~~~~~~~~~~

By the second intermission, Zuko had managed to eat about a fourth of the fire flakes, with how small the bag was initially it meant that he only had about a handful. 

Sokka had stepped away to get Zuko something to eat and left him with Toph for a while. He was worried, but he also knew that Zuko needed to hydrate. 

When he returned to Zuko's side he seemed to have curled into himself more, and Sokka immediately knew that they had to go back to the house early. "C'mon Zu. We're going back early." Sokka said. He expected more fighting from Zuko, so it really worried him when he just accepted his hand up and started walking back quietly. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The two managed the whole walk back in silence without anything going wrong. 

"Can you talk about it Zu? At least try for me please," Sokka said. He hoped Zuko would talk but he understood that it might be a couple of days before he did. 

Zuko could feel himself shaking, so he gave a short response. "I think I'm just going to go to bed." He said as he started walking away. "In my own room" he added as an afterthought because he didn't want to be a bother to Sokka. 

"We can go to your room, and if you want I can stay in a chair or on the floor, but I'm not leaving you alone like this. Especially after you asked earlier for me not to." Sokka said firmly. He wasn't going to push boundaries if Zuko didn’t want to be touched or to share a bed, but he also wasn’t going to let Zuko hurt himself. 

“You don’t have to Sokka. I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t need you there to babysit me.” Zuko said shortly. Regardless of what the others think, he doesn’t actually lose his temper due to anger, he just doesn’t know how else to express that he doesn’t want to hurt people on accident. 

“I’m not your babysitter. I’m your boyfriend, and I love you. I’m not going to let you suffer through this on your own, even if you want me to. We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to touch, hell, we don’t even have to look at each other, but I’m not leaving you alone tonight. Or tomorrow for that matter.” Sokka said. It came out more angry than he wanted it to, but he was raging internally at everyone who trained him to react like this to someone caring about him. 

“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want you to be there?! That maybe I just don’t want someone breathing down my neck all night?!” Zuko shouted. He immediately felt like an asshole, mainly because he was, but he didn’t back down and apologize. He needed Sokka away from him because it would only hurt him more if he saw him hurting. 

Before Zuko could comprehend anything else, Sokka’s arms were around him and holding him close to his chest. He managed to hold his defensive stance for all of five seconds before he melted into the embrace and started sobbing. 

Sokka didn’t know what was going on with Zuko, but it was bad. He knew that Zuko only really yelled when he was protecting himself or others, so he knew that he wasn’t actually angry. All he could think to do was hold him close as he freaked out. Sokka had expected more fighting after this, not the firebender tensing for five seconds and then having all of the fight drain out of him while he sobbed. They were still outside, so Sokka took them out towards the pond in the back of the house and held Zuko in his lap as he cried. 

Zuko couldn’t remember the last time he was held with this much love. Yeah, he and Sokka cuddled and those embraces had a romantic love in them, but this, this felt like someone gluing him back together as he broke. The way he was being held reminded him of his mother and his uncle holding him when he was little. He felt  _ safe _ , and he didn’t know what to do with that so he just cried harder until he couldn’t anymore. 

“Zuko, I’m not going to walk away from you when you’re like this. Even if you want to, even if you think you’re protecting yourself or someone else, I’m not going to leave you like this. And you can scream and kick and yell at me to leave all you want, but I’m not going to leave because I know for a fact that you don’t mean any of it.” Sokka said firmly. He hated seeing his boyfriend like this so he was going to do his best to make it better. 

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know why I do it, but I do. I did it to Uncle too. I think it might’ve started when mom left.” Zuko didn’t know why he was saying all this but it felt important. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I never want you to go. I just don’t want to hurt you, and I know this probably sounds really controlling and clingy, but I don’t want you to leave me. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I get someone to leave because I was awful than because they just don’t like me. I don’t know why.” He was seriously regretting what he was saying, but it was like a dam was broken and he couldn’t stop. He didn’t  _ want _ to push Sokka away, but he had the feeling that he would try again the next time he was depressed. He had to tell Sokka that he didn’t, and  _ wouldn’t _ mean it. 

“I know Zu. In case you haven’t noticed, I do my best to prove to people that I’m okay with jokes even when I’m not. And you push people away who care for you because you don’t want to hurt them. Katara mother hens the shit outta us, and Aang just doesn’t sleep. Toph somehow manages to be more emotional and close to people, while also somehow being violent about it. Now that I know that you push people away I can try to be there for you more when you do.” Sokka said all while holding Zuko close. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You really don’t have to put up with this if you don’t want to. I completely understand if you don’t want to.” Zuko said. He was clutching Sokka so hard that he was sure it was going to bruise. 

“You didn’t do anything to deserve me. People deserve happiness Zuko. And that includes literally everyone except those who have become monsters like your father. You had a rough childhood, and this is them giving you something good to make up for it. I will put up with you no matter what you do. I love you Zuko, flaws and all. I’d even love you if you got that stupid ponytail back.” Sokka joked trying to lighten the mood. He wasn’t sure if Zuko had noticed, but he had started crying again against his chest. He got a wet laugh for his troubles though. “I know the play was pretty shitty but was there something specific that set you off?” He asked. 

“The scar was on the wrong side,” Zuko said as if that explained everything. At Sokka’s confused look he elaborated, “If it has depictions of the royal family in it it has to be checked by the Firelord themself to ensure that they aren’t being put in a poor light. My father either didn’t care that it was on the wrong side, or didn’t remember which side of my face he burned. That’s the only way that that could’ve happened.” Zuko said sourly. 

Sokka didn’t have any words for this situation so he just simply held Zuko closer. If they were any closer they’d become one person. 

“I know I said I was tired at first to try and push you away, but emotional confessions are actually exhausting. Can we go to bed? With cuddles.” Zuko said, adding the last part hopefully. 

“Of course Zu. And yes, we can cuddle. I love cuddling if you haven’t noticed.” Sokka said with a chuckle. 

The two of them walked upstairs together in silence. They both slept soundly that night having spent all of their emotional capacity on that conversation. Thankfully no one questioned them on it that morning either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed this, and I wanna apologize again because of how late this ended up being. Hopefully if everything stays on track, the next chapter should be up before Christmas break starts. Tysm for reading, and I would appreciate a comment if you have the time. <3<3<3


	30. Hiatus Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys.... <3

I feel really bad doing this to everyone who reads my fics, but I think this is necessary. I’m going on a hiatus for a minimum of two weeks. If you read both Zuko’s Nightmares and Rebel Zuko, don’t bother checking the update on the other one. I’m posting this to both of these fics to make it easier on everyone. To those of you reading this on Rebel Zuko, I am especially sorry to leave you like this after just starting. I want to assure you that I am absolutely  _ not _ abandoning either of these fics. I recognize in myself the first signs of burnout. I start college classes soon, bowling season just picked up, my mental health tanked, and Covid is spreading rapidly in my small town. I’m a person who has severe anxiety and depression, along with many other mental disorders that you can probably piece out from some of my fics, but these things make it very hard to maintain a schedule when I’m stressed. My friend has been pointing out to me for the last couple of weeks that I’m stretching myself too thin, and I need a break. I’m writing this after a pretty bad dissociative episode that left me numb to a lot of emotions and finding it hard to get out of bed. I may or I may not write during this time, but I most definitely will not be posting to either of the fics mentioned above. You might see one or two one-shots posted during my hiatus, but more likely than not, it’s just gonna be some fluff or angst that I used to work through my own emotions. I’m hoping to be back by Christmas, but I could very well be out longer than that. I made a promise to myself that I would try to get better, and part of that is recognizing that I’m going downhill. I might still post to Tumblr, and I’ll update you sometime during the week of Christmas to tell you if I plan on being up and posting again or if I’ll stay off for a little while longer. I’m sure those of you who follow me on Tumblr noticed the sharp decrease in posts and reblogs from me in the last few days, and I won’t make any say about whether I will or won’t be posting on there mainly because I never really put much effort into my Tumblr in the first place outside of updates about my fics. I won’t be updating either of these fics until the next chapter is ready, so see my Tumblr @Firelord-eva for further updates on this. Sorry again guys. <3<3<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions feel free to find my tumblr and yell at me on there. I'll still be responding to comments on here as well if you wish, the responses will just be slower. Plz don't be upset, I'll be back before you know it. <3<3<3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed what I wrote so far. I'll try to update frequently and make sure to keep it interesting. Please let me know if I leave any plot holes that you notice, or if I seem to forget a tag. I'm also open to suggestions in the comments if you want (no promises that it will happen though).
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr for updates: @Firelord-Eva


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